Sometimes I forget my age and that some of my dear fellow patrons are only about to hit it off for girls for the first time, or that they are struggling at the very beginning. So, this time, I’ll give you some real advice (though the twenties stack does work!)

1. Be self-confident. That compensates for so many things, you would not believe me! When you see an ugly guy dating hottest girls, ask yourself; if he is not rich or in a band (I was in a band, and got far more after I quit it and cut my hair! ), then he must have self-comfidence. Women fall for that. Deep within, they are still in search for a stronger, protector type, but will fight a long time with you before they roll over and submit to your domination.

Btw, self-confidence doesn’t work for guys only, it works for girls as well. I knew a girl in the high school, and she was…well, ugly is not the real word. She was modern art combined with a Picasso seizure. No matter how cruel this sounds, it’s a fact that she had one eye lower than the other and always half closed, one side of her mouth was kind of lamed, so she would speak with the other side, and often she would have a string of mucus hanging from the upper teeth to the lower teeth. I shit you not!

This girl had been getting some each weekend, when she would go out. And that is true! There were times when even I would stare at her, the post-modern Quasimodo, and wonder what was so special about her… Akhm… Perhaps if I myself gave it a try…


See!?! SEEEE!?!

2. Hygiene always helps.

3. Next to being a self-confident, be a decent loser. Being the greatest guy doesn’t mean you can get any girl. I’ve had my share of refusals, but what I did was something no girl ever expected; I’d just say “ok, hun, have a better one”, smiled at her, greeted her warmly and strolled off. I would still say hallo to her in passing, I’d be as cool as possible because I didn’t really care. Plenty fish in the sea.
That would drive them wild. I have so often received an initial “no” and then strolled away to the other that would say “yes”; my complete and utter indifference is what made them practically mad! They start to question their own value, why aren’t you crushed to ground and crying, wonder if they made a mistake… The slimiest thing is a guy that gets brushed off and goes “you damn bitch, you are not worth my time, yaddda yadda yadda” and then they go spilling poison to anyone who wants or doesn’t want to hear what a bitch that girl is. I never did that. There are plenty fish in the sea, my friend. I treat a no like a businessmen; ok, thank you for your time, have a pleasant day. And I mean it! Most of those girls that have said no in the beginning came back, but my policy was not to diminish myself, and even if I stayed polite and nice, I refused their approach. Take that, haha!

4. Do not concentrate on one girl. On a party or in a disco you can fly like a busy bee around about 6-7 flowers, I managed a dozen in my better days. No matter how many say no to you, there will always be one that will say yes, and start acting on it. Better to get five “no” and one “yes” in a night then to stick to the same flower all night and be sent home under great pressure. Please, don’t do that.

I just remembered a party me and another girl threw in one summer; a beautiful night at the sea, nice easy going music, pretty girls, house for us alone. I was sitting with a girl on the couch, cannot remember her name, but I know that on another party several months ago she was dancing with me as she was practically sitting on my crotch, I shit you not. (Btw, she was engaged at the time with her first and only boyfriend; so much about decent women. That, of course, I didn’t know, I found only later.) So I sit and talk to people around, nip on my beer, listen to the music and caress the girls legs and back next to me. She wears this thin summer dress the weighs about the weight of a dream and looks even prettier. So, that dark-haired beauty turns around to me, smiles and asks:
“What do you think you are doing?”
I smile back and reply “What does it look like?”
“Don’t do that.” She says laughing, and I swear to you, you’ve never heard a “don’t do that” that sounds more like “keep going”. I knew it from our dance together from before, as well. So, things keep going as they did, I still make jokes and talk to people, while my left hand is still mapping her body. Not aggressively, just as you would, say, stroke your dog that would lie next to you. Again she turns around to me with her smile and a horny look in her eyes.
“Didn’t I tell you to stop?”
Me, being the frickin’ maharajah I was back then, reply calmly, not too loud, but not silently either, and everyone in the room can hear me if they wanted to pay attention.
“Woman,” I said smiling from my half-sitting and half-lying position , “you don’t honestly think you gonna sit there, smelling like spring, with your pretty legs and tush only an inch away from me and not to expect I won’t take a grab?”
“Yeah, that’s how I want to have it.” But her eyes lie.
I, on the other hand, am not even up for playing that game.
“Woman, if you don’t like what I’m doing, why did you sit next to me? See, there is some free place over there, at the table.”
So I got her cornered, but she won’t give up that fast. She really gets up, sits at the table and her eyes go “aaaa-HA! Thought I wouldn’t, hehe…”
To which I simply reply: “Damn, I am alone now here at the sofa, and I’m dying. Is there no girl that would like to join me here?”

Hold on for a second. Can you get any lamer than this? Probably, but this is already hard bottom of lameness.

But another girl stands up and comes over to me. I just met her that evening, and she had the nicest smile and the biggest breasts of all attended.

“Much better.”, I replied, while the first girl looked like she was going to explode. Now, she got none that evening, I can tell you that. Me and the girl number two, on the other hand, had great time, both on the sofa and on the beach later on in the early hours, we were seeing each other for year and a half (I was in my first engagement back then, so we weren’t exactly a “couple”…yeah, I know, instant karma’s gonna get me!) and had a lot of fun and good times.

Huh, this got long. Damn, I love talking about myself! Don’t do that too much before a girl, another good advice.

Good hunting, gents!