We Who are about to die....


“We’ll I don’t know what your all so miserable about, I’ve always been a great fan of the Games - I can’t believe I’m actually getting to take part. This is amazing!”

“Your insane, leave me alone, just stop talking ok?”

“Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me.”

“Oh great, I’m going to be fed to the lion with the Christians. That’s just great that is.”

“What does it matter, I think I’m more upset about the fed to the lion than who I’m with.”

“Well everyone will think I’m a Christian won’t they? I‘ve got a reputation to worry about.”

“Is everyone in this place mad?”

“Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me.”

“Hey no one else is going to get fed to the lion.”

“HOORAY”
“Awwww…”
“Thank Jesus!”

“They just set a Gorilla on it - It wasn’t pretty.”

“I thought Gorillas were quiet timid creatures?”

“I’d say this one is more sadistic and imaginative personally.”

“Ohh I hope I get to meet one of the Gladiators, that’d be f**king A that would.”

“Right you ‘orrible lot, oo’s next? You’ll do.”

“No NOT meeee, NOT meeeeeee…..”

“Poor little sod”

“Hey wow, he’s a bit of a nutter this guy - he just bit the Gorilla!”

“Ha ha, I think he’s going to…..”

“Oh”

“I think I’m going to be sick again.”

“Jesus will save me. Jesus will save me. Jesus will save me.”

“I didn’t know people could lean backwards so far.”

“They can’t.”

“He just did.”

“I think that’s called being snapped in two by a rampaging gorilla. Its not a form of exercise likely to catch on.”

“You know I think they’ve filed that Gorillas teeth to points. It shouldn’t have been able to bite that guys head off like that.”

“Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me.”

“Right, let ’ave another one.”

“NOOO… Take the Christian, THE CHRISTIAN!!!”

“That’s an original approach. I wonder if the Gorilla understands begging for mercy.”

“Hmmm, judging by that I’d say no.”

“Unless he was begging for the Gorilla to do that to him.”

“That seems unlikely.”

“Hey… did you hear that - Maximus Killerus is coming on later. Wow, I’m his biggest fan. I hope I get to meet him.”

“I’m just ignoring you now.”

“Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me, Jesus will save me.”

“You’d think that guy could at least tried to last a little longer, for our sakes I mean.”

“Why? Are you enjoying it in here?”

“Urrrm, no not really.”

“Have you ever seen Maximus Killerus? He’s like completely great.”

“Heh Heh, ‘nother one for Mr Gorilla.”

“What, no wait you don’t understand - I didn’t do it. I DIDN’T DO…..”

“Hey look the Gorilla’s escaping!”

“What!?”

“Its just hauled itself over the parapet into the crowd!”

“Ha Ha, serve ‘em right the bloodthirsty sods!”

“Awww yeah, this is why I love the Arena, you never know what’s going to happen next!”

“That Gorilla sure can shift it!”

“Too right - Go Gorilla GO!”

“It’s heading for the emperors box!”

“Ha Ha, I never knew Praetorian guards heads came off so easily.”

“Look out Gorilla… LOOK OUT.”

“Awww, that was a dirty trick.”

“Are you kidding - that was top notch arena entertainment. That running dive with outstretched Gladius was technically flawless! Wow, this is the best afternoon I’ve ever had at the arena.”


“I have a funny feeling it might get worse.”

“What’s coming out next?”

“Umm its some guy…”

“Is it Jesus?”

“I don’t know - Is Jesus 7 foot tall and the same across at the shoulders?”

“Oh..”

“Hey it is.. It really is…”

“Right, lets be ‘aving the Christian.”

“No, Take me, Take me!”

“Jesus will save me, Jesus will save…”

“TAKE MEEEE.”

“I thought you were having a good time in here? Wadda you want to leave for?”

“Do you know who that is out there? That’s only the Dacian Disemboweller! I’d give anything to meet him.”

“Oh….. Right.”

“Hey, A Jesus just saved the Christian!”

“What?”
“Really?”
“No way!!!”

“Only kidding - I tell you what though, for a little guy he sure does bleed a lot.”

“Blerugh”

“Oh thanks, I was really hoping someone would be sick on me today.”

“Right then, oo’s next?”

“Meeeee… Meeeee.”

“Fair ‘Nuff lad. S’always a pleasure to get an enthusiastic one, y’know that?”




“Look at him, he seems so happy.”

“Strange that.”

“Yeah, I mean most people find that sort of thing incredibly painful.”

“It was quite obliging of the gladiator really, carving his autograph into his chest.”

“Oh yeah, he can’t do enough to help others that guy.”

“Oh won’t you all just shut up. I don’t want to know what’s going on out there, Ok?”

“Fine I will.”

“Cor, what a miserable sod. What’s your problem eh?”