Quote Originally Posted by yesdachi
As with any “code” there were those who chose to stick to it to the letter and those who practiced it only when in front of others that mattered. Say, their girlfriends dad? I think that chivalry was, in at least some cases, a trendy thing that inspired patriotism and could be used almost like marketing to build up a ruler’s popularity.

On the flip side I think there have been plenty of accounts where a knight has not been very knightly to commoners, peasants, their subjects, ugly girls, or even their peers and lords but usually behind their backs (political plotting and such dishonesty was not very chivalrous).

Same goes for the Samurais Bushido, Musketeers code and who knows how many others. I’m sure that there were iconic examples of each but most probably fell somewhere in the middle.
Of course... It was a sort of guideline rather than a rule. 'A proper knight does this and that, not this and that.' But the knight could just say 'Pffffft' and go about being a brute and uncivilized criminal, and nobody would stop him. He was lord and almost absolute in his rule. Yeah yeah, he couldn't just kill outright, but since he set up the court for his parish then it seems unlikely that he would suffer any serious consequences from abusive rule.

But the courtly love was a brilliant concept to indeed bring the nobles closer together. They would intramerry, rather than go abroad and find some lady. How it came about I don't know, but I know that it existed and it would be deemed 'romantic' even by modern standards.