Duh! "Intelligent Falling"!!!

[Quietus]

D'oh! There's no gravity according to the Evangelical Center for Faith-based Reasoning. It's all about God pushing objects 'down' called the Intelligent Falling Theory.

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with new "Intelligent Falling" Theory

"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down,"

[Grey_Fox]

They've reached a new low...

[Ser Clegane]

You are both aware that this is satire, aren't you?

[Grey_Fox]

Meh, I didn't actually look at the link.

[Navaros]

in any case, God still invented gravity therefore God still deserves full credit anytime anything falls down

[Idaho]

He might not have done. It might have been a strange side effect of something else. He might have thought - "lets create mass.. whoa! Check this out - gravity seems to be function of mass. Note to self: give it a few billion years and create a bloke called Einstein to tell everyone about it".

[Quietus]

You are both aware that this is satire, aren't you?

1) Uh, no. I didn't know it was a satirical site....
2) The idea is equally bunk as Intelligent Design, that's why it sounded genuine.

in any case, God still invented gravity therefore God still deserves full credit anytime anything falls down

First of all, nothing is really falling down. You are pulling Earth towards you and the Earth is pulling you towards it. And the force is dependent the masses of and the distance between the two objects.

Secondly, if "God" invented gravity, then who gets credit for inventing "God"?

[The Stranger]

what is satire, i think those people really dont have a clue.

[English assassin]

To be fair, the internet is so mad its not always easy to spot satire.

in any case, God still invented gravity therefore God still deserves full credit anytime anything falls down

THIS certainly sent my satire-o-meter into the red zone, for instance. After all, everyone knows Newton invented gravity, just as Darwin invented evolution.

[RabidGibbon]

I can't belive any one would fall for such an obvious satire - It's obvious to anyone with sense that the noodly appendage of the Flying spaghetti monster is responsible for things falling to earth. .

[The Stranger]

what is SATIRE>What is it???????

[Spetulhu]

I can't belive any one would fall for such an obvious satire.

Spotting it as satire might be hard if you're still laughing at the church for the flat Earth and the Earth-centered solar system. Perhaps these guys wanted to go back to a time when answers were simple?

[Ser Clegane]

what is SATIRE>What is it???????

Satire (Wikipedia)

[Kommodus]

Yes, as others have pointed out, The Onion is a well-known satirical news source, which I actually enjoy reading most of the time. I had read this article yesterday and found it mildly humorous, although many of their articles are much funnier. Of course, "Intelligent Falling" and "Intelligent Design" have nothing in common. It's reminiscent of when scientists say something to the effect of, "anyone who disputes [some point of Evolution] might as well belong to the flat-earth society." Sigh. The origins of life on earth have nothing to do with how it's shaped. I get tired of hearing such logical fallacies.

Check this out - gravity seems to be function of mass. Note to self: give it a few billion years and create a bloke called Einstein to tell everyone about it".

I think you mean Newton.

Beyond that, I'm not getting into this debate. It became clouded long ago by people on all sides who refuse to understand the other points of view, and are quick to believe the worst about them. Look at how quickly people believed that this article was legitimate, even though the satire of the article, and indeed the entire Onion site, is easy to spot. Please, if you want to comment on this subject at all, at least first try to understand both Evolution and Intelligent Design - and don't get all your research from sites that are friendly to your present point of view.

[Al Khalifah]

How ironic. You thought you were so superior for ridiculing a perceived Christian stupidity, yet you lacked the intelligence to perceive satire yourself. Showed you didn't it? Try harder next time before you start slagging others off.

Christianity 1
You 0

[Del Arroyo]

"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"

Actually, I thought the article was pretty funny.

DA

[Navaros]

1)
First of all, nothing is really falling down. You are pulling Earth towards you and the Earth is pulling you towards it. And the force is dependent the masses of and the distance between the two objects.

Secondly, if "God" invented gravity, then who gets credit for inventing "God"?

um yeah, well you're just arguing semantics here. the point is still the same

as for your question: God invented God

[Lazul]

So God created himseld out of what?

Anyway, so where do you draw the line between God invented this, or "This human" invented it.
If God invented everything, then you could say that Alfred Nobel didnt invent the Dynamite!? Since god must have allready invented it. In some sick way, we human can then Never be original.

[Al Khalifah]

God didn't create himself. God just has always been since ever, before the Universe.

God created man and gave him free will to do as he pleased. Everything man has ever achieved is to the credit of mankind and everything horror man has ever inflicted on man is to the same of mankind. Mankind has invented everything ever invented (except maybe a few crude tools invented by monkeys and such).

Nobody invented gravity, it was discovered. The Universe god created experiences this phenomenon and man discovered it.

[The Stranger]

Satire (Wikipedia)

thanx

[Lazul]

God didn't create himself. God just has always been since ever, before the Universe.

God created man and gave him free will to do as he pleased. Everything man has ever achieved is to the credit of mankind and everything horror man has ever inflicted on man is to the same of mankind. Mankind has invented everything ever invented (except maybe a few crude tools invented by monkeys and such).

Nobody invented gravity, it was discovered. The Universe god created experiences this phenomenon and man discovered it.

So then human kind is capable of inventing things god never thought of?

[yesdachi]

Well god had to come from somewhere didn't he? Where did this "God" come from? There's no explanation for HIS existence. That's where both the christiain view and the big bang view fall apart. What created the big bang? We're not sure. What created god? The pastor will hit you with a stick for asking.

Where did this "God" come from? The minds of people without answers.

Throughout history people have always used “god” as the answer to all the questions we don’t know the true answers to.

[AntiochusIII]

God didn't create himself. God just has always been since ever, before the Universe.

God created man and gave him free will to do as he pleased. Everything man has ever achieved is to the credit of mankind and everything horror man has ever inflicted on man is to the same of mankind. Mankind has invented everything ever invented (except maybe a few crude tools invented by monkeys and such).

Nobody invented gravity, it was discovered. The Universe god created experiences this phenomenon and man discovered it.

Proof?

[PanzerJaeger]

How ironic. You thought you were so superior for ridiculing a perceived Christian stupidity, yet you lacked the intelligence to perceive satire yourself. Showed you didn't it? Try harder next time before you start slagging others off.

LoL - I was going to post something along the lines of "Who is the idiot now?".

[AntiochusIII]

How ironic. You thought you were so superior for ridiculing a perceived Christian stupidity, yet you lacked the intelligence to perceive satire yourself. Showed you didn't it? Try harder next time before you start slagging others off.

Well, I just happen to percieve satire myself. It's the ONION, after all.

Anyway, Creationists that don't believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster...oh, I don't want to flame, but really...

Infidels! ;-I

Seriously, the issue that give the motives for people to create this satire is, in every possible, pathetic. Absolute bullshit nonsensical fanatics' stupidity. They want a popular-yet-boring folktale "creation myth" be taught as the first ever absolute science. Even evolutionism is just a scientific theory, despite the overwhelming evidence, as it's supposed to be this way. So, yeah...

"Hey look! In Six Days, you can...change your image, make yourself more mature, get a new phone, fight wars, and, oh...create the universe!"

[Al Khalifah]

So then human kind is capable of inventing things god never thought of?

Yes

Well god had to come from somewhere didn't he? Where did this "God" come from? There's no explanation for HIS existence. That's where both the christiain view and the big bang view fall apart. What created the big bang? We're not sure. What created god? The pastor will hit you with a stick for asking.

No God didn't come from somewhere. He has ALWAYS been there - since ever. I believe the big bang theory, but something had to cause the big bang and the matter involved in the big bang had to come from somewhere. Where? What created that matter? My local vicar also has a first in chemistry - hardly the sign of a closed mind.

Proof?

I don't know for certain that my girlfriend is cheating on me right now. She might be sleeping with other men/women. I could follow her round all the time and keep her under constant surveillance, but I prefer to rely on a little something called faith. Sometimes I choose to believe in others. Scientists do the same. Not every physicist has looked through an electron microscope and seen the fundamental particles that constitute an atom, so how do they know that an atom is made up of such particles - they take it on faith.

[Del Arroyo]

IMO if you take it down to basics there is no conceptual distinction between an all-powerful "God" and the collective sum of everything.

Of course, if you take it from that perspective, then no group or book can have a monopoly on what "God" "says". It would have to be a process of ongoing observation and hypothesis....

DA

[Quietus]

um yeah, well you're just arguing semantics here. the point is still the same

Oh no. Pushing means the force is coming from one direction (i.e. pushing a car). Pulling means force from another direction (i.e pulling a car).

as for your question: God invented God

How ironic. You thought you were so superior for ridiculing a perceived Christian stupidity, yet you lacked the intelligence to perceive satire yourself. Showed you didn't it? Try harder next time before you start slagging others off.

Christianity 1
You 0

Intelligent Design and Intelligent Falling are both equally baseless. They are both as ridiculous as the other If Christians can claim one, then claiming the other is not far off.

[Papewaio]

Got to love the Onion.

[Redleg]

D'oh! There's no gravity according to the Evangelical Center for Faith-based Reasoning. It's all about God pushing objects 'down' called the Intelligent Falling Theory.

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity with new "Intelligent Falling" Theory

I have seen the other responses on this thread - but I still must ask this simple question.

Did you allow your baised views concerning Religion and Christianity in particular to lead you to a false conclusion about this article being real and not satire?