The ORG Comedy club

**Silver Rusher** · 08-31-2005, 19:33

Post all your jokes, funny pics, one-liners etc. here! Just as long as they do not involve discrimination, sexual content, foul language or anything else that does not comply with ORG rules. Also, if you take them from books, websites or any other source please give credit.

Here is one of mine:

A burglar decides to find a nice, rich house to rob. He finds one that seems to be quite poorly guarded and climbs through the window, not setting off any alarms or anything. He walks across the floor and hears a voice:

"Jesus is watching you."

So the burglar hears this voice and looks around, becoming more cautious of the situation. He decides that nothing is wrong and decides to go over to the nice looking plasma TV in the corner. Just as he picks it up, he hears the voice again.

"Jesus is watching you."

This makes him really nervous, so he looks around and still can't see anything that could be making the noise. So he says: "Oh no, err, Jesus? Please don't kill me or anything. Just let me have a hi-fi, and then I promise I'll never do it again." But then he hears the same thing again.

"Jesus is watching you."

So, fed up, the burglar gets out his torch and shines it around the room. He shines it on what looks to be an old bird-cage with a parrot inside. Sure enough, the parrot says...

"Jesus is watching you."

This makes the burglar quite relieved, so he says to the parrot... "Oh god, you gave me a real shock. What's your name?"

"Moses."

Surprised, the burglar says: "Huh? What kind of people would call a parrot Moses?"

"The same people who would call a Rottweiler Jesus."

(told to me by a friend of mine)

**Duke Malcolm** · 08-31-2005, 20:06

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

**The Stranger** · 08-31-2005, 20:14

i love lightning, it's my best invention since the rock

**Craterus** · 08-31-2005, 21:19

"Man walks into a bar.

Spoiler Alert, click show to read:

I got blonde jokes, but would that come under discrimination? A lot of good jokes are based around discrimination and sexual content...

**Reverend Joe** · 08-31-2005, 22:48

Originally Posted by Silver Rusher

Just as long as they do not involve discrimination, sexual content, foul language

That discounts every one of my (funny) jokes.

**Somebody Else** · 09-01-2005, 01:56

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

**Axeknight** · 09-04-2005, 00:38

Originally Posted by Silver Rusher

Post all your jokes, funny pics, one-liners etc. here! Just as long as they do not involve discrimination, sexual content, foul language or anything else that does not comply with ORG rules.