Yes, I think you have. This is certainly one of the most intriguing stories I have seen in the Mead Hall.

The addition of paragraphs has much improved readability, but there are still some points were your writing needs to be polished. For example, I initially thought the victim of the end of the fourth paragraph was Draxus (because in a metaphorical sense he threw himself down in front of the Dark One), but it was someone else. At other points, unclarity arose out of complex sentences or wrong translation (howling, not hollowing; revealed, not reviled). Don't be a slave to the spell-checker: it doesn't know what you intend to say.

But otherwise, this is very interesting. Just pay attention to the grammar.

Please, continue!