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Thread: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

  1. #1
    The Dark Knight Member wlesmana's Avatar
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    Default LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!





    Seriously though, I've written semi coherent description info on all my units, but I'm pretty sure the writing is pretty horrid. So I'll need help from a writer to proofread my writing. You can alter stuff if you think it would make the description sounds cooler or more vivid, I'm open to anything and I don't care about adhering to the lore, as long as it sounds cool. Obviously a little understanding on LOTR lore is good but I opted to made up a lot of stuff instead (for instance, saying the cloak of the Fountain Guards were imported silk from Lebennin) just to make the descriptions more fun and diverse. So anyone who wants to dip their pen in the inkpot and help flesh out this mod?

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    Member Member Radier's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Haha!
    I support the Pike and Musket:Total War



    Also Europa Barbarorum supporter!

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    Member Member kingwill's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Uruk-hai



    Uruk-hai literally means 'Orc-people', the mightiest of Orcs. It was Saruman who mastered the creation of Uruk-hai. He bred them in massive numbers in order to assail Rohan in the name of his master Sauron. They rampaged across the wide plains of Rohan destroying settlements and slaughtering all who stood in their way. They were finally defeated and utterly destroyed at Helm's Deep by the men of Rohan and the Ents.



    The Uruk-hai swordsmen are the staple of an Isenguard army, ruthless and strong. They look down upon the other Orcs that serve Saruman and Sauron because unlike the Uruk-hai, lesser Orcs fear the sun.


    Swordsmen of Minas Tirith



    Bedecked in the finest armour Gondor has to offer, the men of Minas Tirith are always vigilant in their duty of protecting the capital of Gondor. The people of Gondor are partly descended from those that escaped the fall of Numenor, making them mighty indeed. If Sauron is to be defeated then the skills and bravery of the swordsmen of Minas Tirith must be taken full advantage of.



    As the first and last defence of the greatest city in Middle Earth, the Swordsmen of Minas Tirith can be expected to hold out against the odds.
    Last edited by kingwill; 09-20-2005 at 15:01.
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    Come to daddy Member Geoffrey S's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Wlesmana: the funniest request for help I've ever seen for a mod! I'd leave those texts in just for the hell of it!
    Kingwill: try to shorten your sentences, and use less commas. Also, it sounds a little dry for a Tolkien-styled mod.
    "The facts of history cannot be purely objective, since they become facts of history only in virtue of the significance attached to them by the historian." E.H. Carr

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    Member Member Radier's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    I think Kingwills descriptions where good...
    I support the Pike and Musket:Total War



    Also Europa Barbarorum supporter!

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    Insanity perhaps is inevitable Member shifty157's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Only problem is that you cant use any of the events in the book/movie because they havent happened yet. (referring to reference about helm's deep)/

  7. #7

    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Then the Uruk-Hai should not exist.

    That's "fewer commas", by the way, not "less".

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    Member Member kingwill's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    I have, a problem, with commas, I have changed the descriptions to rectify a few spelling errors and get rid of most of the commas.
    I don't think that there is any point in not including things that happend in the war of the ring. Anybody who will play the mod will almost certainly already know what happens.
    Apprehension and terror are weak bonds of affection; once break them, and, where fear ends, hatred will begin.

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    Come to daddy Member Geoffrey S's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    NeonGod: hey!
    Kingwill: I agree. As you say players will probably already be familiar with the LotR legacy, and putting the units into some kind of context can't do any harm. And the descriptions are better now, particularly the Gondor one.
    Last edited by Geoffrey S; 09-20-2005 at 15:32.
    "The facts of history cannot be purely objective, since they become facts of history only in virtue of the significance attached to them by the historian." E.H. Carr

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    German Enthusiast Member Alexanderofmacedon's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Urak - Hai

    From the cracks of Isengard these elite soldiers were bred for one thing: The destruction of men. With heavy armor and a black heart, these creatures of Sarumon will destroy the race of men at all costs.


    Gondor

    The finest of men in the best of armor. They will defend there homes with there lives. With superior decipline and excellent weapons, they are the elite of middle earth. Will it be enough to break the lines of Mordor and Isengard?
    Last edited by Alexanderofmacedon; 09-20-2005 at 23:16.


  11. #11
    German Enthusiast Member Alexanderofmacedon's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Okay I edited mine. That's what I came up with.

    P.S - I can probably do better, that took two minutes with a Disturbed full blast on the radio.


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    German Enthusiast Member Alexanderofmacedon's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Okay, did I make it or what? wlesmana, wake up...


  13. #13
    The Dark Knight Member wlesmana's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Yar!
    Um, the desriptions (by both of you) is not extensive enough, like armor, design and historical context. I'd like something like a historical reference by scholars who are living in Middle-earth AT THE TIME. Stating the Uruks got wiped out at Helm's Deep is weird if you're playing them, then read that while conquering Mordor. Historical reference like who, what, where and when are nice, but not their future.

    I guess I didn't make it clear but the mod is set around the time Saruman became his own faction.

  14. #14

    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Uruks: The Uruk-Hai and a war like race bread and raised by Saruman the White in the War of the Ring. These fighting machines are the elite warriors of Isengard and have thick black armour. The Uruks shields are strong and marked with the white hand of Saruman. In the battle of Helms Deep many Uruks were killed by the people of Rohan and they delt respectable damge to the fortress. The Uruk-Hai were also part of the party that attacked the Fellowship at the Falls of Rauros. These tough troops formthe core of the Isengard offensive.

    Gondor: The brave men of Gondor are well disipled in the way of combat but are likley scared by larger foes like trolls and mumkil. There armour is strong and bears the white tree of Gondor on it. The helmets are pointed and are good protection. The troops sucssefully held of the siege of Minas Tirith and help defeat the troops of Mordor at the Black gate with there allies, the people of Rohan. The soldiers of Gondor were also at the battle of Osgiliath were they were brutaly beaten into a retreat by the orcs of Mordor.

    (I can make them more detailed if you want)

    Hope it helps
    Last edited by nic_vee; 09-22-2005 at 09:55.
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  15. #15

    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Oh by the way if u like it i can rite more for u.
    and great work. Cant wait.
    -If you want to critisize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. So when you critisize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

    -A man does not discover new lands without losing sight of the shore.

    Proud Member of the Anti-Jamster Crusade

  16. #16

    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alexanderofmacedon
    Urak - Hai

    From the cracks of Isengard these elite soldiers were bred for one thing: The destruction of men. With heavy armor and a black heart, these creatures of Sarumon will destroy the race of men at all costs.


    Gondor

    The finest of men in the best of armor. They will defend there homes with there lives. With superior decipline and excellent weapons, they are the elite of middle earth. Will it be enough to break the lines of Mordor and Isengard?
    Elite Snevets':

    Grown from bacteria or something the elite snevets are bred for one thing: To detect bad grammar and crappy spelling.

    In short AOM the men of Gondor are required to defend THEIR city with THEIR lives.

    Not to be a ******, just to help...
    Hegemonia Lead Modeller.

  17. #17
    AoM: TW Director Member Lonely Soldier's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Uruk Hai - Bred by Saruman the White at the end of the Third Age, these orcs bred with goblin-men have no fear of the sun, as their lesser kin do. Saruman perfected the breeding of Uruk-Hai which he had learnt under the tutelage of Sauron, making soldiers larger and stronger than any other in Middle-Earth.

    These Uruk swordsmen form the bulk of Saruman's armies, carrying tall shields and heavy, brutish swords, they are able to repel an attack or mount their own with ease. They are also heavily armoured around the head and chest with sharp, angular plates, all blazoned with Sarumans white hand. But their backs are uncovered, making them vulnerable to a fast and wily attack from the rear; a tactic they had to contend with when facing the Rohirrim.

    Uruk-hai are capable of running vast distances without rest, and this applies on the battlefield: an Uruk force can assemble rapidly and with little warning.


    I can't be stuffed doing another for the men of Gondor, but you get the idea, I'm not sure its any better than the others, in fact it probably isn't. I think you'd be better off quoting the book, or the film and then elaborating on the quotes, considering that you obviously aren't concerned about copyright.
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  18. #18
    German Enthusiast Member Alexanderofmacedon's Avatar
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    Default Re: LOTR:TW needs a writer's help!!

    Grown from bacteria or something the elite snevets are bred for one thing: To detect bad grammar and crappy spelling.

    In short AOM the men of Gondor are required to defend THEIR city with THEIR lives.

    Not to be a ******, just to help...
    Eh, I know, but like I said I did it in less than 5 minutes on a Rome: Total War thread. I'm sorry, but I didn't put too much effort into it.

    Oh well, thanks for the help


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