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  1. #1
    Clan Clan InsaneApache's Avatar
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    Default Real answers from Family Fortunes.

    These are bona-fidi answers to a UK quiz show called 'Family Fortunes'

    A word beginning with Z: “Xylophone..”
    A slang word for a girl: “Slag..”
    An animal with horns: “A bee...”
    A medieval weapon: “Hand-grenade..”
    Something made of wool: “A sheep..”
    Something a bridegroom might wear: “A dress..”
    Someone you wouldn’t expect to see in a strip club: “Animals..”
    An animal with a long tail: “A rabbit..”
    Something a train-spotter would have in his pocket: “A magnifying glass..”
    Something you put out for the birds: “Worms..”
    A way to prevent snoring: “Put a pillow over his face..”
    A word used to describe a very hot day: “A very hot day..”
    A song from ‘The Sound Of Music’: “Dancing Queen..”
    (Also from the same family: “I wake up each morning..”, “The skies are blue..”, and “Over the hills and far away..”)
    Someone who works early hours: “A burglar..”
    Something made to be wheeled around: “A hammer..”
    A reason for kneeling: “To be beheaded..”
    A nickname for a slim person: “Slimmy..”
    A measurement of liquid: “Paint..”
    Something that’s nice to wear next to your skin: “Pants..”
    A famous Dick: “Carrot..”
    A wild animal that’s native to Britain: “A bear..”
    Something that Father Christmas does when he comes to your house: “Feeds your pets..”
    Something that comes in 7’s: “Fingers..”
    A vocalist known by only one name: “Michael Jackson..”
    A yellow fruit: “Orange..”
    An animal beginning with B: “Bullfrog..”
    Something associated with Liverpool: “The Yellow Brick Road..”
    A boy mentioned in a nursery rhyme: “Little Red Riding Hood..”
    Something associated with Queen Victoria: “Her husbands..”
    Something you hide in your socks when you go swimming: “Your legs..”
    A place you would keep a pen: “A zoo..”
    Something you beat: “An apple..”
    Something associated with rain: “Water..”
    An animal that lives in the English countryside: “A lion..”
    Something you make into a ball: “Eggs..”
    A game that uses a black ball: “Darts..”
    A popular TV soap: “Dove..”
    Other than ‘carrier’, a type of bag: “Horse..”
    Something you might find in a garage: “a grand piano..”
    Something a Frenchman would say Answer: “On Garde..”
    A fast animal: “A hippo..”
    Something you keep in the garden: “A cat..”
    Something that gives you goosebumps: “Mumps..” A character from Little Red Riding Hood: “Hansel and Gretel..”
    Something that has a shell: “Batman..”
    Any dance apart from the waltz: “The ball dance..”
    Something a policeman might say: “Spread ‘em..”
    Something that frightens Dracula: “The King of the Vampires..”
    A non-living object with legs: “A plant..”
    A sign of the Zodiac: “April..”
    An animal associated with a nursery rhyme: “Andy Pandy..”
    A mode of transport that you can walk in: “Your shoes..”
    An animal with big ears: “A bear..”
    Something you do on water: “Wallpaper..”
    A musical instrument you can play in the bath: “A drum kit..”
    Something associated with Egypt: “Cigars..”
    A part of your body you only have one of: “Your big toe..”
    Something you pull: “A potato..”
    An animal used as a form of transport: “A turtle..”
    A famous Phil or Philip: “Phil Johnson..”
    A habit people try to give up: “Spitting..”
    A Thunderbirds character: “Doctor Spock..”
    Another TV gameshow with the word ‘family’ in the title: “The Generation Game..”
    A seaside resort on the south coast: “ Rio de Janeiro..”
    Something you open other than a door: “Your bowels..”
    Something with a red light on it: “a Dalek..”
    Something that makes you scream: “A squirrel..”
    A food than can easily be eaten without chewing: “Chips..”
    A type of record: “A floppy disk..”
    A type of large cat: “Persian..”
    A job that a working dog does: “A slave..”
    Something people might be allergic to: “Skiing..”
    An occupation where you need a torch: “A burglar..”
    A well known superstition: “Running in front of a car..”
    Something you use a microchip in: “A fish-fryer..”
    A dangerous race: “The Arabs..”
    A game played in the dark: “Charades..”
    Some famous brothers: “Bonnie and Clyde..”
    A jacket potato topping: “Jam..”
    A part of the body you have more than two of: “Arms..”
    Something you find on a fire engine: “Coal..”
    A famous royal: “Mail..”
    Something you do before going to bed: “Sleep..” An item of clothing worn by the Three Muskateers: “A horse..”
    An animal you see at the zoo: “Dog..”
    Something you might do in a power cut: “Read a book..”
    A famous Parisian landmark: “Hawaii..”
    One of Harry Enfield’s characters: “Sooty..”
    A famous Irishman: “Disraeli..”
    The first place detectives look for fingerprints: “The floor..”
    Something you associate with the sea: “A coffin..”
    A famous Arthur: “Shakespeare..”
    A type of cut: “Skull..”
    A weapon in the game of Cluedo: “Dice..”
    Something people take to the beach: “Turkey..”
    A reason someone digs a hole in the road: “Grave digger..”
    An ingredient in chicken stuffing: “Chicken..”
    Something a girl should know about a man before marrying him: “His name..”
    A bird with a long neck: “A blackbird..”
    A bird with a long neck (2): “Naomi Campbell..”
    An item of clothing a woman might borrow from a man: “Underpants..”
    Something taken from a hotel as a souvenir: “The lamps..”
    Something you keep in a garden shed: “A gardener..”
    A song with moon in the title: “Blue Suede Moon..”
    A famous cowboy: “Buck Rogers..”
    A famous Wild-West character: “Wild Bill Eacock..”
    Something you’d associate with the three bears: “Red Riding Hood..”
    Fruit used in fruit salad: “Cucumber..”
    Something you wear on the beach: “A deckchair..”
    A method of cooking fish: “Cod..”
    Something you borrow from your partner: “Shoes..”
    A part of the body beginning with N: “Knee..”
    A famous Scotsman: “Vinnie Jones..”
    A famous Scotsman (2): “Jock..”
    Something red: “My cardigan..”
    A kind of ache: “Fillet-o-fish..”
    Something you open other than a door: “Your bowels..”
    Something with a hole in it: “A window..”
    Something you do in the bathroom: “Decorate..”
    Something you put on walls: “Roofs..”
    A domestic animal: “A leopard..”
    Something that floats in the bath: “Water..”
    Something in the garden that’s green: “The shed..”
    Something a blind man might use: “A sword..”
    The last thing you take off before going to bed: “Your feet..”
    Something that flies without an engine: “A bicycle with wings..

    There are times I wish they’d just ban everything- baccy and beer, burgers and bangers, and all the rest- once and for all. Instead, they creep forward one apparently tiny step at a time. It’s like being executed with a bacon slicer.

    “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.”

    To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticise.

    "The purpose of a university education for Left / Liberals is to attain all the politically correct attitudes towards minorties, and the financial means to live as far away from them as possible."

  2. #2
    Bringing down the vulgaroisie Member King Henry V's Avatar
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    Default Re: Real answers from Family Fortunes.

    Reminds of the Dumb Britain column in Private Eye
    www.thechap.net
    "We were not born into this world to be happy, but to do our duty." Bismarck
    "You can't be a successful Dictator and design women's underclothing. One or the other. Not both." The Right Hon. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
    "Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication" - Lord Byron
    "Where men are forbidden to honour a king they honour millionaires, athletes, or film-stars instead: even famous prostitutes or gangsters. For spiritual nature, like bodily nature, will be served; deny it food and it will gobble poison." - C. S. Lewis

  3. #3
    The Sword of Rome Member Marcellus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Real answers from Family Fortunes.

    Quote Originally Posted by King Henry V
    Reminds of the Dumb Britain column in Private Eye
    Yes, it does.

    It's amazing the answers some people can give. My particular favourite is the medieval weapon question: “Hand-grenade..”.

    Brilliant.
    "Look I’ve got my old pledge card a bit battered and crumpled we said we’d provide more turches churches teachers and we have I can remember when people used to say the Japanese are better than us the Germans are better than us the French are better than us well it’s great to be able to say we’re better than them I think Mr Kennedy well we all congratulate on his baby and the Tories are you remembering what I’m remembering boom and bust negative equity remember Mr Howard I mean are you thinking what I’m thinking I’m remembering it’s all a bit wonky isn’t it?"

    -Wise words from John Prescott

  4. #4
    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Real answers from Family Fortunes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Village Idiot
    Something associated with Egypt: “Cigars..”
    Fine Egyptian tradition that, passed down from the times of the Pharaohs!
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  5. #5
    Not affiliated with Red Dwarf. Member Ianofsmeg16's Avatar
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    Default Re: Real answers from Family Fortunes.

    A yellow fruit: “Orange..”
    Had me on the floor

    To whoever said that...
    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye.
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown,
    The dream is gone.
    I have become comfortably numb...

    Proud Supporter of the Gahzette

  6. #6

    Default Re: Real answers from Family Fortunes.

    A dangerous race:
    the Arabs

    I'm sure I've seen that clip, I wonder if it was actually aired.

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