How would you do it????

**The Stranger** · 09-29-2005, 18:29

how would you get your child back if it got kidnapped...and assume you get your child back (one way or another) and you child has nothing bad (maybe its a bit hungry or a has a small depression) what kinda punishment would you want the person who did it to get...and what would you have them if you get a dead child back

**English assassin** · 09-29-2005, 18:43

I would go to a mountain, and find a mysterious old man, who would be the last surviving practitioner of the art of egg-foo-yung. Over the course of many seasons, the old man would teach me his skills, by painting walls, cleaning windows and standing on one leg in the rain. In one seemingly meaningless incident I would rake the autumn leaves up from the old man's lawn, in the "constipated squirrel" stance

I would then return to the city, wearing black pyjamas, and beat up everyone involved in the kidnap,who would conveniently attack me one at a time, using spectacular and implausibly flashy kicks and jumps. Finally, I would be face to face with the head kidnapper, who happens to have my child tied to a chair in the room. But, alas, the villain's skills would be too much for me. Slowly, inch by inch, I would be beaten backwards. Gasp, a lightning fast kick pushes me through the window, and I fall to the ground outside. The head kidnapper advances on me as I lie in pain, barely able to move while my child watches with horror in his eyes. Surely, my training was for nothing, and I am defeated.

But, wait, what is this lying on the grass next to me? A LAWN RAKE !! As the kidnapper strikes, I seize it, and perform the constipated squirrel move, killing my enemy instantly. I free my delighted child.

Isn't this what everyone would do?

**The Stranger** · 09-29-2005, 18:45

oooow cool

**The Stranger** · 09-29-2005, 18:45

that was actually meant for EngAss

**Meneldil** · 09-29-2005, 18:52

Well, once again, I have to agree with EA here. I'd just put my matrix-like mantle, buy a final fantasy 7-like sword, learn some Jackie Chan-like kung-fu hits and beat the kidnapper in a lord of the ring-like epic fight (with a dark storm over our heads, and possibly being surrounded by fire or lava).