New official language for the EU

[Goofball]

Thought you Euros might be interested in this:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k".
This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with
"z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.

[Ser Clegane]

Thought you Euros might be interested in this:

Zis is so not funi

[Geoffrey S]

Don't a lot of people write like that on the Internet anyway?

[Ianofsmeg16]

lol that made me laugh.......
oh and by the way

We are NOT europeans, We are British!

[Ragnor_Lodbrok]

Sis looks like a German trying to speak English.
Sis is se German English.

[Sjakihata]

We are NOT europeans, We are British!

you are a european, but it might be that you are first and foremost British.

I have seen this or one similar on these forums before, but it's still as funny

[Ianofsmeg16]

you are a european, but it might be that you are first and foremost British.

I have seen this or one similar on these forums before, but it's still as funny

Yeah i said it...i cant remember where though but i keep saying it and have annoyed my history teacher so many times (long story)

[The Stranger]

this sounds like a german trying to speak french...noway i'm speaking this crap...i'm emigrating to africa

[The Stranger]

Thought you Euros might be interested in this:

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.


hahahhahaha did you added that Goofball...

[Goofball]

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.


hahahhahaha did you added that Goofball...

I wish I could take credit for it, because it was very funny, but no, I didn't come up with that...

[Conqueror]

This is really old. I first time saw it like in 2000. Still funny though.

[edyzmedieval]

Zis is za most idiotic zing I hav evar hard of....

Ve vil all be zpeaching frensh lik an englishman.
Zis zuckz my friendz.

Basically, this is how English is heard in Romanian.

[King Henry V]

I read that a couple of years ago in The New New Labour Joke Book. Except the ending was "Zen ze drem vil finaly kom tru".

[Ja'chyra]

Wait, isn't that what some people call American English, if there is such a thing.

[Craterus]

Ve vil all be zpeaching frensh lik an englishman.

Or rather: English like a Frenchman.

At the start, it just looks like AOL language.

[Del Arroyo]

Wait, isn't that what some people call American English, if there is such a thing.

No, American English differs from English English mostly in the increased enunciation of the "r", the decreased enunciation of all other sounds and the reduction of most vowel sounds (especially in words with two or more syllables) to the neutral "-uh-".

For instance-- English = "Pre-si-dent"

American = "PRREZ-uh-duhnt"


English = "How do you do, saaaah?"

American = "Howd'yuh do, srrrrr?"


English = "Dyuuuuuuouououring"

American = "Duh-rrring"


Or something like that....

DA

EDIT: British people also think I'm crazy when I tell them that "gotten" is even a word. It is, you poor, grammatically-truncated souls!!

[Mikeus Caesar]

Don't worry Del, i'm British and believe 'gotten' is a word. It's in a Collins English Dictionary from 1986, therefore it's a word!