£25,000 Joke - Competition

**TonkaToys** · 10-12-2005, 13:52

OK guys and gals, there is a competition to find the best joke running at the moment on a UK radio station; the prize is £25,000.

The best joke (has to be broadcastable on a family radio show) will be judged by Suggs from the band Madness and a UK comedian Vic Reeves.

I say we club together to judge our own best joke and submit it, then share out the cash when we inevitably win

How about the person that submits the joke that we decide is best gets 75% of the prize, and the rest is shared amongst anyone that submitted a joke?

Of course we could just submit every joke - but it is only one per person! Or you could submit your own joke at www.VirginRadio.co.uk

Competition closes on 1st Nov, so we have until 31st October to pick our best joke.

**Alexanderofmacedon** · 10-12-2005, 16:32

Nice...

I wish I lived in the UK...

EDIT: Wait can people that live in the USA still participate? I entered a joke, that I think Brits will like...

**Sjakihata** · 10-12-2005, 16:57

Hey alex, share the joke, dont take it all for yourself, typical american, share it dammit.

**Alexanderofmacedon** · 10-12-2005, 22:21

Ok, I'll share it. Before I do, I want to let anyone with any French in them know that I love the French. I am in French class in school, and I don't have anything against them. This joke is from a friend from England. Of course they are rival nations and so it's against French. Please don't take offence.

I used it only because 25,000 pounds is a lot of money and it's a British radio station. So here goes...

What's 75,000 French men running?

Answer: The French army

**Sjakihata** · 10-12-2005, 23:15

uh do I miss the point completely?

**The Stranger** · 10-13-2005, 13:34

prolly cuz they deserted in ww1 atleast he thinks...LAME JOKE

**Strike For The South** · 10-15-2005, 20:35

Things Texans will never say

I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
Duct tape won't fix that.
Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
Wrestling's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my gut is too big?
I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, we don't need another dog.
Who gives a crap who won the Civil War?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Too many deer heads detract from the decor.
Spittin' is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Checkmate.
She's too young to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
You ALL.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight

**yesdachi** · 10-21-2005, 17:31

Originally Posted by strike for the south

Things Texans will never say...

**yesdachi** · 10-25-2005, 18:40

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. I chose the shortest line... just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated. He Asked the teller, "Why it change? Yestoday I get two hunat dolla fo yen.
Today I get hunat eighty?" The teller says, "Fluctuations." The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!

**TonkaToys** · 10-26-2005, 08:36

Originally Posted by yesdachi

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. I chose the shortest line... just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated. He Asked the teller, "Why it change? Yestoday I get two hunat dolla fo yen.
Today I get hunat eighty?" The teller says, "Fluctuations." The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!

...made me laugh anyway.

Well we didn't get a great bunch of jokes, but we have until Friday to submit one, so keep them coming.

**Shaka_Khan** · 10-26-2005, 09:21

Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To get to the other side.
_________________________________

Why is ten afraid of seven?
-Because seven eight nine.
_________________________________

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Boo."
"Boo who?"
"Don't cry."
_________________________________

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orange."
"Orange who?"
"Orange you glad to see me?"
_________________________________

"Knock Knock!"
"Doris."
"Doris, who?"
"Doris locked, that's why I had to knock!"
_________________________________

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"I love."
"I love who?"
"I don't know, you tell me!"
_________________________________

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Who."
"Who who?"
"Is there an owl in here?"
_________________________________

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Hawaii."
"Hawaii who?"
"I'm fine, Hawaii you?"
_________________________________

"Knock Knock! "
"Who's there?"
"Police."
"Police who?"
"Police let us in; it's cold out here."
______________________________

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Yo momma."
"Yo momma, who?"
"Seriously, it's yo momma, open the damned door!"

They bring back happy memories.