Good pieces of advice you've heard

[Uesugi Kenshin]

.....unless you have a truck.

[Mouzafphaerre]

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Advice is good but proverbs are better; Chinese proverbs are the best:

• "When your compass says one thing and your map another, either your compass is broken or your map is wrong."
• "When the bear breathes deep, the rabbit gets cold."
• "Small feet never use big gloves."
• "A high tower is a low hill."
• "A leaf in the stream is like a dead fish in your kettle."
• "If your map says thay you're on the mountain over there, then you're lost."
• "Raise a wall and your trees will shine under the sun."
• "Your home isn't your pit."
• "A duck is a duck, but the fowl doesn't know."
• "Rain on your hat is like stones on the mountain."
• "If you walk West, nobody in the North will tell."
• "Over there always means up there."
• "Sing like a bird, sleep like a tiger, eat like a bear."
• "Man who gets laid in strawberry patch has ass in jam."
• "Man who get laid on hillside is not on level."
• "Man who is able to read this is able to read."
• "It should not be forgotten that being healthy is essentially better than being unhealthy."
• "He who looks at the sun in the day will have his eyes dazzled; he who looks at the sun at night is having an illusion."
• "In a conflict, it's better to be the winner than the loser."
• "A dead wolf is not afraid of a donkey."

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Especially when they are fake and quite a few of them made up my myself.

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[GoreBag]

What? Small feet don't use any gloves!

I always liked "He who stands on the highest pyramid of skulls sees farthest".

[yesdachi]

The best defense is a good offence.


Think before you speak. (I usually get this one mixed around )


I sat on the table part of my aunt’s picnic table once and she smacked me in the back of my head so hard I thought I saw Jesus, then told me that “Tables are for glasses, not asses.”

[Togakure]

I'm not very good at keeping my own advice: avoid offering unsolicited advice. Furthermore, be especially careful if you choose to offer advice to a friend who asks for it.

[Drisos]

I get good advice frequently from TogakureOJonin

One of the best I remember was: 'Have fun!'. That was before my first match in a stw mp tournament.

[jimmyM]

Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear.

Never use a girls' iron defeciency as a basis for conversation, no matter how much you want to carry on talking...

[master of the puppets]

if you smell bacon, run to it or else it will dissapear, especcially if you have a family.

the farther you wade into the river of blood the closer you come to god-said by some crusader.

[Kagemusha]

If you cant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

[Kääpäkorven Konsuli]

All humans are potential enemies.

[Craterus]

Don't trust anyone.

Run for the hills!!!!

[Mouzafphaerre]

All humans are potential enemies.

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All enemies are potential humans.

Reminds something Big John once had in his sig: "Mother is the necessity of invention."
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[Kaiser of Arabia]

He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
-Nietzsche

Beware of dissipating your powers; strive constantly to concentrate them. Genius thinks it can do whatever it sees others doing, but is sure to repent of every ill-judged outlay.
-Goethe

Judge of a man by his questions rather than by his answers.
-Voltaire

The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson

The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.
-Friedrich Nietzsche

[Ianofsmeg16]

Never listen to, Everything I do, I do it for you by Bryan Adams when you are having girl trouble. Not a good idea, speaking from experience. Listen to She hates me by Puddle of Mudd instead

[Ludens]

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."
-Oscar Wilde

[Mouzafphaerre]

"I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself."
-Oscar Wilde

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[octavian]

"Always say yes to your wife, but always do what you want."

unless she asks "does this make me look fat?"

[octavian]

never use hatchet to remove fly from friends forehead