Civil War, Spies, and a happy medium

[Grond]

Ah, no pictures, but if you can visualize my pale little states: England (sans Northumberland), Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Saxonia, Flanders, and those two southernmost french coastland provences, and Sicily. Spain has, well, Spain, and north africa, and Egypt seems to be all over the south east, into Hungary. French fragmented states to either side of the HRE and traditional France, and throw in some Spanish in France in a mockery of what'll happen 300 years hence, in King Phillip's unhappy attempts to make the lowlands reCatholisize themselves.

The pope is doing pope things, excommunicating, communicating, and every so often doing robber baron stuff when he thinks everyone else isn't looking. The Italians used to be something, until they were chased off by France onto some miserable island. They've been rumbling about making prosciutto out of the French, but with no ships and no trade, they're pazzino.

Sicily! Wherefore, you ask, Sicily? It was in rebellion, so I bought it at a used-province sale where citibank (who owns everything) was letting it go for pence on the florin. It was a good deal, and it is the shipbuilding capitol of all of Europe. Dozens of Caravels are sent out for purposes of Pax Danum.

Lately, I've been eyeing Finland. Not too fast, they advise Snorri, don't spread yourself too thin, as if a Monarch's reach could be compared to some Napoleanic fake butter being applied to a piece of blackened bread. (Don't eat the crusts, they're unhealthy, you know.) But I think, with some of these loyal archers, Finland, and that happy vacation spot Livenia (it's in all the brochures circulating around the palace these days) might be in the assets column for Snorri pretty soon. "Hides," said old Gaffer Svenbjotm, to Snorri, when he was just a little viking and his horns had barely budded from his forehead, "there's always a future in animal hides. When the Khan comes, he'll need boots, so you'll want the animal hides futures, my boy." God bless Svenbjotm, he was right. And Snorri needs to make sure the Italian boot makers have lots of hides. Right now, Finland is a mess, with lots of cheap peasant armies sitting about distilling vodka and playing Russian Pictionary. Have you ever seen Russian Pictionary?

And the good part of all this, the disloyal son, Prince Sven? He's turning out okay. After a battle or three, beating up peasants in some disloyal French former possesion, he's showing signs of becoming a good leader. With Snorri's raise in influence amongst the autocrats of old Europe, it may be I can get Sven married off to someone who won't mind that he wants to bugger little boys all the time. (And you know, maybe with a princess who has an open mind about these things, he could just, um, vary his position a little and get the same results. Really, all he has to do is get the girl pregnant every 10 months and bugger the rest of the time. This could be the dawning of a new wave of thought in Europe if we could get the priesthood on board with it.) In the New Snorri Timeline, he isn't the snotty rebellious little miserable spoiled traitorous sod that he was in the Old Snorri Timeline. Even if he can't marry a foreign girl, maybe he can (shudder) have one of those useless princesses. Incest, O the humanity, indeed.

No screenshots were taken, nor do I have access to the internet from home, where my window to King Snorri resides, so no screenshots to bask in the great glory of Daneland 4ever, etc. I apologize that this may be disappointing.