so what "bartix" and what faction replaces armenia go then?!!

[Abokasee]

tell what bartix and the faction that replaces armenia got then??

[jerby]

bartix?

[The Wizard]

What, where, who, when and how?



~Wiz

[eadingas]

Yes.

[Teleklos Archelaou]

Possible nomination for "post of the year" for this initial post?

[Ranika]

What the hell? The innate non-sensical glee of this makes me afraid. But my constant desire to be helpful means I have to answer a question. Because this makes no sense, I'll instead answer the question "What is the history of the zipper?"

The zipper had numerous 'inventors', the first of which was Elias Howe, who invented the sewing machine, and received a patent in 1851 for an 'Automatic, Continuous Clothing Closure.' Perhaps it was the success of his sewing machine which caused Elias not to pursue marketing his clothing closure.

In 1895, Mr. Whitcomb Judson (who also invented the 'Pneumatic Street Railway') marketed a 'Clasp Locker' a device similar to the 1851 Howe patent. Being first to market gave Whitcomb the credit of being the 'Inventor of the Zipper', However, his 1893 patent did not use the word zipper. The Chicago inventor's 'Clasp Locker' was a complicated hook-and-eye shoe fastener. Together with businessman Colonel Lewis Walker, Whitcomb launched the Universal Fastener Company to manufacture the new device. The clasp locker had its public debut at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and met with little commercial success.

Swedish-born (who later immigrated to Canada), Gideon Sundback, an electrical engineer, was hired to work for the Universal Fastener Company. Good design skills and a marriage to the plant-manager's daughter Elvira Aronson led Sundback to the position of head designer at Universal. He was responsible for improving the far from perfect 'Judson C-curity Fastener.' Unfortunately, Sundback's wife died in 1911. The grieving husband busied himself at the design table and by December of 1913, he had designed the modern zipper. Gideon Sundback increased the number of fastening elements from four per inch to ten or eleven, had two facing-rows of teeth that pulled into a single piece by the slider, and increased the opening for the teeth guided by the slider. The patent for the 'Separable Fastener' was issued in 1917. Sundback also created the manufacturing machine for the new zipper. The 'S-L' or scrapless machine took a special Y-shaped wire and cut scoops from it, then punched the scoop dimple and nib, and clamped each scoop on a cloth tape to produce a continuous zipper chain. Within the first year of operation, Sundback's zipper-making machinery was producing a few hundred feet of fastener per day.

The popular 'zipper' name came from the B. F. Goodrich Company, when they decided to use Gideon's fastener on a new type of galoshes and renamed the device the zipper, the name that lasted. Boots and tobacco pouches with a zippered closure were the two chief uses of the zipper during its early years. It took twenty more years to convince the fashion industry to seriously promote the novel closure on garments.

In the 1930’s, a sales campaign began for children's clothing featuring zippers. The campaign praised zippers for promoting self-reliance in young children by making it possible for them to dress in self-help clothing. The zipper beat the button in the 1937 in the "Battle of the Fly," when French fashion designers raved over zippers in men's trousers. Esquire magazine declared the zipper the "Newest Tailoring Idea for Men" and among the zippered fly's many virtues was that it would exclude "The Possibility of Unintentional and Embarrassing Disarray."

The next big boost for the zipper came when zippers could open on both ends, as on jackets. Despite the limited successes, the amount of products with the zipper being produced weren't exactly vast. The United States Navy, however, placed an order for several thousand of the items, to be tailored onto certain uniforms, for interior pockets, trousers, and as the main closure for overcoats. This greatly enhanced the popularity of the zipper via footage of the events of World War 2, and the zipper subsequently became the main fixture on most articles of men's clothing.

[eadingas]

You forgot the part where japanese called Tadao Yoshida established a company called Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha, and started mass producing zippers all over the world, hence the letters "YKK" on vast majority of quality zipperware.

[Ranika]

Yeah, I missed a lot. I mostly cannibalized random online factoids, added a few bits here and there. I could've written something better from memory, but I refuse to waste the brain cells making a bad joke about the friggin zipper. I was going to follow more past the WW2 era, when the zipper caught on big, but, really, I was tired of the joke three paragraphs earlier. I must say though, this condescention is kind of fun. Something I don't normally engage in. ...But, damn, it was so easy. I mean, I try to be mindful and respectful. But...come on.

[eadingas]

Also it shows just what kind of knowledge the EB team posessess :) WE KNOW ALL :D

[Ranika]

Yes, fear our clothing closure knowledge skills! EB will be able to tout having the most accurate buttons, clasps, pins, ties, and belts of any mod! The entire mod can center around getting your general out of bed and getting him dressed for various events, such as battle, feasts, diplomatic sessions, and ceremonies.

Knowing everything doesn't seem to be that cool. Just look at that shit on the zipper. Mary of mercy, that junk is boring. Yet I feel strangely compelled to write an actual diatribe on the zipper from memory, as I could probably do one more accurately. But screw that. Man that stuff sucks. All knowledge includes huge amounts of remarkably boring slop. Assume we do know all of human history. We must be superhuman to not be bored to death. For every cool event and invention, there are a trillion remarkably boring ones. More than being a sign of our knowledge, it is a sign of our mental fortitude.

[jerby]

I think im gonna quote him in my sig...

[alman7272]

Baktria does not replace Armenia, but Numidia.

[Ranika]

Is that what he's asking about? Seriously, I'm horridly confused by his query. I don't recall anyone ever mentioning a removal of Armenia, and Bartix is a Gallic name. I thought maybe he was talking about Galatians maybe, since they inhabited the same general area. Though, I still don't get his question, and I think something is left unanswered, but I really can't tell what. Plus all those smilies scare me.

[alman7272]

I don't know, but I figured that by "bartix" he meant Baktria, which is the only "new" faction I've heard of.

[Abokasee]

f**king hell are you all 20 watt light bulbs this is what i mean

what units do bartix have

and what ever faction replaces armenia what units do they have???

[khelvan]

f**king hell are you all 20 watt light bulbs this is what i mean

I like cheese.

[The samnite]

f**king hell are you all 20 watt light bulbs this is what i mean

I prefer to refer to myself as a '40 watt' light bulb if you don't mind.

[GoreBag]

I like cheese.

Mm. Most cheeses do not compare to the mighty curd, however.

[Big_John]

BEST THREAD EVAR!!!


seriously khelvan.. what units does bartix have? and since armenia is NOT being remeoved from EB, what faction is replacing them? the people of "PLANET EARTH" need to know. can we have a bartix preview this friday?

[khelvan]

I am afraid I cannot reveal such sensitive information. Anyone who does will be forced to zipper his pants while not wearing underwear.

[Colovion]

bring us poutine in historical clarity

woe to thee you who usurpe the greatness of moulded lactose with thy claims of intolerance

you bigots against cheese, I despise thee

[Big_John]

what, there are no women on the EB team? meh.. sexelitismatismistness.

[Ellesthyan]

f**king hell are you all 20 watt light bulbs this is what i mean

what units do bartix have

and what ever faction replaces armenia what units do they have???

"Dear lord, sirs, I fear you've got an IQ far below average, since my question was quite clear. As I still desire an answer, I will take the liberty to restate my question in slightly different wordings, that might make it a little easier to understand.

What is the amount of units that Bartix has, and of what kind will they be?
And my second question regarding the faction that replaces Armenia: which nation or state will it represent, and how many and which units will it support?

To strengthen the fact that I am extremely confused and that I desire a appropiate answer as fast as reasonably may be possible, I will add a few little drawings, representing two faces in confusing, and twenty-one faces astride a toyhorse charging at an imaginairy enemy."

My lord, I have translated this encoded, barbarian message sent to us by St0p1d L33t of the Brainless people of the Moronic Pits. Since this work has taken slightly longer than the five minutes I was expecting, to be precise, at least three weeks, I hope Your Highness will not forget to, in his holy goodness, leave a little gift to my unworthy House.
In less good news, I fear I will be disabled from further translating work, after this hard and mindgobbling piece, for at least a few months. As I have included the original message, I dare say Your Higness will recognise my need and will not, in his holy justice, bestow my unworthy soul with punishment far beyond my wildest dreams, as is usual for incompetent translators.

With a most humble greeting,
Ellesthyan, translator to the Royal Court

[GoreBag]

bring us poutine in historical clarity

woe to thee you who usurpe the greatness of moulded lactose with thy claims of intolerance

you bigots against cheese, I despise thee

Actually, real poutine is basically boiled potatoes. You can buy it in cans down east. The Outaouais poutine, albeit a bastardization, is incredibly tasty, though.

[TheTank]

Abokasee I don't believe your are from planet earth.
I think you are from mars or better from Uranus ........
When does the Uranian invasion start ?!!...........

[Colovion]

Actually, real poutine is basically boiled potatoes. You can buy it in cans down east. The Outaouais poutine, albeit a bastardization, is incredibly tasty, though.

but still, they're two strands from a similar cause

Poutine râpée, an Acadian tradition, is similar to German Klöße; composed of "a ball of grated and mashed potato, salted, filled with pork in the centre, and boiled" - wiki

they all have one thing in common, the delight of potato consumption

[sharrukin]

Attempting to translate!

We have a clinic, we have a Polish race car driver, we have a supply company and we have a random invented word!

I am guessing the clinic for obvious reasons, and if you came from a town called Ypsilanti and Michigan you might have some issues as well. He could be from Uranus but isn't Michigan also a possibility! Perhaps a Polish race car drive from Michigan and we are just being insensitive.

Bartix clinic in ypsilanti, michigan

Bartix Supply Technology Inc 15040 W 52nd Ave Golden, CO

Ranking; 63 Bartix T wroclaw (Poland) 21:59.69 Peugeot 206

Gartix

Random word invented circa 2002 by sravan. There are several variations: gartix fartix kabartix nartix bartix, etc..

sravan: gartix
Eagle7186: kabartix

[GoreBag]

but still, they're two strands from a similar cause

Poutine râpée, an Acadian tradition, is similar to German Klöße; composed of "a ball of grated and mashed potato, salted, filled with pork in the centre, and boiled" - wiki

they all have one thing in common, the delight of potato consumption

Ha! No, I would say that the Acadian poutine's existence is a direct corelation to lack of money.

A little farther west, we pay great money to clog our arteries with the stuff. I would say that the cheese and gravy are what makes poutine, though, not potatoes.

[The_Mark]

Honorable TheTank, thou shalt not embolden offensive yet quite thoroughly descriptive letters hidden within nouns, lest the Uranians would enforce thou to snuff it.

And if our Royal Court does not deliver a hastied, imaginative response encoded in the 1337-Uranian language (as you understand, this information is too sensitive to be relayed in a language understood by the general public) to the Urinean embassador (Greatly honored Abokasee, currently situated on Tellus) within a fortnight from the arrival of the initial message, the Uranian invasion might not be so far away after all. With our best translator being exhausted from his last, horrendous effort, we fear that the deadline is too near.

Yours sincerely, The_Mark, apprentice 1337-Uranian translator, Royal Court of Europa Barbarorum

[Colovion]

I think of poutine as the Outaouais curd-laden meal

I'm going to have to go and have some tonight I think.

mmmm