Tell us how did you first meet your girlfriend/wife

[Divinus Arma]

Looking on the bright side you should be able to make some pretty major improvements in your technique quite easily...

Edited because it was construed by Byzantine Prince as an insult and he blew his moderator whistle.

When I was a eager teeny-bopper I couldn't get enough of any half-way attractive girl, whether they liked me or not! I used to pace my bedroom at night as a kid thinking how I would ask this girl or that girl out without looking like I complete doof. Ahhh, being a kid! No mortgage. No career. Just girls, video games, and the summer sun...

Which makes this post kind of irrelevant: This is not meant to be an insult, just an observation. They're far more understanding of that kind of thing in Canada anyway aren't they?

[yesdachi]

No mortgage. No career. Just girls, video games, and the summer sun...

As for how I conquered my wife. I was working as a busboy in a restaurant and my future wife came in with a friend, I shook my ass a little extra for them and she left her number on the table for me. I called her a while later and have been together ever since, that was 16 years ago.

[Byzantine Prince]

*sigh* Alright you got me Divinus. That is a very smart way to insult someone and making it seem like it's just a friendly inference.
Your post has been reported and you will soon be banned by BKS.

[Templar Knight]

Met mine in a nightclub, she came up and started chatting. I didnt think she would be interested so I went off and got a pint However my observations proved wrong as she phoned me up and asked me out a couple of days later. She done all the hard work

[lancelot]

*sigh* Alright you got me Divinus. That is a very smart way to insult someone and making it seem like it's just a friendly inference.
Your post has been reported and you will soon be banned by BKS.

You infered it as an insult, thats your beef really...

He's probably just gay and lost. Ony a sexually-confused teen virgin would tell an interested girl to bugger off.

This doesnt strike me as an insult. If anything, it seems like an accurate description of what many/most teens can/do go through.

[Shaka_Khan]

*sigh* Alright you got me Divinus. That is a very smart way to insult someone and making it seem like it's just a friendly inference.
Your post has been reported and you will soon be banned by BKS.

Drumroll!

Its a curious thing, but whereas men tend to talk about actual things (I don't recommend killing though) girls tend to talk just to make noise while they are having emotions...

Spammers?

...And BTW, all of you who like fake jugs are insane or inexperienced. I prefer smaller elasticity au natural over giant rock-hard bags any day of the week.

Totally unrelated, but I thought I would throw that out there anyhow.

Please elaborate.

[Divinus Arma]

Please elaborate.

The day that you attempt to intimately enjoy a pair of massive fakies is the day that you will remember the name Divinus Arma. As you attempt your normal routine of, erm, uh, "manipulation" , you will realize that said manipulation is not possible.

They look very nice, but are distractingly firm. Of course, this is Saline I am talking about. It's basically a very full bag of saltwater.

I hear silicone is much closer to the real thing, but it is dangerous. I believe that silicone is banned in the United States.

Tell you what... go get a plastic ziploc sandwich bag and fill it with water as much as possible. I mean as MUCH as possible. Now zip it, and wrap the whole thing 50 times over with scotch tape; to the point where the bag won't burst if you squeeze it. Now, imagine that firmness with human skin on the outside. Blah. or Gah.

The jiggliness is more valuable then you may ever realize. I prefer 'A' cup real ones to 'd' cup fakies any day of the week and twice on sunday.

[Tricon]

I met my wife at a LARP (Live Action Role Playing- for you non geeks). I was a NPC Viking-Yarl, she a serving wench. She caught my eye imediately, but the story kept me from the inn for the entire three days (and demanded that I bedded a noblewoman - who to my delight took that literally).
Anyway, there was a camera crew there (films & art students), and they filmed the entire event. Great shots.. but the plot was unrecognizable, so the decided to have a major NPC narate the story. That turned out to be me.
Appearing at the LARP-organizers house (3 weeks later) it so happens that the serving wench is his sister. Not that it mattered to me, because I still had a thing with a certain noblewoman, and she (the wench) a jellous former boyfriend who behaved like... just that.
... Weeks pass. I had to stay in Berlin, Germany, for a couple of months. I had to return a week early because I strained my back and couldn't walk.
On the third day home, sometime around 10 pm, my dorbell rings and (cursing like a mine worker- because of the pain and the humbling bend over position I had to open the door with) I open, and the wench walks by me and leads me back to my bed (I kid you not). We talked for hours. Like the fool I am, I was doing everything in my power to convince her that I'm not a good guy to be around with (having still a certain noblewoman in mind). Well... Err.... She didn't listen.
When she left, she gave me a rather passionate kiss, to which I responded in kind. I still remember as the door closed that I was rather furious in an odd, pleased kind of way how this could have happened.
Anyway, within three weeks all of my defenses were shattered. Another couple of weeks and i was madly in love. After three months I knew we would get married one day. That was six years ago, we've been married for four-and I love her madly.
What's not to love about a fun loving gamer girl, who's also into metall?

So: Gamers, girls/women like that are definately out there, but they have to meet you in order to get to know you.

[yesdachi]

Anyway, there was a camera crew there, and they filmed the entire event.

How about that "bedded a noblewoman part"? He He

[Tricon]

How about that "bedded a noblewoman part"? He He

Well, er. No. Not THAT event.

[English assassin]

Well so far only me and DA actually seem to have had to make the running, everyone else has them falling into your pockets (even BP, although he then tells them to bugger off).

DAMN this club foot and hunchback.

[master of the puppets]

...girls hate me, i can be friends but since i have no senses for other peoples feelings until they punch me then i don't know what to do. it really makes me hate myself sometimes, hmmm mabey if i did'nt talk about killing so much, BUT I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT

[English assassin]

Its a curious thing, but whereas men tend to talk about actual things (I don't recommend killing though) girls tend to talk just to make noise while they are having emotions.

(I know this is an outrageous generalisation and apologies to all of you whose sisters are nuclear physicists, also to prole should she lurk this way.)

What I am saying is you don't actually need to have very much to talk about to talk to girls. The conversation isn't about exchanging facts its about seeing what you are like (hopefully, funny, that's always the winner.)

[Proletariat]

:chucks her earrings at EA:

That's really true. None of us care about the content of what you have to say. It's the way it's said that matters. Chemistry is what's important, that's why making us laugh is alot more effective than just agreeing with us on everything.

[yesdachi]

...girls tend to talk just to make noise while they are having emotions.

I have discovered a deflection technique that seems to work well. When it starts I listen for a while (so it seems I care) then throw in a sentence like “Oh, I bet your sister laughed at that. What you didn’t tell her?” then she picks up the phone and I play MTW.

[Tricon]

Well so far only me and DA actually seem to have had to make the running, everyone else has them falling into your pockets

That's because I'm not talking about all the errors and all the times I made a total fool of myself.
->Trial and error.
It's the truth.