A book im writing

[The Stranger]

id like to see your thoughts, i cant post any examples since its dutch and my lack of great english words will turn it into a stupid story.

its about a guy in a city called Occultia (i might change the name) the guy is name James. hell wake up one day with a headache cuz he drank to much. he goes to a pub and chats up with some ladies, when he goes home he gets the feeling of being followed. he decides to take a different way. but he blacks out. when he wakes up again he again has a headache. too much beer he thinks. etc

he becomes a assassin, for a violent triade that wants to run the city. hell meet a lady that he wants to settle with and he tries to get out of his deal with the triade, that will get some bloody scenes. and on the end the lady turns out to be... (i wont tell )

[Ludens]

I always like a dark setting, so that's good. But a contract killer that wants to leave but cannot is rather a cliché.

To give a further opinion, I need to know more of the plot.

[The Stranger]

yeah thought so that it was cliche,,,i want to change that, though ill do it when i get to that point

[master of the puppets]

try to make the reason for his betrayle not so predictable, oh no i don't want so kill anymore boo-hoo blah blah blah, use something that would be off the beaten path in that account.