21 Denarii?...Yer 'avin' a larf!

[Tora]

A Roxalani diplomat arrived at my Sassanid court, no doubt sensing an imminent invasion, and made a speech about honoured brethren.....never draw swords against each other...blah, blah..then proceeded to offer me the princely sum of 21 denarii in exchange for my agreement.

Naturally I attacked the first Roxolani army I came across.

Anyone been made a more derisory offer than this?

[Ragnor_Lodbrok]

West Roman Empire Rebels wanted 5 settlements and 80000 denari in exchange for a ceasefire agreement.
I punished them properly.

[dismal]

A Roxalani diplomat arrived at my Sassanid court, no doubt sensing an imminent invasion, and made a speech about honoured brethren.....never draw swords against each other...blah, blah..then proceeded to offer me the princely sum of 21 denarii in exchange for my agreement.

Naturally I attacked the first Roxolani army I came across.

Anyone been made a more derisory offer than this?

Not sure it's derisory, but I have had numerous:

Their demands: "Please do not attack"

Their offers: "Accept or we will attack"

proposals.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Don't make fun of the poor guy, that was his months pay!

[Conqueror]

I settled my Sarmatian horde in Spain (yes, I know they're not "supposed" to go there, but who cares) and since I wanted to build up my economy, I sent a diplo to offer trade rights to the Berbers (just trade rights, no other stuff). Their reply was something to the effect of "we have no time to waste listening to your tiresome babbe". Of corse, my people's honor could not bear such insults, so I invaded North Africa with a policy of exterminating all defeated Berber settlements (it took me a long time to launch the invasion though, as all my Horde units had settled and I had to build infrastructure to get actual units).

[Alexanderofmacedon]

I was doing a Carthaginian campaign and a Parthian diplomat was in spain. I tried to get trade rights and alliance, but he said no. He said give all my settlements and 200,000 denarii or else they would attack.

No one insults me so I gathered 4 full stacks of troops and marched on their capitol. I had 3 when I got there all the way across the map, but it was worth it...

My empire was kind of split though...

[The Stranger]

i bought myself 5 protectorates when playing as sassanids. my empire might have looked not so big but it actually stretched from brittannia till india (end of map) my real protectorates were WRR ERR ERE and the berbers. and i owned the entire WRE economy by funds. the only reason they could maintain and eventually expand their empire was due my funds and my armies that exterminated the huns in 3 major battles.

Their demands: "Please do not attack"

Their offers: "Accept or we will attack"

proposals.

i also had numerous of these

and numerous of i dont want to hear you babbling. ive had crazy proposals like give me 900000 and 5 cities for a ceasefire and bladibladibla

[Rodion Romanovich]

Not sure it's derisory, but I have had numerous:

Their demands: "Please do not attack"

Their offers: "Accept or we will attack"

proposals.

Yeah, I also get that often... I also get a conversation like this:

Their demands: 10000 denarii
Their offers: Ceasefire

I click counter-offer and choose:

Your demands: -
Your offers: Ceasefire

Their reply:
"End the fighting? This is a good joke!"

eh...? Wasn't ceasefire what YOU just asked for, I just changed the terms? I can understand if you don't like the terms, but you thinking the ceasefire in itself is a good joke seems like a contradiction...

[Ziaelas]

Yeah, I also get that often... I also get a conversation like this:

Their demands: 10000 denarii
Their offers: Ceasefire

I click counter-offer and choose:

Your demands: -
Your offers: Ceasefire

Their reply:
"End the fighting? This is a good joke!"

eh...? Wasn't ceasefire what YOU just asked for, I just changed the terms? I can understand if you don't like the terms, but you thinking the ceasefire in itself is a good joke seems like a contradiction...

But they think they will be getting money from you because you want a ceasefire, so they hold out longer. It's a little bit like selling something you don't want. You don't want it, so getting rid of it is good, but you want to get money for it, so if someone offered to take it off your hands, you'd decline and hold out til they paid you some good coin for it.

[professorspatula]

I find you can get into a kind of 'Offer Ceasefire, get a ceasefire, then be attacked again' loop with the AI. If a faction is hanging on to their last settlement or are weak, they'll often agree to a ceasefire and hand over money (being glad to end the war), only to declare war immediately, but agree to a ceasefire the next turn again, then declare war.... etc... etc. It's one way to bankrupt the idiots and bring them to their knees.

[Kaldhore]

I just got the Saxons down to one village - Had 2 stacks in that teritory 2 spys in the village and a fleet in their harbour. I also had damaged every building in there village with my Assasin.

I demanded they become a protectorate.

There response (several times) was - " We have nothing to offer in return " ....

[PseRamesses]

Anyone been made a more derisory offer than this?

Trying to exchange maps, no money involved, with Gaul in RTW 1.3 I got this:
Map exchange plus 5X1.100 dinarii!!!!! So I pocketed the money thinking they must like me, he he! Next turn they attack me and I sent a diplomat with a threat+CF agreement and they became my protectorate. No battle, not a single arrow fired. Neat huh?!

[Conqueror]

Trying to exchange maps, no money involved, with Gaul in RTW 1.3 I got this:
Map exchange plus 5X1.100 dinarii!!!!! So I pocketed the money thinking they must like me, he he! Next turn they attack me and I sent a diplomat with a threat+CF agreement and they became my protectorate. No battle, not a single arrow fired. Neat huh?!

Dumbassix: Hey Chiefix! Guess what! I just bought this "special offer" map from a friendly diplomat who just dropped by our town. Great deal, only 5500! Only, we don't have that much in treasure, but the guy was nice enough to mark it as debt.
Chiefix: ...You did WHAT?!?
Dumbassix: Now now, I know that I'm supposed to let you handle the money, but this offer was just too good to pass! We couldn't have let Pissix of the west village get his hands on this limited edition map. Oh, just look how nice map this is, fancy colors and all. And it even has these little boars and lions and elephants painted on it, see?
Chiefix: ....!
Dumbassix: Oh and I almost forgot, I also let the guy have our map, you know, to make up for the debt arrangement. He liked it too, he was laughing so merrily on his way back to his homeland. I bet he'll be back with more offers for good customers like us!
Chiefix: You idiotix! You just spend two year's tax money on a piece of paper drawn by some punix monkey. Now I'll have to send your brother Moronix on a mission to get back our money. Now get out of my sight!

Chiefix: Hey Moronix, your brother got us screwed again! Get some warbands and go get our money back from that vile salesman. And don't let him confuse you with his words.
Moronix: Sure thing Chiefix, you can count on me!

Later...

Moronix: Um, Chiefix, about that mission...
Chiefix: Yes?
Moronix: Well, they said that a deal's a deal, and that they'd now have to confiscate our lands because we can't pay. I didn't believe it at first but they showed me the contract papyrus with all the fine-scribed clauses, and it looked real to me. So now they own us, I think...
Chiefix: ...WHY gods!? ...Just WHY do I have to be surrounded by such imbecilix!?

[PseRamesses]

Dumbassix: Hey Chiefix! Guess what! I just bought this "special offer" map from a friendly diplomat who just dropped by our town. Great deal, only 5500! Only, we don't have that much in treasure, but the guy was nice enough to mark it as debt.
Chiefix: ...You did WHAT?!?
Dumbassix: Now now, I know that I'm supposed to let you handle the money, but this offer was just too good to pass! We couldn't have let Pissix of the west village get his hands on this limited edition map. Oh, just look how nice map this is, fancy colors and all. And it even has these little boars and lions and elephants painted on it, see?
Chiefix: ....!
Dumbassix: Oh and I almost forgot, I also let the guy have our map, you know, to make up for the debt arrangement. He liked it too, he was laughing so merrily on his way back to his homeland. I bet he'll be back with more offers for good customers like us!
Chiefix: You idiotix! You just spend two year's tax money on a piece of paper drawn by some punix monkey. Now I'll have to send your brother Moronix on a mission to get back our money. Now get out of my sight!

Chiefix: Hey Moronix, your brother got us screwed again! Get some warbands and go get our money back from that vile salesman. And don't let him confuse you with his words.
Moronix: Sure thing Chiefix, you can count on me!

Later...

Moronix: Um, Chiefix, about that mission...

Chiefix: Yes?
Moronix: Well, they said that a deal's a deal, and that they'd now have to confiscate our lands because we can't pay. I didn't believe it at first but they showed me the contract papyrus with all the fine-scribed clauses, and it looked real to me. So now they own us, I think...
Chiefix: ...WHY gods!? ...Just WHY do I have to be surrounded by such imbecilix!?

OMG!!!! I´m laughing my ass off here, this is hilarious!!! Thx m8! You should do this for a living - outstanding work!

[djashburnmn]

wierdest thing i've ever gotten (besides "accept or we will attack" and "please dont attack") has got to be when you basically massacre a enemy faction, take cities that didnt even belong to them in the first place that they've only owned for 3-4 turns and then when they're at their last city with 3 full stacks around them they offer a ceasfire and want all of their land back, half your treasury and a couple extra cities to make it worth their while. lol best you can ever do is just take them out of their misery. course the people im talkin about are sarmatians and they simply horded and tried to take a couple of the cities back themselves.