Reasons to fear Canada

[Skomatth]

Ninety percent of population is massed within 100 miles of northern American border.

Seems not to mind that one of its provinces has turned almost entirely French.

Excessive politeness only makes sense as cover for something truly sinister. But what?

Citizens seem strangely impervious to cold.

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may, in fact, be indestructible.

Has infiltrated entertainment industry with singers, actors, and comedians practically indistinguishable from their American counterparts.

Consistently stays just below cultural radar yet never quite disappears.

Parliamentary government and common-law judiciary appear to function acceptably yet remain completely inscrutable.

Never had a "disco phase."

Seemingly endless supply of timber, donuts, and Scotch-plaid hats with earflaps.

Keeps insisting it "has no designs on America" and "only wants peace."

Plays a mean game of pond hockey.

Other fun lists

[Hurin_Rules]

You forgot to add Bryan Adams and Celine Dion.

Even we Canadians are finding it hard to cope with them.

[Redleg]

You forgot to add Bryan Adams and Celine Dion.

Even we Canadians are finding it hard to cope with them.

You can keep them - However you can send the group Rush back anytime you want.

[lars573]

Fine but we take Neil Young too.

[Reverend Joe]

Sounds like a nice place- especially the part about "decriminalised" grass!- can I be a Canadian too?!

[ichi]

If they were to bring high volume toilets with them many, many Americans would welcome them with open, erm, arms

ichi

ps and curling, don't forget curling. Canadians are wicked with their sweeping

[Redleg]

Fine but we take Neil Young too.

You can have him - I never liked his voice - CCR was much better.

[Beirut]

You can keep them - However you can send the group Rush back anytime you want.

I "know" the drummer, Neil Pert. He used to live near me. I'd always meet him on his BMW1100 while he was picking up his mail. We'd talk motorcycles for a bit. He'd tell me stories about crossing Tunisia on his Beemer bike. Very nice guy.

[Red Harvest]

I like the band Rush (felt it necessary to be clear on the "band" aspect of it.) Tough to dance to though, really cleared the dance floor. "Think I'll get another drink."

[Byzantine Prince]

The best thing about being Canadian is that most citizens of the world view us as some sort of saints who could never hurt anyone. It's funny.

[lars573]

Sounds like a nice place- especially the part about "decriminalised" grass!- can I be a Canadian too?!

It's not so much decriminalized as it's we have better things to spend our law enforcement dollars on than tossing a community service sentence at every university kid we catch with a dime bag on saturday night.

The best thing about being Canadian is that most citizens of the world view us as some sort of saints who could never hurt anyone. It's funny.

Till they meet a drunken Newfie.

[Seamus Fermanagh]

Till they meet a drunken Newfie.

I'd heard that was a redundancy.

[solypsist]

Vancouver is on my possible-future-residency list. I love almost everything about Canada.

[Kaiser of Arabia]

Ah, Canada. Our 51st, 52nd, 53rd, 54th, and 55th states

Doesn't sound like a very nice place to me. More like Anarchy. Except minus all the perks like freedom to kill whoever you want.

Bah, I'll stick with the People's Republick of Bucks County for now.

[GoreBag]

Ah, Canada. Our 51st, 52nd, 53rd, 54th, and 55th states

Doesn't sound like a very nice place to me. More like Anarchy. Except minus all the perks like freedom to kill whoever you want.

Boy, are you ever in the know.

I'm actually surprised that there were no comments about beer or Coffee Crisp.

[QwertyMIDX]

refresh your knowledge of the rules or welcome to ban city, population: you.

[Brutus]

Strange, but almost all I know about Canada comes from American movies or Dutch farmer-settlers....

[Beirut]

Ah, Canada. Our 51st, 52nd, 53rd, 54th, and 55th states

Thanks God you can't read a map. You're missing 56 to 63.

Doesn't sound like a very nice place to me. More like Anarchy.

Is that what y'all call freedom these days? I guess you're just not used to it anymore.

We're so cool we're frozen.

[English assassin]

Vancouver is on my possible-future-residency list.

Vancouver is on EVERYONE'S possible-future-residency list. I am reliably informed you can both ski and sail within city limits (not at the same time, presumably) That sounds like a city that has definitely got all its poo in one sock to me.

[Ironside]

Vancouver is on EVERYONE'S possible-future-residency list. I am reliably informed you can both ski and sail within city limits (not at the same time, presumably) That sounds like a city that has definitely got all its poo in one sock to me.

And?

If you can do both during the same season, then I'm impressed though. Closest possible place for that is Norway for me.

[Byzantine Prince]

Strange, but almost all I know about Canada comes from American movies or Dutch farmer-settlers....

Ahhhh typical canadians that Terrence and Phillip. My head tends to flap rather oddly however. Also I speak weird, budday. HAHAHA!

FEAR US!

[Prodigal]

Celine Dion.

I'm very pro Canada, but it strikes me she is the embodiment of their pact with the devil.

[English assassin]

@prodigal

Seeing as we gave the world the Spice Girls I think we had better keep quiet on this one

[Ianofsmeg16]

lol, spice girls, god i hated them!

why fear canada, they're in the commonwealth so they aint about to attack us :)

EDIT: Reason to fear canada......they say aboot instead of about!

[BDC]

Decriminalization of marijuana and acceptance of gay marriage without corresponding collapse of social institutions indicate Canada may, in fact, be indestructible.

If gay marriage can't destroy a country, nothing can.

[lars573]

I'd heard that was a redundancy.

Bepends on the Newfie. I've heard a Newfoundlander say that to impress the ladies in Halifax (he was one of my colledge professors in Halifax) you go up to them and say "Hi I'm Lars P.H.D." To do the same in St. John's (capitol of Newfoundland) you go "Hi I'm Lars J.O.B."

If gay marriage can't destroy a country, nothing can.

Like Nietchze said what ever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[GoreBag]

Vancouver I am reliably informed you can both ski and sail within city limits (not at the same time, presumably).

What, you've never ski-sailed?

[littlelostboy]

I heard from one of my Canadian friend that the universities there are relatively cheap and are subsitized with government aid and all universities there are equal, none are better or lower than any others. Is that true?????

[Strike For The South]

lol, spice girls, god i hated them!

I liked em when I was like 7 they were so purrdy

[QwertyMIDX]

I heard from one of my Canadian friend that the universities there are relatively cheap and are subsitized with government aid and all universities there are equal, none are better or lower than any others. Is that true?????

Somewhat, universities are partially funded by the government (through federal transfers to the provinces and provincial spending). They are generally much cheaper than US institutions but the price varies from school to school and some provinces much higher average tuition than others (Nova Scotia has the highest and Quebec has the lowest IIRC). The part about all universities being equal is bunk though, some schools are better than others just like anywhere else. Maclean's Magazine just published it's ratings of Canadian Universities so if you want to check specifics there are some up to date numbers to be had there (of course rankings aren't worth too much in my opinion, but they will give you an idea of the elite, at least in public perception, crop of Canadian schools, especially if you check more than year, the same few schools tend to top the charts every year). Anyway, there is a probably a bit less diversity amongst Canadian schools than American ones, but if there is its more a factor of number of schools than anything else.