Insurance form staments

[Placid Tramp]

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words.


Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my windows was done but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I
hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and
headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an
accident.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time
to avoid the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found
that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of
my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a
big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its
way when it struck my front end.

[TonkaToys]

Oldies but they still made me laugh!

[Divinus Arma]

I'm an accident investigator, so I find these very funny.

In almost every one of these statements you see the same pattern:

A Driver trying to mitigate his or her own fault. It's never their fault, always the other guy. Or the hedge. Or a pedestrian. Or a telephone pole.

[rasoforos]

I was working for a road assistance company for 9 months. My department was responsible for going at the accident scene, take pictures of the cars/location/signs and assist the driver in completing his Insurance Accident form, then making sure everything is correct and forwarding the forms/pics to the Insurer.

...I used to process about 40 cases per day or so and I can tell you that statements like that are extremelly common, even when someone experienced is there to assist the driver...

In many occasions the driver is in denial, or he really thinks that his forged version of the story is 'the perfect crime'

I ve seen a lot of weird cases, including:

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A priest who wrote something like ' I was driving on the highway and then suddenly out of nowhere a car appears next to me and I hit it, then suddenly out of nowhere another car miraculusly appears and I hit it too. I cannot take an oath but I am not to blame.

Who is to blame: I do not know

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I was parked and when I returned one car was parked in front of me and one behind be, very closely. While trying to unpark I hit the front car and then the one behind me.

Who is to blame: The other two cars

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It was snowing and the road was icy. While I was driving I lost control and hit two cars

Who is to blame: THE ICE!!!

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The most classical lame exuse is the 'stop sign' excuse. People dont stop to check at a stop sign and they end up having an accident. About 30% will say:

I stoped and checked at the stop sign, there was noone coming, then I started moving again and "suddenly out of nowhere" a car came and we crashed.

Who is to blame: the other person! ( THE NOTORIOUS INVISIBLE CAR?? )

( a variation of this is that they dont mention the stop sign...which though is on the pictures...so then the Insurer can accuse em of a false claim )

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Oh i really miss that job sometimes....