[news] There is a God and He Loves the Irish

**solypsist** · 11-29-2005, 19:55

"Fishermen from both sides of the Irish border netted an unexpected early Christmas present, hauling in bottles of cream liqueur near the English coast, a drinks company said. The fishermen's nets brought up the bottles in special presentation packs that had been destined for the Christmas market in Spain -- so they scored not only a tipple but also the glasses from which to drink it."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20051123...d_051123190450

**Adrian II** · 11-29-2005, 20:39

Nah, it's the work of the Devil. He hates the Spanish.

**Reverend Joe** · 11-29-2005, 20:40

Damn... and here, I thought God had forsaken the Irish.

**Ser Clegane** · 11-29-2005, 20:41

I especially liked that the glasses came with the booze

**SwordsMaster** · 11-29-2005, 20:44

Originally Posted by Ser Clegane

I especially liked that the glasses came with the booze

Yep, nice touch, isn't it?

**Tribesman** · 11-29-2005, 21:06

I especially liked that the glasses came with the booze
How can that be , the presentation boxes are cardboard . When I was looting ....oops salvaging from a wrecked container ship , everything that wasn't shrink wrapped in plastic was out of its packaging and that was only on the day of the wreck , and the next two days on the rocks and beaches right next to it , not a month later hundreds of miles away . ???

**Seamus Fermanagh** · 11-30-2005, 05:12

Perhaps the fishermen's nets hauled in the liquer in much the same manner that something "falls of the back of a truck" and gets picked up....

**English assassin** · 11-30-2005, 11:39

Originally Posted by Tribesman

I especially liked that the glasses came with the booze
How can that be , the presentation boxes are cardboard . When I was looting ....oops salvaging from a wrecked container ship , everything that wasn't shrink wrapped in plastic was out of its packaging and that was only on the day of the wreck , and the next two days on the rocks and beaches right next to it , not a month later hundreds of miles away . ???

The answer is in the thread title...

**Tribesman** · 11-30-2005, 19:13

The answer is in the thread title...
Ah .....its a miracle , blessed be the fishing nets and the holy waterproof cardboard .

**ichi** · 11-30-2005, 19:50

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65."
"This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's been going on?," he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Seamus walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."

'Anyone who can guess how many ducks I have in this sack can have both of them,' said Murphy. 'Three!' shouted Ranagan. 'That's close enough,' said Murphy.

An Irish girl went to London to work as a secretary and began sending home money and gifts to her parents.

After a few years they asked her to come home for a visit, as her father was getting frail and elderly. She pulled up to the family home in a Rolls Royce and stepped out wearing furs and diamonds.

As she walked into the house her father said "Hmmm, they seem to be paying secretaries awfully well in London."

The girl took his hands and said, "Dad, I've been meaning to tell you something for years but I didn't want to put it in a letter. I can't hide it from you any longer. I've become a prostitute."

Her father gasped, put his hand on his heart and keeled over. The doctor was called but the old man had clearly lost the will to live. He was put to bed and the priest was called.

As the priest began to administer Extreme Unction, with the mother and daughter weeping and wailing, the old man muttered weakly, "I'm a goner, killed by me own daughter! Killed by the shame of what you've become!"

"Please forgive me," his daughter sobbed, "I only wanted to have nice things! I wanted to be able to send you money and the only way I could do it was by becoming a prostitute."

Brushing the priest aside, the old man bolted upright in bed, smiling.

"Did ye say prostitute? I thought ye said PROTESTANT!!"

ichi