Check out the FAQ:

What time is it?

It is 9:32.

How do I get back to the expressway?

You want to keep going straight until you hit the stoplight at Maple, and then take a right. Go three blocks until you hit 41st, and then take another right. The on-ramp will be about 300 yards ahead.

How are things going?

Aside from the prostate operation? Pretty good.

Paper or plastic?

Plastic, you tree-hugging hippie.

How do I kill Ganon?

You need to run around the chamber, randomly slashing with the Master Sword until you happen to hit him. At that point, you need to quickly switch to the Bow and Arrow and shoot a Light Arrow at him. Do this five or six times and you will recover the Triforce easily.

What day is it?

It is Tuesday. [update, by jsm] it's Wednesday. [update, by spiralx] it's now Thursday.[update, by dmg] it is now Tuesday again.
And so on