Top 10 Highlights of the Bin Laden Tape

**Pindar** · 01-20-2006, 08:35

(as found on the net.)

Top 10 Highlights of the New Osama Bin Laden Tape

10. Outraged that Bush would wiretap him without a warrant

9. Is “troubled’ by the Alito nomination

8. Wholeheartedly endorses the McCain anti-Torture Amendment

7. Wants to know where he can get his hands on a Brokeback Mountain bootleg DVD

6. Denied ever being a member of ZZ Top

5. Regrets that Bush made him kill Cindy Sheehan’s son

4. Warns the producers of “24” not to portray Muslims as terrorists

3. Upset that people keep saying that he’s dead

2. Threatened more terrorist attacks unless Fox agrees to broadcast another season of “The Simple Life”

1. Wants Jimmy Carter to negotiate a truce

**Paul Peru** · 01-20-2006, 11:57

So, to ever so slightly take the bait, the point is that everyone who does not unquestioningly accept everything the current US administration is up to is exactly like Bin Laden?

It's funny 'cause it's true!

**Proletariat** · 01-20-2006, 15:16

The damn cockroach is still scuttling. But he has generously offered the Great Satan a truce, if we agree to the following conditions.

1. US must withdraw troops from Afghanistan and Iraq.

2. US must cease all financial support for Israel.

3. George Bush must go on national television and apologize for crimes against Islam.

4. Bin Laden's part in any future movie must be played by Christopher Walken.

5. "Family Guy" must be re-cancelled immediately as it is "no longer very funny"

6. Sharia law must be implemented in at least one American city, preferably Las Vegas.

7. U.S. must influence India to throw the world cricket championship to Pakistan

8. All inmates at Guantanamo must receive free iPod Nanos pre-loaded with entire Koran chanted by Dick Cheney

9. All Americans must grow a minimum 6-inch long beard, including the women.

10. NFL-style instant replay must be used in all future college bowl games.

http://www.mikesilverman.com/2006/01...ruce-with.html

(Must say, the author is waaay off base with number 5.)

**Devastatin Dave** · 01-20-2006, 15:35

Boy, talk about a coincidence. I'm not a conspiracy buff like many of you but his speech really sounds like any speech you would here at any leftists, moveon.org sort of rally. Not pointing fingers or anything mind you.

**Leet Eriksson** · 01-20-2006, 15:56

Actually if you see 24, in the end the muslim terrorists aren't really terrorists, they turn out to be the good guys..

**Louis VI the Fat** · 01-21-2006, 00:50

Originally Posted by faisal

Actually if you see 24, in the end the muslim terrorists aren't really terrorists, they turn out to be the good guys..

Oh. Okay.

*Throws away his expensive, brandnew and now utterly pointless '24' DVD-set*

**Crazed Rabbit** · 01-20-2006, 16:49

Originally Posted by Proletariat

http://www.mikesilverman.com/2006/01...ruce-with.html

(Must say, the author is waaay off base with number 5.)

Bah! That's the only one he's got right.

I think I'll send Osama a tape of True Lies, care of Al-Jezeera.

Crazed Rabbit

**solypsist** · 01-20-2006, 21:12

OBL reminds me of the black knight from monty python's holy grail.

**Devastatin Dave** · 01-20-2006, 21:20

Originally Posted by solypsist

OBL reminds me of the black knight from monty python's holy grail.

Agreed, good observation.

**Xiahou** · 01-20-2006, 21:14

Originally Posted by Proletariat

(Must say, the author is waaay off base with number 5.)

No, he's not.

**Slyspy** · 01-21-2006, 04:01

CAUTION!

This thread contains a joke posted by a lawyer.

Please adjust your screen with a mallet until reality returns.

**Paul Peru** · 01-22-2006, 16:57

I support number 9 on Prole's list.

Too bad you don't negotiate...

Actually, I watched season 4 (wasn't it?) of 24 without noticing that the (largely implicitly islamic) terrorists were good guys.