Winter 363 AD
By the time Gratianus Flavius finished reading the scroll from his uncle, Augustus Leontius Flavius, he was almost weeping with joy. He had been assigned a new governorship! No longer would he be stuck here at the edge of Empire keeping watch on the barbarians across the frontier, no longer would he wake up every morning wondering if this would be the day when he would receive the news that the Alemni were on their way. And he knew that that day would come, oh yes, it was only a matter of time. The prospect of Barbarian hordes sweeping down to rape and pillage Rome’s weakly defended border provinces dominated his thoughts, both waking and sleeping. Just that night he had dreamt, as he did almost every night, of fighting against waves of Barbarians. The dream was always the same – wave after wave after wave of the savages, too many, always too many to fight. And as the hordes closed in on Gratianus, he would wake up in a terrified cold sweat.
And now he was to be moved away from the borders, no longer would he spend his days poring over reports from watchtowers and spies, no longer would he obsess about whether the barbarian attack had already started, if he was a dead man already. He put the scroll down and smiled at the officers around him, trying hard not to show their curiosity at this message from the Emperor.
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Gratianus was busy explaining details of the handover of the governorship to his officers when she walked in
“I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY NOW YOU USELESS LILY LIVERRED COWARD!!!”
All conversation in the room stopped.
“L-L-Livia” stammered Gratianus. He had been dreading this moment, knew it was only a matter of time.
“I can’t believe I let my daughter marry you! I knew I should have never let her marry you! It was only her father, God rest his soul, who let it happen you know! Wouldn’t listen to me, oh no, thought he knew best, typical block headed man!” Her voice changed to a whiny, mocking tone ““But Livia” he said “his uncle is going to be Emperor in a few years” he said, “he’s going to nephew of the Augustus” he said, “he’ll get some prime jobs” he said. GAH! Stupid, stupid man! Wouldn’t listen to his wife, oh no. I told him, oh yes I told him, I said you were a craven coward, I said you were scared of your own shadow! If I told him once I told him a thousand times, oh yes, as God is my witness I told him! But he wouldn’t listen, I might as well as been talking to myself for all the good it did! I don’t now why I bother I really don’t! You’re just as bad as he was, never listen to me! If you’d listen to me occasionally perhaps you wouldn’t be being transferred in disgrace! Oh the shame of it, how will I ever be able to hold my head with pride if I ever get back to Rome – or Massila since your granddad made that stupid decision to move the capital to that backwater! Why he did that I’ll never know! Oh I know why he did it alright, it was that Decimus Flavius, always too clever for his own good that boy! That’s why he thought it would be such a good idea, always got his head in the books, adding up the accounts, no idea of what a capital is really all about! He might want to spend all his time musing on trade figures but some of us like to have a social life you know! Not that I’m ever likely to spend much time in civilized Roman high society again, thanks to YOU! That’s it, your careers effectively over now, you do realize that don’t you?”
She carried on ranting of course, this was just the warm up. She could go on haranguing Gratianus for 30 minutes or more without let up and no-one else in the room would be allowed a word in edgeways throughout the entire performance. Nor would they be allowed to leave. One or two officers had tried to sneak out when Gratianus had first arrived in Augusta Vindelicorum with his mother-in-law in tow. It was a mistake they never made twice. Better just to stand there and intently study the ceiling or the floor – anything to avoid Livia's tongue.
Of course, the entire army was glad to see the back of the pair of them. Gratianus was a real contradiction – he actually had an excellent grasp of military theory, his knowledge of tactics and logistics was first class. Unfortunately he had no guts and combat had a paralyzing, terrifying effect on him. And if he was a coward at the best of times, then barbarians reduced him to a quivering wreck incapable of any effective command. Roman soldiers could forgive a commander who was tactically inept but brave as a lion, but they would never trust a military genius who was a coward. And as for Livia…well she constantly undermined him in front of all and sundry, from the lowliest ranker to the highest ranking visiting dignitary. Yes, this army on the edge of Empire knew that their new Augustus had made the right decision in relocating their governor and his mother-in-law somewhere where he could do less damage.
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Having arrived in Mediolanium and installed himself in the Governors palace, Gratianus wasted no time in implementing one of Leontius’s directives. The new Christian Emperor wanted a united Christian Empire and had instructed all his relatives of that religion to begin tearing down the pagan temples and building churches in their place. Gratianus set to his new task with relish.
He never anticipated the backlash that stripping the Temple of Mithras of its treasures and razing it to the ground would have on the people of that almost exclusively pagan city. He never anticipated the rioting that would break out in the city. He never anticipated that the rioting would go on, and on, and on. He never anticipated that eventually the mob would work itself up so much that it would storm the governor’s palace. He never anticipated that whilst he hid in a cupboard that Livia would stand in the room berating him for causing all these problems, for not being man enough to stand up to these plebian scum who were burning the city around them. He never anticipated that the mob would burst into the room and literally tear them both limb from limb before spiking their heads on the city gates.
Thus ended the life of Gratianus the Lilly Livered.
Eventually a leader emerged from the rioters, one Andragathius Galerius, and flush with confidence following the murder of their governor, and in protest against the attempts of their new Augustus to impose Christianity on them, elected him as a rival Emperor in the west.
Such crimes could of course not go without retribution, nor could a rival Emperor be tolerated and so Leontius ordered his younger brother Caius to retake Mediolanium. Caius was on his way to Dalmatia, there to strengthen the Eastern borders when he got the news to turn back. Taking charge of the troops who had fled from the city when the rioting had gotten out of control, and picking up a few cohorts of other troops along the way, he laid siege to Mediolanium.
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