Martinis in England?

[Kanamori]

I have to say, it's been nearly impossible to get a martini here.

I have asked on five ocassions, differently, trying to adapt how I ask so I get a real martini but all of my attempts to order one have failed. I always ask, and then I get a few shots of that awful vermouth concoction, Martini (the brand name, the terrible vermouth that tastes like toothpaste). What's up? I've been to bars, clubs, and pubs, and I've even tried to tell them what to put in it, but they just looked at me confused and gave me the toothpaste.

I had to buy my bombay and noilly in one of those chain wine shops.

[Tribesman]

Kanamori , most bar staff in Britain have training that consists of ...
"beer pumps over there , cash register over here" .
Your best bet would be to find a cocktail bar .

[GiantMonkeyMan]

er... we are talking about england here? there are alco-pops and beers... thats about it

[Don Corleone]

You gotta remember Kanamori that the cocktail, or mixed drink, is an American creation. You can get shots & mixed drinks in the UK or continental Europe, but it's rare. Most of those EOP (East of the pond) drink their spirits straight or branched (with a dash of water). The one exception to this would be the G&T (gin and tonic) but for the love of God, unless you want to be dragged out to the street and horsewhipped, you don't want to ask for ice.

[Kanamori]

Everyone asks me if I want ice, and I don't.

You can get shots & mixed drinks in the UK or continental Europe, but it's rare. Most of those EOP (East of the pond) drink their spirits straight or branched (with a dash of water).

That's what I don't get though, these places serve G & T, a good fall back after they hand me the toothpaste vermouth, which is also the most teribble tasting vermouth I've ever had, rum and cokes, you name it, but they never do martinis. I just thought they would have it here; I was most surprised when people still didn't know what I was talking about, after I told them how to make it -- I mean, I'm not asking for one of those fruity vodka "martinis". Ah well, I'm good now that the ingredients are in the fridge, I'll just have to carry it around in a flask and sneak it.

The beer is tons better though, I especially like the Bishops Finger and the Guiness is better too.

[Don Corleone]

Okay, you didn't hear it from me, but I'm about to let you in on UK's national secret. If they learn you learned it from me, they may bar me from any future re-entry. But you were mentioning good beers. The best? Well, you've probably never heard of it, as they don't export it. Stingy bastards keep it all to themselves. And who can blame them? If I had possession of the stuff, I wouldn't be selling it abroad either.

Anyway, you ready....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Spitfire

[InsaneApache]

The beer is tons better though.

Never mind that southern crap, get your arse up to Yorkshire. We have the best selection and 'heavy' ales than those southern poofters.

Oh and just so I can't be accused of bias, I included my Welsh and Scots brethren as well....

Their beers even worse...I know , I know ...hard to believe isn't it?

[Duke of Gloucester]

Never mind that southern crap, get your arse up to Yorkshire. We have the best selection and 'heavy' ales than those southern poofters.

Masham, yes. Tadcaster and Leeds no, no a thousand times no.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Never mind that southern crap, get your arse up to Yorkshire. We have the best selection and 'heavy' ales than those southern poofters.

Oh and just so I can't be accused of bias, I included my Welsh and Scots brethren as well....

Their beers even worse...I know , I know ...hard to believe isn't it?

The state of the women up North, you need the stronger stuff. Pure utilitarianism, my friend.

I rather like Hobgoblin ale myself.

[Kanamori]

I like Bishop's Finger better than Spitfire. I've heard that they changed the recipe from what it used to be though, in the last year or so. There are only two places I can get Spitfire though anyway: Parliament and JD Witherspoons, which is half an hour away.

I'll have to try hobgoblin. What good ones in Yorkshire?

[solypsist]

go to a better type of bar, not a pub.

[Taffy_is_a_Taff]

Oh and just so I can't be accused of bias, I included my Welsh and Scots brethren as well....

Their beers even worse...I know , I know ...hard to believe isn't it?

*slap*

Right, try Brains and some of the smaller breweries' stuff from Wales.

For Scotland: Orkney Dark Island, Old Jock, Innes and Gunn's whisky barrel beer (can't remember its proper name), Fraoich etc.

[Somebody Else]

Certain bars can do martinis, not cheaply mind...

Anyway, up where I am, there's plenty of whisky varieties to go 'round.

Though having a bar where I can get 1.50 Spitfires if I so choose is handy, though, the 1.50 double Bombay and tonic usually finds it's way into me...

[Kanamori]

1.5 for a double shot bombay and tonic?? What kind of paradise is this, mine cost me 10 and it takes more than a few to get me going

[Somebody Else]

1.5 for a double shot bombay and tonic?? What kind of paradise is this, mine cost me 10 and it takes more than a few to get me going

Subsidised drinking... best kind there is (well, apart from free drinking, of course).

Good thing too, it certainly takes far more than a few to get me going...

[Mikeus Caesar]

Kanamori, i don't know how long you plan staying in our pleasant country, but until you leave, i recommend being adventurous and trying our ales and beer, instead of silly things like 'martini's'. Trust me, try some of the local stuff, you'll never want to leave.

Where do you come from anyway?

[Kanamori]

Kanamori, i don't know how long you plan staying in our pleasant country, but until you leave, i recommend being adventurous and trying our ales and beer, instead of silly things like 'martini's'. Trust me, try some of the local stuff, you'll never want to leave.

Where do you come from anyway?

Don't get me wrong, I like the ales, I just occasionally need my harder drinks.
(I'm from Madison, Wisconsin.)

[matteus the inbred]

Okay, you didn't hear it from me, but I'm about to let you in on UK's national secret. If they learn you learned it from me, they may bar me from any future re-entry. But you were mentioning good beers. The best? Well, you've probably never heard of it, as they don't export it. Stingy bastards keep it all to themselves. And who can blame them? If I had possession of the stuff, I wouldn't be selling it abroad either.

Anyway, you ready....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Spitfire

I salute you sir!

Young's is quite good too, depending on where you go. anywhere with a CAMRA (Campaign for Real Ale) sign will be worth a look, but prepare for the pub itself to be full of geography teachers and beardy types with ferrets.
I like Stones Bitter, you can't get it down south though

not sure about Martinis. I've had decent White Russians in the odd bar.

[Fragony]

You mean that 007 cannot get his favorite drink in his homecountry? That is weird.

[Taffy_is_a_Taff]

You mean that 007 cannot get his favorite drink in his homecountry? That is weird.

that's why he became a spy, foreign travel means martini access. Go read some Flemming.

[InsaneApache]

What good ones in Yorkshire?

Any Theakstons is good.(the best bitter is my personal favourite) For a heavy type try 'Old Peculiar'.

Timothy Taylors in very good as well, but that's more a West Yorkshire brew.

I like Stones Bitter, you can't get it down south though

Well it takes all sorts. I wouldn't recommend it to someone I liked.

Just had a thought, perhaps you should get out of 'the smoke' and move to a decent city. Preferably one North of Sheffield. lol

[matteus the inbred]

i plead guilty of being a soft southern nance with bad taste in beer! even worse, my dad's from Shipley...the shame

[InsaneApache]

my dad's from Shipley

Spent many a time in the 'Slip' (real name The Cricketers-geddit?) just off Fox Corner. Worked in Shipley for about 5 years.

[Slyspy]

You gotta remember Kanamori that the cocktail, or mixed drink, is an American creation. You can get shots & mixed drinks in the UK or continental Europe, but it's rare. Most of those EOP (East of the pond) drink their spirits straight or branched (with a dash of water). The one exception to this would be the G&T (gin and tonic) but for the love of God, unless you want to be dragged out to the street and horsewhipped, you don't want to ask for ice.

But for a G&T you must have ice and a slice of fruit. preferably lime. You shouldn't have ice in a decent malt whisky, but in the rough blended stuff I recommend it. A little coke or ginger as a mixer goes well with yank whiskey. Cocktails are indeed an American invention and should be sought out in more specialist bars rather than pubs, though there are exceptions.

I confess to being a lager or cider drinker rather than a bitter fan (I am a bitter man, but that is a different story) but there are a great many out there that are very tasty. I like HSB, but now that the brewery has been brought out I wonder if it has a future.

[matteus the inbred]

well, well, well. he's from Saltaire to be exact...and my gran still lives in old folk's home called The Anchorage.
ee bah gum.

haven't discovered any decent beers in the west country where my folks now live, but i'll keep looking...

[Duke of Gloucester]

haven't discovered any decent beers in the west country where my folks now live, but i'll keep looking...

Depends exactly where you mean in the West Country, but Smiles made a good range of beer (Bristol). Bath Ales Gem is good too. I have also drunk a few bottles of Freeminer (Cinderford) - Gold Standard I think it was, but it was excellent. Of course if you live in Devon this isn't helpful. If you live in Cornwall, the Blue Anchor in Helston brews its own beer, called Spingo I think, and it is first class. When I lived in the West Country, I had no trouble getting hold of Theakstons best, which I prefered to any of the other beers I have suggested.

[InsaneApache]

Theakstons best, which I prefered to any of the other beers I have suggested.

I rest my case M'lud

[Ianofsmeg16]

Nah, go for Okells traditional Manx Ales....or Bushy's, as any of you who have been to the TT, provide all the drink for that event.

[BDC]

My experience of cocktails got as far as Frisky Bison, and stopped. Vodka and apple juice shouldn't be mixed, regardless of what you call it.

Damn Weatherspoons.

[Kanamori]

Damn Weatherspoons.

That's the only place beside Parliament where I've been able to find Spitfire.