Martinis in England?

[Kanamori]

I have to say, it's been nearly impossible to get a martini here.

I have asked on five ocassions, differently, trying to adapt how I ask so I get a real martini but all of my attempts to order one have failed. I always ask, and then I get a few shots of that awful vermouth concoction, Martini (the brand name, the terrible vermouth that tastes like toothpaste). What's up? I've been to bars, clubs, and pubs, and I've even tried to tell them what to put in it, but they just looked at me confused and gave me the toothpaste.

I had to buy my bombay and noilly in one of those chain wine shops.

[Tribesman]

Kanamori , most bar staff in Britain have training that consists of ...
"beer pumps over there , cash register over here" .
Your best bet would be to find a cocktail bar .

[GiantMonkeyMan]

er... we are talking about england here? there are alco-pops and beers... thats about it

[Don Corleone]

You gotta remember Kanamori that the cocktail, or mixed drink, is an American creation. You can get shots & mixed drinks in the UK or continental Europe, but it's rare. Most of those EOP (East of the pond) drink their spirits straight or branched (with a dash of water). The one exception to this would be the G&T (gin and tonic) but for the love of God, unless you want to be dragged out to the street and horsewhipped, you don't want to ask for ice.

[Kanamori]

Everyone asks me if I want ice, and I don't.

You can get shots & mixed drinks in the UK or continental Europe, but it's rare. Most of those EOP (East of the pond) drink their spirits straight or branched (with a dash of water).

That's what I don't get though, these places serve G & T, a good fall back after they hand me the toothpaste vermouth, which is also the most teribble tasting vermouth I've ever had, rum and cokes, you name it, but they never do martinis. I just thought they would have it here; I was most surprised when people still didn't know what I was talking about, after I told them how to make it -- I mean, I'm not asking for one of those fruity vodka "martinis". Ah well, I'm good now that the ingredients are in the fridge, I'll just have to carry it around in a flask and sneak it.

The beer is tons better though, I especially like the Bishops Finger and the Guiness is better too.

[Don Corleone]

Okay, you didn't hear it from me, but I'm about to let you in on UK's national secret. If they learn you learned it from me, they may bar me from any future re-entry. But you were mentioning good beers. The best? Well, you've probably never heard of it, as they don't export it. Stingy bastards keep it all to themselves. And who can blame them? If I had possession of the stuff, I wouldn't be selling it abroad either.

Anyway, you ready....

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Spitfire

[Slyspy]

You gotta remember Kanamori that the cocktail, or mixed drink, is an American creation. You can get shots & mixed drinks in the UK or continental Europe, but it's rare. Most of those EOP (East of the pond) drink their spirits straight or branched (with a dash of water). The one exception to this would be the G&T (gin and tonic) but for the love of God, unless you want to be dragged out to the street and horsewhipped, you don't want to ask for ice.

But for a G&T you must have ice and a slice of fruit. preferably lime. You shouldn't have ice in a decent malt whisky, but in the rough blended stuff I recommend it. A little coke or ginger as a mixer goes well with yank whiskey. Cocktails are indeed an American invention and should be sought out in more specialist bars rather than pubs, though there are exceptions.

I confess to being a lager or cider drinker rather than a bitter fan (I am a bitter man, but that is a different story) but there are a great many out there that are very tasty. I like HSB, but now that the brewery has been brought out I wonder if it has a future.