e_b.txt edits - theaters

[SpawnOfEbil]

What have I missed out? Anything that I need to add to that?

[LordElrond]

I'm working on a compromise between our two types, I'll post it in when I finish it.

LE

[LordElrond]

Alright I have the new versions incoporating many of Spawn's suggestions along with a few new clarifying edits.

LE

[Kull]

You can see the new text right here. LE edited his original post, which is the correct way for him to operate (this is a working thread, after all). LE - For comparisons sake, you may want to post the old turgid stuff (at least for one faction).

[LordElrond]

Heres what the description originally looked like before I made my initial edits. Unfortunately, I overwrote my first changes with the new one.

LE

{theatron1} Mikron Theatron
{theatron1_desc}
Small Theater\n\nFrom its origins on the sides of hills and with primitive wooden scaffolding, the theatra of the Hellenes were at their core practical structures. They provided a setting for the production of tragedies and later comedies as well as satyr plays and other civic presentations. They were not always the most grand structures, especially the earlier ones and those found farther from the heartland of Hellas itself. The sloping side of a hill was the first prerequisite, and if any serious care was paid to detail, a semicircular arrangement measured out with some degree of precision was desireable. The floor was known as the orchestra and the stage, or skene, was usually fairly simple.\n\nThe theater itself was not the focus, but instead the real reason for their existence was the performances that could be comfortably housed there. The worship of the god Dionysos was also very important wherever a theater was found, but the tragedies and comedies had long since taken precedence over the religious reasons for holding the festivals. By the third century, the most popular productions were not new ones, but performances of the famous fifth century Athenian playwrights. Those citizens who attended productions were certainly more happy than citizens in cities without a theater at all.
{theatron1_desc_short}
They provided a setting for the production of tragedies and later comedies as well as satyr plays and other civic presentations and made for a happier citizen body.

[SpawnOfEbil]

Looks good, concise without missing info out.

[Kull]

Looks good, concise without missing info out.

We kept a lot of your verbiage, and your alternative helped in at least two areas:

1) Made it clear to us that the first paragraph should be "what a theatre is" while the second para becomes "what a theatre does". Much better flow.

2) The comment on civic performances. You were right. What IS that? And the answer was, duh, theatres were handy locations for the citizenry to meet for speeches and political discussions. It wouldn't surprise me if other groups used them too.....merchant societies, religious groups, etc.

So thanks! And please continue to offer (as TA would say) "specific" suggestions!

Edit: And how could I forget....MANY thanks to LordElrond! A most helpful and productive "first day on the job"!!