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Thread: Foolishness

  1. #1
    Nobody Important Member Somebody Else's Avatar
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    Default Foolishness

    When holding a wickedly sharp knife in one hand, do not, on any account, attempt to catch the carrot you dropped in close proximity to it with the other hand - it's a messy recipe.

    Anyone else do anything similarly malcoordinated recently?
    Don't have any aspirations - they're doomed to fail.

    Rumours...

  2. #2
    Son of a Star Member Bar Kochba's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Quote Originally Posted by Somebody Else
    When holding a wickedly sharp knife in one hand, do not, on any account, attempt to catch the carrot you dropped in close proximity to it with the other hand - it's a messy recipe.

    Anyone else do anything similarly malcoordinated recently?

    WOW bout the most random thing ive ever read did this happen to u
    "It is not so much that we need to be taken out of exile. It is that the exile must be taken out of us."- Lubavitcher Rebbe


    "Its a great mitzva to be happy always" Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

    We want moshiach now!!

  3. #3
    Member Senior Member Proletariat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    While cooking earlier, I forget I had just opened one of the cupboard doors that hangs from the ceiling. I leaned over to get something from one of the lower drawers in the kitchen and you can guess what happened when I stood back up. I do something this stupid just about monthly.


  4. #4
    Senior Member Senior Member Reenk Roink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Don't try fixing a wedgie, while at the same time, switching your gear from "Park" to "Drive" or you might just lose driving privileges...
    Last edited by Reenk Roink; 02-19-2006 at 04:13. Reason: a terrible grammar tense mistake and also a missing comma

  5. #5
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Sliced of my finger with a fridge a few months ago, beat that

  6. #6
    Time Lord Member The_Doctor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Sliced of my finger with a fridge a few months ago, beat that


    Never pick a coin out of a fire that is changing colour.

    Never booby trap a tree by half cutting through a branch then try to test it by jumping on it.

  7. #7
    Tree Killer Senior Member Beirut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Foolishness?

    Letting your two kids and their two friends play with clay in the house.

    And this is just the sink where they washed their hands. You should see the kitchen table.

    Unto each good man a good dog

  8. #8
    Senior Member Senior Member Reenk Roink's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Gosh, that looks like blood...

  9. #9
    Humbled Father Member Duke of Gloucester's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    I am sure the fun they had was worth it. (for them!)
    We all learn from experience. Unfortunately we don't all learn as much as we should.

  10. #10
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Well another case of unspeakable folly, if you have to go with your boat under a bridge, make sure that the bridge is high enough.

    Fragony = Fragony -2500 euro

  11. #11
    Not affiliated with Red Dwarf. Member Ianofsmeg16's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Never throw Potassium Powder into a Bunsen Burner, with your friend standing close to the burner....I very nearly set him on fire poor lad...
    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye.
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown,
    The dream is gone.
    I have become comfortably numb...

    Proud Supporter of the Gahzette

  12. #12
    Viceroy of the Indian Empire Member Duke Malcolm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Quote Originally Posted by Somebody Else
    When holding a wickedly sharp knife in one hand, do not, on any account, attempt to catch the carrot you dropped in close proximity to it with the other hand - it's a messy recipe.

    Anyone else do anything similarly malcoordinated recently?
    Yes, but with a German Sausage...
    I have a cut on the bit between my thumb and fore-finger...
    It was not theirs to reason why,
    It was not theirs to make reply,
    It was theirs but to do or die.
    -The Charge of the Light Brigade - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    "Wherever this stone shall lie, the King of the Scots shall rule"
    -Prophecy of the Stone of Destiny

    "For God, For King and country, For loved ones home and Empire, For the sacred cause of justice, and The freedom of the world, They buried him among the kings because he, Had done good toward God and toward his house."
    -Inscription on the Tomb of the Unknown Warrior

  13. #13
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    When you cut a frozen American(aka big) muffin in two halfes, make sure you don`t have your finger directly below the knife.
    I still have the scar; almost cut in to the bone(if didn`t).
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  14. #14
    German Enthusiast Member Alexanderofmacedon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    My friend was taking me home and I yelled at a friend of mine, who is a girl. She's very attractive and just her name got my driving friend to look...

    ...He hit the car in front of him screwing the heck out of his liscence plate

    Funny stuff...


  15. #15
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Recently nothing major, but when I was a child I stabbed myself in the mouth with an arrow.

    I can still feel the scar.

  16. #16
    Lesbian Rebel Member Mikeus Caesar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Never try seeing how much paper you can cut through with the razor from a pencil sharpener. I cut off the very tip of my left thumb, and have a scar there.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ranika
    I'm being assailed by a mental midget of ironically epic proportions. Quick as frozen molasses, this one. Sharp as a melted marble. It's disturbing. I've had conversations with a braying mule with more coherence.


  17. #17

    Default Re: Foolishness

    Don't fall off a theme park ride.

    There's mine.

  18. #18
    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Don't ever shave naked whilst standing in front of a mirror that hangs directly above a very hot radiator.
    Co-Lord of BKS and Beirut's Kingdom of Peace and Love.

    "Handsome features, rugged exteriors, intellectual chick magnets, we're pretty much twins."-Beirut

    "Rhy, where's your helicopter now? Where's your ******* helicopter now?"-Mephistopheles.



  19. #19
    Nec Pluribus Impar Member SwordsMaster's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    Don't ever shave naked whilst standing in front of a mirror that hangs directly above a very hot radiator.

    Ouch! I feel you comrade. Been there.
    Managing perceptions goes hand in hand with managing expectations - Masamune

    Pie is merely the power of the state intruding into the private lives of the working class. - Beirut

  20. #20
    Tree Killer Senior Member Beirut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Quote Originally Posted by Big King Sanctaphrax
    Don't ever shave naked whilst standing in front of a mirror that hangs directly above a very hot radiator.
    I'm not sure if this is just British wisdom or has been gained through personal experience. And I can offer neither sympathy nor empathy unil it has been made clear.

    Did you, BKS, my boss, my buddy, Lord of this your Kingdom of Peace & Love, shave naked in front of a mirror hanging directly over a hot radiator?

    13,454 Org. members want to know.
    Unto each good man a good dog

  21. #21
    Chieftain of the Pudding Race Member Evil_Maniac From Mars's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Actually, I for one do NOT want to know.

  22. #22

    Default Re: Foolishness

    I was working at a submarine sandwich shop as a teenager and was a little drunk. ( I was a baaaaaaaaaaad kid)

    Anyway, as I went to slice this gentleman's sandwich in half, I simultaneously sliced into my left thumb. (very deep- still have the scar)

    I ran into the back kitchen to wash my hand, leaving the sandwich there and telling no one what happened. It was so quick that no one saw or had any idea. "Cut and run" quite literally!


    The scary part: The man had ordered a meatball sandwich and I shall never know what became of it, since no one knew why I scampered off...

    I reckon he found it to be extra saucy that day.
    "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Einstein

    Quote Originally Posted by Pannonian View Post
    The Backroom is the Crackroom.

  23. #23
    Vermonter and Seperatist Member Uesugi Kenshin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Well I was an idiot this morning. My mistake was thinking while washing the top of a can of dog-food.

    Now I have a great little cut nearly directly on the middle of my right thumb. Maybe it'll leave a scar to balance out the ones I have on my left thumb....
    "A man's dying is more his survivor's affair than his own."
    C.S. Lewis

    "So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, to arrive, safely, at death."
    Jermaine Evans

  24. #24
    Mediæval Auctoriso Member Member TheSilverKnight's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Never cook (American) bacon without a shirt on

    Always use shaving cream unless you are using a small electric razor to do a few touch-ups

    Do not attempt to break up cat-fights (between cats, girls, or girl cats)

    Never stick your finger on a fork that's been left in a pot of pasta that's been left to boil/simmer for a few moments...

    "I'm like the Vikings -- I come here, I steal your women, your booze, your dough, and then I go back home." ~ Wiz
    "Play RTW and wait till 1,000 people die and look at them from above. Then tell me it was worth the oil." - Byzantine Prince

  25. #25
    Nobody expects the Senior Member Lemur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    Don't take any dietary supplements because your wife says "You ought to take these." I forget what the evil substance was, but I fell over with a fever, my body turned bright red, and I wondered if I was going to die. When I recovered, I found that the stuff warned that all of this might happen in tiny print on a giant piece of paper folded inside the box.

    This lemur has been very cautious about vitamins/supplements ever since. Now I wish I could remember what that stuff was ...

  26. #26
    Oni Member Samurai Waki's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    When shooting a pistol, never put your thumb on the hammer (tore my thumb off my hand when I was 15 and had to have it reattached)... Don't think I've shot a pistol since.

  27. #27

    Default Re: Foolishness

    Oh so many:

    Never check the chamfer on the piece of steel you just milled with your thumb - Lost tip of finger

    Never cycle home after 6 double vodka's - broken shoulder

    Never push your mums shopping down the conveyor belt in Tesco's - 3" Scar on right palm

    Magnets on TV screens make pretty colours but don't do much for the picture afterwards - New TV

    And not forgetting the old favourite, if it looks too high/far/heavy/wide/deep then it probably is.

    In my defence most of these were when I was younger, let's hope age brings the much vaunted wisdom

    Maybe the best, or worst, was someone I worked with:

    When you wear a harness it's better to clip it on rather than fall 75 foot hitting a girder every 6 feet - Broken Back

  28. #28
    ............... Member Scurvy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    never walk into to one of those automatic doors when theres a "closed sign" outside, it really hurts....

  29. #29
    Come to daddy Member Geoffrey S's Avatar
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    Default Re: Foolishness

    When driving around Greece in a bus two years ago with school whenever I stood up I hit my head on the bagage rack above me. Would have thought I'd learn after the first few times, but no.

    Chap in my year skates a lot, but had grown somewhat during the holidays which changes the necessary technique. Not once, but twice when taking a bend he stabbed himself in the back of the foot with his other skate, the second time rather deeply; can't skate for a while now.
    "The facts of history cannot be purely objective, since they become facts of history only in virtue of the significance attached to them by the historian." E.H. Carr

  30. #30

    Default Re: Foolishness

    When replacing the power switch for the electric shower, always make sure there isn't a seperate fuse switch for it, maybe hidden up above the mains switch for the rest of the electric appliances. If you fail this simple test then at least don't pull the switch box over the exposed wires which brings them into contact with each other. If you fail that test then whatever you do, try and miss the sink on your way backwards across the bathroom....

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