Quote Originally Posted by Wardo
"WE WANT PATCH! WE WANT PATCH! WE WANT PATCH!"

An angry mob surrounds the EB headquarters, bricks, rocks and fireworks blast through the windows, TA is hit in the head and dies instantly, splattering blood all over his office. QwertyMIDX cries like a little baby on the corner of the room, sucking his thumb, with peed pants.

Ranika knows a revolution when he sees one, and he knows the situation is about to get out of control. "We need to put an end to this crisis, if we cannot give them what they want, we must at least distract them long enough to give us time to evacuate through the hidden emergency tunnel." - sentenced Ranika.

Khelvan, the Supreme fearless God of EB, knew what he had to do - "I'm the captain of this boat, and I'm sinking with it. You must all go now, I'll delay the barbarians". But he knew he didn't had the patch, it was all a lie, but even if he had it, what would happen if he caved in to the demands of the savage mob? Give them a finger and they'll rip off your arm, what would they demand next? A port to 1.5 in less than 3 days?

So he thought of something else, Khelvan bravely marched through the narrow corridors of the EB Mansion, ducking from time to time to avoid the pointy, sharp rocks that flew all around zooming through the windows. He approached the balcony and heard the loud angry cries from below.

"DEATH TO EB!" - the vandals shouted while burning EB flags.

Khelvan sneaked to the balcony, took a deep breathe, and rose as a valiant, brave knight.

"Fans of EB! Hear me!" - announced Khelvan.

The crowd suddenly froze, there was absolute silence, except for the sound of the burning flags, and some random screams from EB members who were hit by harmfull objects. But it was silent enough. And then, the crowd finally realized it was Khelvan, their God, and they bursted in joy.

"Khelvan! Khelvan! I love you! Marry me!" - said one of the protesters.

"My loyal worshippers, you gave your blood, your gold and your life for me. For that I am grateful. Without you, EB wouldn't be possible. I have promised a Patch, and I will give you a Patch."

The mob cheered.

"And now I present you, the PATCH!" - And then Khelvan took this out of his pocket and lifted it high in the air.

"Ooooooh! It can't be! He came out of the closet!" - said one of the mobsters.

Flames sparkled in the eyes of every protester, they have been fooled, by Khelvan, their God was a fraud. Before Khelvan knew it a throwing dagger hit him in the crotch - "Yeouch!" - he cried.

Then he heard someone scream - "That's what you get for modeling naked fanatics without Tiger-pattern thongs!".

He looked down at his crotch in severe pain and noticed something had been chopped off.

"Don't worry Khelvan, that's what you always wanted, now your sex change surgery will be cheaper" - said Ranika, offering his hand to Khelvan, who was now kneeling at the floor in pain - "Come now, it's time for us to leave".

And since then, nobody heard anything from Khelvan, EB or the Patch ever again.
at what point does bartix help?