EB news - Sunday, February 19

[khelvan]

Uhoh, you started a download before the patch announcement went up? Heh heh, be prepared for a surprise....

[Kull]

Wait, so are the links in the EB site...for the patch? Or am I downloading something that equates to an inside joke I am not aware of?

smart guy.....

[Ambiorix]

So he started downloading from the bad links you guys had posted for like 5 seconds? Mighty fast of him.

[We all need someone]

now this is getting so cloak and dagger I can't look away...

Khelvan is so sexy and sly...

[Dooz]

Might one enlighten us of what the 'inside joke' early download was? Mighty curious. And I'm no cat.

[khelvan]

Nothing, I just wanted to say that. To amuse myself.

We updated the downloads page before I got the announcement up. What can I say, Paul is an eager beaver.

[Trithemius]

Oh. My. God.

There, I have deleted every single post that had anything to do with coasts. I trust we can all move past this now and not act like five-year-olds any longer?

"My post was deleted but his post was not!"

I hate it when I miss a flamewar. :(

[Simmons]

Any more crap like that and I will make sure that we only put the patch up on hosts where we can ban those IP addresses from downloading the patch.

Don't think I won't do it. Your posts have been deleted and you had best cut it out before I get angry.

khelvan I'm sorry if anything I said caused any annoyance I thank you and the whole EB team for the new patch downloading it now.

I'm gonna be stuffed for work tomorrow

[booker]

If you want to wait another month for us to put together all the texture/model fixes and such which we wanted to do, we could do that.

The point was to get something out as quickly as possible, and then add a lot of content later. Not everyone has a fast connection, so we'll update a lot of the packed content later, in the next full release.

Sorry i didn´t know it will take you more time to include those, i though you already have them, and the only reason why you didn´t include them on the patch was because the Internet Speed connection.

[Ludens]

"WE WANT PATCH! WE WANT PATCH! WE WANT PATCH!"

An angry mob surrounds the EB headquarters, bricks, rocks and fireworks blast through the windows, TA is hit in the head and dies instantly, splattering blood all over his office. QwertyMIDX cries like a little baby on the corner of the room, sucking his thumb, with peed pants.

Ranika knows a revolution when he sees one, and he knows the situation is about to get out of control. "We need to put an end to this crisis, if we cannot give them what they want, we must at least distract them long enough to give us time to evacuate through the hidden emergency tunnel." - sentenced Ranika.

Khelvan, the Supreme fearless God of EB, knew what he had to do - "I'm the captain of this boat, and I'm sinking with it. You must all go now, I'll delay the barbarians". But he knew he didn't had the patch, it was all a lie, but even if he had it, what would happen if he caved in to the demands of the savage mob? Give them a finger and they'll rip off your arm, what would they demand next? A port to 1.5 in less than 3 days?

So he thought of something else, Khelvan bravely marched through the narrow corridors of the EB Mansion, ducking from time to time to avoid the pointy, sharp rocks that flew all around zooming through the windows. He approached the balcony and heard the loud angry cries from below.

"DEATH TO EB!" - the vandals shouted while burning EB flags.

Khelvan sneaked to the balcony, took a deep breathe, and rose as a valiant, brave knight.

"Fans of EB! Hear me!" - announced Khelvan.

The crowd suddenly froze, there was absolute silence, except for the sound of the burning flags, and some random screams from EB members who were hit by harmfull objects. But it was silent enough. And then, the crowd finally realized it was Khelvan, their God, and they bursted in joy.

"Khelvan! Khelvan! I love you! Marry me!" - said one of the protesters.

"My loyal worshippers, you gave your blood, your gold and your life for me. For that I am grateful. Without you, EB wouldn't be possible. I have promised a Patch, and I will give you a Patch."

The mob cheered.

"And now I present you, the PATCH!" - And then Khelvan took this out of his pocket and lifted it high in the air.

"Ooooooh! It can't be! He came out of the closet!" - said one of the mobsters.

Flames sparkled in the eyes of every protester, they have been fooled, by Khelvan, their God was a fraud. Before Khelvan knew it a throwing dagger hit him in the crotch - "Yeouch!" - he cried.

Then he heard someone scream - "That's what you get for modeling naked fanatics without Tiger-pattern thongs!".

He looked down at his crotch in severe pain and noticed something had been chopped off.

"Don't worry Khelvan, that's what you always wanted, now your sex change surgery will be cheaper" - said Ranika, offering his hand to Khelvan, who was now kneeling at the floor in pain - "Come now, it's time for us to leave".

And since then, nobody heard anything from Khelvan, EB or the Patch ever again.

I suddenly remembered that this wasn't the first time the EB HQ was stormed. You'd think they would have been more prepared this time...

Seriously, does anybody remember that old thread? I could find the "Truth about EB" topic, but I seems to recall an even older one.

[khelvan]

Read the thread if you want to know why I deleted posts. If you have something you want to discuss, send me a PM. Don't post that sort of thing publically. It does not help the situation.

[Elthore]

?! why is my talk about the coasts immature? I believe when you posted "I like traffic lights" in that other thread outta nowhere just a while ago, you beat me. Feel free to PM me, im genuienly interested in your reasoning. As im sure you've read the rules for these forums, you must know what you're doing can be reprimanded.

sorry, saw your're edit after this post...but you realize, you could have PMed me as well.

[khelvan]

I deleted all talk about coasts because people kept complaining that the flame war which it led to was caused by successive posts further and further back.

I have the discretion to delete flame wars, and I deleted this one, and all posts that led to it. It has nothing to do with you, spam, or off topic posts. If you had bothered to find out what was happening before posting publically about how rude I was for deleting them then perhaps you might have understood what happened and not spoken out of ignorance.

So now, on top of a flame war I have to deal with this. Wonderful.

Edit: I don't have time to PM everyone who has his feelings hurt. Sorry, but I'm not here to walk on eggshells, I'm here to do my job and to try and deal with a patch that has a real problem. If you have an issue, contact me. I'm not going to send individual PM's to 10 people who had their posts deleted. If you couldn't figure out that there was a flamewar which I had to delete I can't help it. Logically you should have deduced that since I NEVER delete "spam" posts, but do delete troll posts and flame wars, that this was a flame war, given my comments. In any case, feel free to challenge me in private and deal with this in a civil manner in the future.

[Elthore]

How am i supposed to know of this flame war if it was all deleted?!
think man, think!
I was under the impression that you had only deleted the 4 posts i had seen.

You need to get off your high horse and let people enjoy EB. Maybe you could let someone with experience moderating a higher traffic forum deal with it instead of yourself.

[khelvan]

Please, if you are going to be insulted and take things personally, I suggest you find a forum where the posters and moderators are much less "mean," and do not create the "unpleasant posting environment" that we obviously have here with EB.

Because, of course, my goal is to make everyone's experience both posting here and playing EB unenjoyable.

[Trithemius]

Because, of course, my goal is to make everyone's experience both posting here and playing EB unenjoyable.

Khelvan's tyrannical oppression on the forums is simply a sideline. His masterplan is to get everyone addicted to EB, and then cut us all off.
A truly diabolic work of malign genius!

I propose a motion to lock this thread before people become more aggravated?

[khelvan]

Good suggestion. This thread has been nothing but trouble from the beginning.