Some Short Stories

[AntiochusIII]

Hey! I'm taking 'em too!

...but my Creative Writing class is rather...chaotic. Let's just say I wrote more essays than stories, and they are often of sarcastic nature by my horribly Juvenalian pen (I write like that in bad mood, or depression, or just frantic exhaustion at all the homeworks -- it, of course, pleases those masochistic teachers), or basic topics like "Idols," "Movie Review," etc., which aren't really of an interest beyond grades and the analysis of my mastery of composition.

As for the story, it is an excellent work. Be careful, though, as some paragraphs don't transfer well. For example, between She felt her lungs begin to burn as she ran out of air and Republic-issue mechanics’ coveralls had several safety features designed for emergencies the reader might be confused at first at what happened to the character and why it suddenly transferred into an explanatory mode; the narrative occasionally becomes unclear of what it tries to tell. But of course, I couldn't do better myself. And, strangely, I think the short stories I tried to write for the classes sucks horribly, while this one of yours is excellent; those pieces of mine seem, somehow, forced and limited, like they want to be more but they couldn't. You'd do well not to fall in my trap and let it all go out, as this story still require some extra narrative before the end.