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  1. #1
    The Breath of God Member Divine Wind's Avatar
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    Default In the Beginning, there was the computer...

    In the beginning there was the computer. And God said
    c:\>Let there be light!
    Enter user id.
    c:\>God
    Enter password.
    c:\>Omniscient
    Password incorrect. Try again.
    c:\>Omnipotent
    Password incorrect. Try again.
    c:\>Technocrat
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
    c:\>Let there be light!
    Unrecognizable command. Try again.
    c:\>Create light
    Done
    c:\>Run heaven and earth
    And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
    c:\>Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light.
    Unrecognizable command. Try again.
    c:\>Create firmament
    Done.
    c:\>Run firmament
    And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
    c:\>Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one
    place and let the dry land appear and
    Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
    c:\>Create dry_land
    Done.
    c:\>Run firmament
    And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
    c:\>Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
    Unspecified type. Try again.
    c:\>Create sun_moon_stars
    Done
    c:\>Run sun_moon_stars
    And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled
    over the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night.
    And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
    c:\>Create fish
    Done
    c:\>Create fowl
    Done
    c:\>Run fish, fowl
    And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature
    that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its
    kind and every winged fowl after its kind.
    And God saw there were 0 errors.
    And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
    And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
    c:\>Create cattle
    Done
    c:\>Create creepy_things
    Done
    c:\>Now let us make man in our image
    Unspecified type. Try again.
    c:\>Create man
    Done
    c:\>Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and
    subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea
    and over the fowl of the air and over every living
    thing that creepeth upon the earth
    Too many command operands. Try again.
    c:\>Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 6 errors.
    c:\>Insert breath
    Done
    c:\>Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 5 errors.
    c:\>Move man to Garden of Eden
    File Garden of Eden does not exist.
    c:\>Create Garden.edn
    Done
    c:\>Move man to Garden.edn
    Done
    c:\>Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 4 errors.
    c:\>Copy woman from man
    Done
    c:\>Run multiplication
    Execution terminated. 2 errors.
    c:\>Create desire
    Done
    c:\>Run multiplication
    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
    c:\>Create freewill
    Done
    c:\>Run freewill
    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
    c:\>Undo desire
    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
    c:\>Destroy freewill
    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
    c:\>Help
    Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
    c:\>Create tree_of_knowledge
    And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
    Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
    c:\>Create good, evil
    Done
    c:\>Activate evil
    And God saw he had created shame.
    Warning system error in sector E95.
    Man and woman not in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
    c:\>Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
    Search failed.
    c:\>Delete shame
    Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
    c:\>Destroy freewill
    Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
    Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
    c:\>Stop
    Unrecognizable command. Try again
    c:\>Break
    c:\>Break
    c:\>Break
    ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING
    DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE
    MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
    c:\>Create new world
    You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy
    old files before new ones can be created.
    c:\>Destroy earth
    Destroy earth: Please confirm.
    c:\>Destroy earth confirmed
    COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME
    SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
    And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.

    On March 8, God created the Macintosh.
    "To fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.
    -Sun Tzu, the Art of War




  2. #2
    Narcissist Member Zalmoxis's Avatar
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    Default Re: In the Beginning, there was the computer...

    Quote Originally Posted by Divine Wind
    On March 8, God created the Macintosh.
    And so humans were never created. The end. Great story, btw.
    "Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." - John Kenneth Galbraith

  3. #3
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: In the Beginning, there was the computer...


  4. #4
    The Usual Member Ice's Avatar
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    Default Re: In the Beginning, there was the computer...

    Quote Originally Posted by Zorba
    Why the hostility?



  5. #5
    Hǫrðar Member Viking's Avatar
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    Default Re: In the Beginning, there was the computer...

    Quote Originally Posted by ghost908
    Why the hostility?
    Isn`t it like:

    In the beginning, there was Zorba....



    ?
    Runes for good luck:

    [1 - exp(i*2π)]^-1

  6. #6
    Probably Drunk Member Reverend Joe's Avatar
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    Default Re: In the Beginning, there was the computer...

    Quote Originally Posted by ghost908
    Why the hostility?
    Honestly? I forget.

    But I think it had something to do with my hatred of the Macintosh. (The computer, not the fruit.)

    Edit: oh... that was yesterday... wow, I thought I wrote that about a week ago or something...

  7. #7
    The Usual Member Ice's Avatar
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    Default Re: In the Beginning, there was the computer...

    Quote Originally Posted by Zorba
    Honestly? I forget.

    But I think it had something to do with my hatred of the Macintosh. (The computer, not the fruit.)

    Edit: oh... that was yesterday... wow, I thought I wrote that about a week ago or something...
    Haha.

    Btw, i noticed it was your birthday today. Happy birthday!



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