"We that are strong ought to bear up the infirmities of the weak, and not please ourselves" - The Bible

Something like that... Nobody would expect a starving, Somalian kid with HIV to help Bill Gates when he's caught a cold, while everybody expects Bill Gates to give at least something to charity such as research against HIV. If you don't want to give, don't give. But those you give help to now and haven't bombed recently will thank you later when/if you would go through a real crisis. The Katrina hurricane, which I assume is the case you're mainly talking about, couldn't have been handled that much better if other countries had helped, I'm afraid. It's your decision if you want to keep giving aid or not.