Top Ten rejected units for MTW 2

**Forward Observer** · 03-11-2006, 21:20

Units that you will probably not see in Medieval 2

1. The Silly Saxons—In spite of their secret weapon---the Holy Hand Grenade—they are still just too silly!—wink, wink, nudge, nudge!
2. The Burger Kings---They fight well but die way too early from clogged arteries
3. The Dukes of Earl---nothing can touch the Dukes of Earl--bom-diddy, bom-diddy-bomb--ditty-bomb--(you will only get this if you are an old fart like me)
4. The Red-necked Toothless, Booger eatin' Yahoos---from medieval--and modern Arkansas.
5. Prince Albert in the can---I know there is a joke in there somewhere, but I didn't have time to figure it out because of prank phone calls all evening.
6. The Swiss Army knifemen---very versatile unit---good at defense, plus they can open a can, pop a cork on a bottle, cut any type of paper, and pick your teeth at the same time.
7. The Knights of Columbus—Muncie chapter clown car unit---their turn out at last year’s Thanksgiving Day parade was an absolute hoot.
8. The Keebler Highlander Elves, Un-mounted---not great fighters, but their fudge dipped haggis brownies are to die for.
9. The Girls from Hooters (mounted I think)
10. The Romanian Royal Rump Rangers—could be a great unit, but it is impossible to keep them from mounting each other

Cheers

P.S. No small farm animals nor clowns were hurt while composing this post.

**aw89** · 03-12-2006, 01:23

You forgot 11

11. Black adder super-spy\assassin - 20% chance to succeed, if not:

1. 45% Dies himself
2. 45% Kills nearest lord, prince or King of your faction.
3. 10% option one and two

**Dooz** · 03-12-2006, 23:08

Heh heh... swiss army knifemen and mounted hooters girls...

**Seasoned Alcoholic** · 03-13-2006, 00:02

Originally Posted by Forward Observer

5. Prince Albert in the can---I know there is a joke in there somewhere, but I didn't have time to figure it out because of prank phone calls all evening.

They used that joke in Stephen King's IT. Pennywise the (dancing) Clown (Tim Curry) used that gag, something like:

"Excuse me sir, do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do? Well you'd better let the poor guy out! W'HA, W'HA, W'HA!"

It was a horror film with comical elements thrown in there, I thought it was quite funny most of the way through, probably because of Tim Curry's very good performance. The rest of the actors were pretty crap tbh, Curry stole the show

**Sir Robin** · 03-13-2006, 05:04

Originally Posted by Forward Observer

Units that you will probably not see in Medieval 2
9. The Girls from Hooters (mounted I think)

That is one morale boosting unit I could live with.

You forgot the Knights Who Say Ni who can only be countered by the Shrubber specialist unit.

Oh to have the maidens of Castle Anthrax... that is a peril I can face.

**Trajanus** · 03-13-2006, 06:51

haha yeah I could do with some of the maidens from castle Anthrax!

**Furious Mental** · 03-13-2006, 10:38

Can't have Blackadder without Baldrick. He wouldn't do much- just say "I have a cunning plan"

**matteus the inbred** · 03-13-2006, 12:11

Originally Posted by Sir Robin

That is one morale boosting unit I could live with.

You forgot the Knights Who Say Ni who can only be countered by the Shrubber specialist unit.

Oh to have the maidens of Castle Anthrax... that is a peril I can face.

lol, the biggest missed opportunity in CA's history! i can just hear the little 'ni' sound effects now. 12 man units of monks hitting themselves in the head with wooden boards and singing would also be appreciated. or maybe even the Judaean People's Front crack suicide squad.

the girls from Hooters are probably the most disappointing omission in my view.

**Gtafanboy** · 03-13-2006, 12:38

Originally Posted by Seasoned Alcoholic

They used that joke in Stephen King's IT. Pennywise the (dancing) Clown (Tim Curry) used that gag, something like:

"Excuse me sir, do you have Prince Albert in a can? You do? Well you'd better let the poor guy out! W'HA, W'HA, W'HA!"

It was a horror film with comical elements thrown in there, I thought it was quite funny most of the way through, probably because of Tim Curry's very good performance. The rest of the actors were pretty crap tbh, Curry stole the show

Book was better...

**Mikeus Caesar** · 03-13-2006, 18:29

Originally Posted by matteus the inbred

lol, the biggest missed opportunity in CA's history! i can just hear the little 'ni' sound effects now. 12 man units of monks hitting themselves in the head with wooden boards and singing would also be appreciated. or maybe even the Judaean People's Front crack suicide squad.

Well, since they did include the Judean people's front as mercenaries in RTW, it definately wouldn't surprise me if we saw the Knights of Ni in MTW2.

And more 'all your base' jokes from diplomats...

**Seasoned Alcoholic** · 03-13-2006, 19:42

Originally Posted by Gtafanboy

Book was better...

I've never read the book, although people who have read it told me that the film left a few things out / distort the plot as most films tend to do

However, the film goes on for almost 4 hours doesn't it? After its been through each characters' flashbacks in childhood, you've already done about 2 hours, bit of a marathon

**NodachiSam** · 03-13-2006, 20:20

Originally Posted by currywurry

Well, since they did include the Judean people's front as mercenaries in RTW, it definately wouldn't surprise me if we saw the Knights of Ni in MTW2.

And more 'all your base' jokes from diplomats...

(I bolded it)
Seriously?

( I don't have RTW yet)

**Gtafanboy** · 03-13-2006, 21:11

Originally Posted by Seasoned Alcoholic

I've never read the book, although people who have read it told me that the film left a few things out / distort the plot as most films tend to do

However, the film goes on for almost 4 hours doesn't it? After its been through each characters' flashbacks in childhood, you've already done about 2 hours, bit of a marathon

This isn't to say I didn't like the film. I did. It scared me to death. Why? Because Pennywise isn't really a clown, he is a creature that is taking form of a clown, he doesn't really have feelings, he just wants to eat. SPOILERS!!!!

In the book you find out that "It" is an alien.

**Evil_Maniac From Mars** · 03-14-2006, 18:19

Or the Dreaded Black Beast of Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhh....

Who dies when the cartoonist suffers a fatal heart attack.

**matteus the inbred** · 03-14-2006, 18:33

Originally Posted by evil_maniac from mars

Or the hundred eyed monster...
Who dies when the cartoonist suffers a fatal heart attack.

It's the Dreaded Black Beast of Aaaaaaaaarg!! i think the Rabbit would be good as well. A Jedi unit if there ever was one.

**Ludens** · 03-14-2006, 21:26

Originally Posted by NodachiSam

Originally Posted by currywurry

Well, since they did include the Judean people's front as mercenaries in RTW, it definately wouldn't surprise me if we saw the Knights of Ni in MTW2.

Seriously?

( I don't have RTW yet)

R:TW included a unit of Judean Zealots, whose description quite plainly referred to "Life of Brain". They are rebel-only units that look pretty much like Desert infantry but with greater numbers and more offensive stats. I wasn't particularly impressed by them the few times I met them in the field, but they never really stood a chance anyway. Historically, Judea produced quite a few fierce soldiers; but during the siege of Jerusalem they seemed more concerned with fighting each other than fighting the Romans.

**phred** · 03-14-2006, 21:53

How about the Holy Grenadiers of Antioch
from Monty Python's Holy Grail:
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'

**littlebktruck** · 03-14-2006, 21:59

I hear they narrowly turned down screeching racoons with jetpacks. You know, for all the NASCAR fans.

**Menelmacar** · 03-15-2006, 01:55

Holy cow, just almost died laughing while reading this thread.

This forum is truly missing on some important emoticons! Something like a smiley falling off a chair or bursting in tears of laughter... maybe this one:

Anyhow, since we're at the topic - as I've understood, there's also not going to be any splitting of years into seasons in MTW2... Does that mean that summer will not change back into winter, and that winter will not give spring and summer a miss and go straight on into autumn?

**Puzz3D** · 03-15-2006, 18:58

12) Made to Order footware units. These units have really long marching capability.

13) Hospitable Knights. They show up as units friendly to the enemy, and once behind an enemy unit switch sides and attack from behind.

14) Knights Temple. These guys are only effective in cities which contain muslim or jewish temples.

15) Rushing spearmen have no walking capability. They have to run everywhere.

16) Halburton polearms. Cost twice as much but -5 combat bonus due to inferior workmanship and materials.

17) Conquistador. Each one can kill 500 Aztec indians.

18) Futile men-at-arms. They always loose.

19) Stepped on Cav. These guys have to fight on foot because their horses were trampled by the infantry.

**matteus the inbred** · 03-15-2006, 19:06

Originally Posted by Menelmacar

Anyhow, since we're at the topic - as I've understood, there's also not going to be any splitting of years into seasons in MTW2... Does that mean that summer will not change back into winter, and that winter will not give spring and summer a miss and go straight on into autumn?

Originally Posted by Puzz3D

12) 13) Hospitable Knights. They show up as units friendly to the enemy, and once behind an enemy unit switch sides and attack from behind.

Am now helpless in my chair as this thread is killing me...

Of course, no one expects the...SPANISH INQUISITION!
i know, we already have them. but they should have a video clip based on that sketch.

**Ludens** · 03-15-2006, 19:07

Originally Posted by Puzz3D

12) Made to Order footware units. These units have really long marching capability.

(...)

16) Halburton polearms. Cost twice as much but -5 combat bonus due to inferior workmanship and materials.

**lar** · 03-16-2006, 13:05

French Paladins: starts battle already in rout

or something similar

**Vladimir** · 03-16-2006, 14:14

Originally Posted by lar

French Paladins: starts battle already in rout

or something similar

Run away, run away!!!!!!!!

Instead of RTWs screaming women we should have the taunting Frenchmen.

**matteus the inbred** · 03-16-2006, 15:36

Originally Posted by Vladimir

Run away, run away!!!!!!!!

Instead of RTWs screaming women we should have the taunting Frenchmen.

altogether now 'your muzzer waz a 'amster and your farzer smelt of elderberries! ah fart in your general direction!'

taunting frenchman and 'trojan rabbits' in sieges would make them much more amusing.