The creation of the Universe.

[doc_bean]

He walked on water, he ascended into the sky, and he healed the hurt and sick because God was within him. He was human, yes, but he also was a very powerful vessel used by God.

So humans should all be able to do what Jesus did...

[_Martyr_]

hmm.. this begining to get all spaghetti monstery...

[mystic brew]

[QUOTE=ZainDustin
Yes, they are definently open to criticisms. But, if you think about it. If you compare the bible to scientific studies, the Bible was composed by a divine God. Scientific studies were composed by humans, who will never be perfect, and are hardly correct.[/QUOTE]

this is circular logic though... it's using the bible's divinity as being evidence for it's truth. I'm sure you see the problem.

[Zain]

If a human had enough faith in God, and God wanted him to, he could walk on the water. Paul walked on the water, towards Jesus.

[Zain]

It's divinity is because it is the Word of God.

[InsaneApache]

Prove it.

[Zain]

I, myself, can't. But, neither can YOU disprove it.

[doc_bean]

I, myself, can't. But, neither can YOU disprove it.

Disprove the existence of Santa Clause if you can...

[InsaneApache]

Why should I disprove something that doesn't exist?

[Papewaio]

I, myself, can't. But, neither can YOU disprove it.

And you can't disprove dragons, fairies, other gods, etc etc.

So which is more real leprachauns at the bottom of your garden or God? You cannot disprove either...

[Zain]

Leprechauns can be disproven. Of course, I don't know much about them anyway. If they are supposed to be living on Earth, they can be disproven, or proven. Although, these things were made up before actual evidence of their existance was found.

-ZainDustin

[InsaneApache]

Leprechauns can be disproven. Of course, I don't know much about them anyway. If they are supposed to be living on Earth, they can be disproven, or proven. Although, these things were made up before actual evidence of their existance was found.

-ZainDustin

Go on then. Disprove them.

Although, these things were made up before actual evidence of their existance was found.

a lot like God then.

[BDC]

My god, who's existance is proven by this holy book He sent me, says your god doesn't exist.

He also supports chocolate ice-cream being a compulsary food.

[BDC]

My god, who's existance is proven by this holy book He sent me, says your god doesn't exist.

He also supports chocolate ice-cream being a compulsary food.

[Zain]

what God do you serve BDC?

[mystic brew]

It's divinity is because it is the Word of God.

there's that circular logic again. here is the word of god, in the form of the bible. how do we know it's the word of god? because the bible tells us it is the word of god...

as i said, i'm sure you see the problem

[Big_John]

what God do you serve BDC?

clearly, he serves the god of double posts.

[InsaneApache]

Indeed.

[Divinus Arma]

An image says a thousand words ...



I don't really bother with what came before.

SEE YOU THERE BIG DADDY!


If hell existed, then humanity should not exist. Why? I love my unborn children enough not to have them in order to save them from even a
.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% chance of going to hell.

Let's look at the relationship between risk and benefit, shall we:

Chance of going to hell: .000000000000000000000001%.
Time spent in hell:99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999 to the power of 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999 years. And then some.

Point being, even a teeny tiny risk of damning my children to hell makes it worthwhile not to have them in order to spare them from eternal suffering.

THUS, the concept of hell is contrary to human survival. Becaue my this logic, no would ever have children and the human race would end.

[Mongoose]

People always think that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is only a joke. I think that's unfair and rather ignorant.

Apparently we are seen as more of a joke - satire, if you will - than a real religion. I, for one, am offended. I feel that my constitutionally guaranteed freedom of religious belief is being unfairly discriminated against.

-Our prophet.

This is the time that I reveal my real religion: I'm a pastafatiran(sp?). We beleive that if schools teach ID, then they should also give an equal amount of time to our theory.

We even have a chart that shows that the number of pirates is related to the amount of global warming. In other words, the rising global temperature is a direct result of not enough people dressing in his holy garb.

But I'm sure that most of you have heard this already. Why do you think that our God is the false one?

[Zain]

People always think that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is only a joke. I think that's unfair and rather ignorant.


-Our prophet.

This is the time that I reveal my real religion: I'm a pastafatiran(sp?). We beleive that if schools teach ID, then they should also give an equal amount of time to our theory.

We even have a chart that shows that the number of pirates is related to the amount of global warming. In other words, the rising global temperature is a direct result of not enough people dressing in his holy garb.

But I'm sure that most of you have heard this already. Why do you think that our God is the false one?

I've never heard of that religion. What does it believe?

-ZainDustin

[Papewaio]

Christian's jobs are to lead people to God, and believe everything in the bible. The bible says that the Universe was created by God's hand, so the definition of Christian is one who believes Everything in the bible. If you don't, you need help. (You meaning anyone). Christians who believe in Big Bang are definently not on the same page as God.

-ZainDustin

What an arrogant condescending thing to say.

1) You should not tell people how they may or may not practice their religion without expecting a broadside in return.

2) It is fundamentalist claptrap like that, that gives religions such a bad reputation.

3) I know plenty of Christians who have the intellectual ability to understand the Big Bang and the internal belief structure to believe in God.

4) Also most of the Christians that I know talk about have a personal relationship with their saviour Jesus Christ and that a lot of the bible is allegorical... Even Jesus uses allegorical tales... he talks about seeds finding the right ground to grow in... rocks being to barren, soil being too thin... he wasn't giving a gardening lesson, he was talking about faith.

5) The bible lists what is most important: Love... and it never lists creationism.

[Zain]

What an arrogant condescending thing to say.

1) You should not tell people how they may or may not practice their religion without expecting a broadside in return.

2) It is fundamentalist claptrap like that, that gives religions such a bad reputation.

3) I know plenty of Christians who have the intellectual ability to understand the Big Band and the internal belief structure to believe in God.

4) Also most of the Christians that I know talk about have a personal relationship with their saviour Jesus Christ and that a lot of the bible is allegorical... Even Jesus uses allegorical tales... he talks about seeds finding the right ground to grow in... rocks being to barren, soil being too thin... he wasn't giving a gardening lesson, he was talking about faith.

5) The bible lists what is most important: Love... and it never lists creationism.

Creationism isn't the most important thing, as you have said. It is about having a relation ship with your Lord, Jesus Christ. But it is a very fun thing to debate about. That's all.

-ZainDustin

[Mongoose]

I've never heard of that religion. What does it believe?

-ZainDustin

Hmm, thought that the FSM was known by almost all.

http://www.venganza.org/

It's not so much anti religion, so much as it's anti-religion-being-taught-as-science.

[Banquo's Ghost]

If a human had enough faith in God, and God wanted him to, he could walk on the water. Paul walked on the water, towards Jesus.

I'm trying ever so hard not to get involved in this debate, but the pedant in me can't overlook this one.

It wasn't Paul who allegedly walked on water and sank because of a lack of faith, it was Peter. Paul never met Jesus (not while alive, anyway).

It is exactly small typos/scribing errors like this that have been incorporated for millenia into the Bible, and add them to the translation errors and you have a very shaky basis for claiming the Bible as the actual word of God. Unless you can read Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic (with a smattering of Coptic and hieroglyphs) and have access to the original books/scrolls, any claim of the unreconstructed Word of God is flawed.

Just something to think about.

[_Martyr_]

Haruchai you cheeky divil!

[Tribesman]

I'm trying ever so hard not to get involved in this debate, but the pedant in me can't overlook this one.
Don't ya just love Zealots that don't know scripture

the definition of Christian is one who believes Everything in the bible.
So Zain , you believe in giant aliens who come to earth because they liked the food and the sex .
Slavery is the natural role for certain people because their forefather saw his dad when the old fella was drunk and naked . And oysters are bad , very bad . Rape is good , as long as you don't sell the woman afterwards . If you lose a bet then it is OK to go killing and robbing to repay that debt . Oh and genocide and ethnic cleansing are Gods will .
Do you follow the correct proceedures if you discover mildew in your house ?
So do you beleive in and follow Everything in the bible ? Or are you not really a Christian by your own definition ?

[Zain]

I'm trying ever so hard not to get involved in this debate, but the pedant in me can't overlook this one.
Don't ya just love Zealots that don't know scripture

the definition of Christian is one who believes Everything in the bible.
So Zain , you believe in giant aliens who come to earth because they liked the food and the sex .
Slavery is the natural role for certain people because their forefather saw his dad when the old fella was drunk and naked . And oysters are bad , very bad . Rape is good , as long as you don't sell the woman afterwards . If you lose a bet then it is OK to go killing and robbing to repay that debt . Oh and genocide and ethnic cleansing are Gods will .
Do you follow the correct proceedures if you discover mildew in your house ?
So do you beleive in and follow Everything in the bible ? Or are you not really a Christian by your own definition ?

It was just a typo, I knew the man that walked on water had a "P". No big deal, I guess it would be though if it was in the bible.

No, I don't do all those things because the laws and procedures changed when Jesus died on the cross. He died on the cross my everyone's sins so those things don't have to happen. The laws changed after the crusifixion, that's why the temple's cloth tore from the top to the bottom.

-ZainDustin

[InsaneApache]

[IMG][/IMG]

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse,
When you're chewing life's gristle,
Don't grumble,
Give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the light side of life.
[whistle]

If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps.
Just purse your lips and whistle.
That's the thing.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
[whistle]
Always look on the right side of life,
[whistle]

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word.
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin.
Give the audience a grin.
Enjoy it. It's your last chance, anyhow.
So,...

Always look on the bright side of death,
[whistle]
Just before you draw your terminal breath.
[whistle]

Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke it's true.
You'll see it's all a show.
Keep 'em laughing as you go.
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And...

Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
[whistle]

Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]
Always look on the bright side of life!
[whistle]

Like this?

[InsaneApache]

Or maybe this?

One of the most controversial, and some would say, scurrilous films
of the last year has been the box-office blockbuster, The General
Synod's _Life of Christ_. Sarah Gould talked to Lawrence Vironconium
- Bishop of Wroxeter, the director of the film, and Alexander Walker,
one of its stoutest critics.


The film deals with the story of the rise of a humble carpenter's
son, one Jesus Christ, to fame and greatness, but many people have
seen in the film a thinly disguised and blasphemous attack on the
life of Monty Python. Python worshippers say that it sets out to
ridicule by parody the actual members of Monty Python who even today,
of course, are worshipped throughout the Western World.


NOT!: Alexander Walker, can I ask you first, what did you think of
the film?


WALKER: It apalled me. I find it deeply offensive that, in what is

still, after all, basically a Python-worshipping country, fourteen-
year-old children can get to see this film. They get little enough
proper Python these days, without having this distorted garbage paraded
about.


NOT!: Bishop, you directed the film. Did you expect this kind of
reaction?


BISHOP: Well, I certainly didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition! Yes.
Yes, I did direct the film. And what I feel I _must_ emphasise at
once, is that it is not an attack on Python. I'm not a Pythonist
myself, but obviously I have enormous respect for people, like
Alexander, who are.


WALKER: Oh, come now bishop. The central figure in the film...
this... er...


BISHOP: Jesus Christ.


WALKER: ... thank you, this "Jesus Christ" is quite clearly a
lampoon of the comic messiah himself, Our Lord John Cleese. I mean,
look, even the initials are the same!


BISHOP: No. No, absolutely not. If I may try and explain. The Christ
figure is not meant to _be_ Cleese, he's just an ordinary person who
happens to have been born in Weston-super-Mare at the same _time_
as Mr Cleese.


WALKER: No. No, really, Lawrence, that's too...


BISHOP: And ... and, if I may finish... he is _mistaken_ for the
comic messiah by credulous people of the sort that can see something

"completely different" in anything, and who then follow him around
in vast crowds... ah... doing silly walks, and chanting No, No, Not
The Comfy Chair, and other slogans from the Good Bok itself.


NOT!: Alexander Walker - your comments on that?


WALKER: No, I'm sorry, whatever the Bishop may say, this is a highly
distasteful film. Have people forgotten how Monty Python suffered
for us? How often the sketches failed? I mean these men died for us.
Frequently.


NOT!: Bishop, turning back to you, do you not agree that the film
may affect the position of Monty Python in our spiritual life?


BISHOP: No, I hardly think so. If Python _is_ immortal (as
Pythonists believe), I'm sure a mere film...


WALKER: A tenth rate film.


BISHOP: ...I'm sure a mere film is not going to stop believers.
Remember the words of John cleese: "When two or three people are
gathered together in my name, they shall perform the Parrot Sketch..."


NOT!: Indeed. "It is an Ex-Parrot..."


ALL: "...it has Ceased To Be"


NOT!: Well, the final scene in the film has perhaps attracted the
most attention of all. Alexander Walker, a last word from you.


WALKER: Yes, well, the final scene is... is the ultimate blasphemy.
It... it is set in a hotel, in Torquay, where literally hundreds of
Spanish waiters are being clipped about the ear by this "Jesus
Christ" bloke in a ghastly cartoon of the Comic Messiah's
Greatest Half-Hour.


NOT!: Alexander Walker, thank you.


WALKER: Thank you.


NOT!: Bishop, thank you.


BISHOP: Thank you. Actually, it's not Torquay, it's Torbay.


WALKER: Oh, Torquay, Torbay, whatever. I really don't see...


NOT!: Alexander Walker, Bishop, thank you.


BOTH: Thank you.


NEXT WEEK: The Islamic New Wave.
Not! goes on location with "47 Brides for 7 Brothers"