And despite all this taking my anger out on myself, i still feel the need to commit suicide. And thus, i am currently contemplating jumping off a bridge nearby me. If i disappear completely and am not back within a month, then i'm afraid i won't be back at all.
Don't do that. We would miss you terribly, and lots of others would too I imagine. Talk to your friends and familiy, they will help. And do you have any reason to be depressed and is outside your head?