Well, i'm back. Sort of.

[R'as al Ghul]

And despite all this taking my anger out on myself, i still feel the need to commit suicide. And thus, i am currently contemplating jumping off a bridge nearby me. If i disappear completely and am not back within a month, then i'm afraid i won't be back at all.

I'm not a friend of suicide. It's cowardice.
But I empathize with you and do believe that your problems are serious if you contemplate it. It's my experience that talking about the reasons for your feeling can already make you feel better because someone knows and you've uttered it. As long as you're the only one who knows the nature of your problem is a secret and you won't feel the need to change yourself. If somebody knows there's no point in hiding and chances are you will start to deal with it and change your mind.
You could talk with a relative or a friend. I don't know your age or your relation with your parents but I know from myself that my parents aren't my first choice in matters like this. Fortunately I've a girlfriend who can help me.
And you have some of the finest people, the orgahs, to help you out.
The only thing you need to do is to "confess", tell us everything. Tell us how you feel and most importantly "why?". Chances are that some of us have experienced your problems before and can share some thoughts. Of course, every individual has to find a personal way but you'd be surprised how similar our thoughts, fears and anger are. Plus, you've told someone.

Keep in touch.

[Byzantine Mercenary]

st johns wort is supposed to be good for depresion, its an ilness like any other, don't let it kill you

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

st johns wort is supposed to be good for depresion, its an ilness like any other, don't let it kill you

Or he could take, y'know...medicine that actually works...

[Geoffrey S]

Talk to people. It really, really helps if you choose the right person, don't worry about not being taken seriously; most time people can consider it an honour that you'd confide in them about such things and are more than willing to help. If it really is too hard to talk to relatives and such about this extensively, try telling us here. It might help, or it might make it easier to talk to others about your problem. But never, ever keep it to yourself, that only ends up building up pressure.

Try to take your mind off wanting to hurt yourself. I do know it's hard, but in the end you do have to break through the cycle. Force yourself to do other activities. Maybe pick up a hobby, something that takes your mind off things: Papewaio's advice of taking up a sport as a substitute to wanting to hurt yourself is certainly excellent. It's tough breaking out of such a cycle, but you have to at some point before it gets worse.

Listen to the advice of others, and take doctors and suchlike seriously. If they are to help, you have to be willing to listen.

Best wishes. And for God's sake, please don't listen to too much Nick Drake!

[Byzantine Mercenary]

Or he could take, y'know...medicine that actually works...

well ive heard that it is very effective and many conventional anti depresants have side effects and are treating the symptoms rather then the cause

[LeftEyeNine]

well ive heard that it is very effective and many conventional anti depresants have side effects and are treating the symptoms rather then the cause

The cause -as long as it is not of an organic defect in the brain- can not be cured by taking a pill and sitting down on your ***. There is a general description that what is seen as "depression" is only the part of the iceberg above the water.

What's more, the anti-depressants are known to be the most suspicious drugs that really cure or not. They need intensive clinic tests with placebos to determine their efficiency before getting an approval.

[Mikeus Caesar]

I don't know why, but i just went mad last night and caused a large gash down my left forearm. One advantage of it is that having this bandage on for a few weeks should prevent me from cutting there anymore. Who knows, i might stop cutting altogether. Which will be good.

(picture of the bandage on my arm, no blood or anything)

(No pics my friend, we already discussed this - Beirut)

[Craterus]

Your parents? They must know, right? What are they doing to help you through this?

[Byzantine Mercenary]

The cause -as long as it is not of an organic defect in the brain- can not be cured by taking a pill and sitting down on your ***. There is a general description that what is seen as "depression" is only the part of the iceberg above the water.

What's more, the anti-depressants are known to be the most suspicious drugs that really cure or not. They need intensive clinic tests with placebos to determine their efficiency before getting an approval.

i know and i wouldn't suggest just taking it and then doing nothing else, it was only an idea.

[Axeknight]

Now here's a top tip: next time you feel like cutting yourself, take an icecube. Hell, take several. Hold it in the palm of your hand and squeeze it til you've crushed it. Same feeling of release, but you're not hurting yourself.