I have a similar problem. An entire generation of my nobiles became usless generals, and exemplary administrators. Also nearly half became blasphemous and morose so that thier presense on the bttlefield was counterproductive. I have had only one good general yet, Vibius Secundus Africanus. Concured so. italy, scicily, corsica, sardinia, spain, and africa, and spent 20 year fighting the Ptolemies. He dies as a 3 star general, after gaining the "seen the elephant" trait sometime in his 30s. No I have 43 family members and not a single command star.