Dating Topics/Tips

[Sjakihata]

All right, here's the deal. I've met this good looking and intelligent girl, we stayed up chatting till about 6 in the morning in a local studenthouse bar - and we agreed to meet again. Luckily I managed to get hold of her number (I forgot to ask when we chatted, doh) and now we are meeting monday.
So my question is, what sort of topics are considered normal to talk about at such dates? (a footnote: im not the big dater, these set up sort of dates, actually Ive never dated in such a way) So I have no clue what girls expect you to talk about? I guess what Im really asking is that you share your experiences with me plus a good portion of suggestions.

Thanks for the help guys! I know I can always count on you :)

Ps. Yes, Im crazy about her.

[solypsist]

this is beginning to feel like the j-drama Densha Otoko.

[doc_bean]

Listen to her, women like to hear themselves talk.

Avoid talking about work or school, avoid political topics (with most girls anyway), avoid videogames (unless she's into them maybe, still not sure).

If you've traveled a bit, talk about that, it will make you seem worldly

[English assassin]

Read the newspapers over the weekend and have a few current affairs topics ready, preferably nothing too dry, and nothing on which you have outlandish opinions.

Travel is good. Where you would like to go will do if your haven't actually been anywhere so long as it might actually happen rather than being a sad fantasy. Films books and music also good (but see outlandish opinions, avoidance of, above).

She's meant to be having fun so avoid anything depressing.

And don't feel the need to carry the conversation yourself. If its going well she'll do her share. If its not going well give yourself a polite out and quite rather than babbling to fill the silence.

[yesdachi]

Location is always a good talking point. Ask her about where she grew up (for conversation sake hopefully it’s not where you grew up) and places she would like to travel to someday.

Topics to avoid:
Butt size
Past girlfriends
Video games
Anything gross like warts, toenail fungus, Hillary Clinton, etc.
The fact that you asked for advice from the .org

And if things start to go poorly, just show it to her. It will either make the date or break it.

Good luck!

[Fragony]

Listen to her, women like to hear themselves talk.

Quoted for teh truth. Let them ramble about their pets or something like that and you have been a great conversation partner. And the most important aspect to cash the check, have $$$, having a great character is great and all but boats are better.

[lancelot]

Id suggest things such as asking her about her family, where she grew up...her past in general actually...it will show you have a deeper interest in her than what is under her shirt.

You both know that what is under her shirt is what you are really interested in but its all about making her think you are that one guy who is different from all the others...

But if you are lucky, she will yammer on for hours and all you will have to do is nod periodically...

And if worst comes to worst, take her to a movie or something, than you cant talk but can still enjoy each others company.

[Rodion Romanovich]

Id suggest things such as asking her about her family, where she grew up...her past in general actually...it will show you have a deeper interest in her than what is under her shirt.

"Do you have a younger sister" is not a good thing to ask if the girl is older than yourself. At least I hate it when girls ask me if I have an older brother...

You both know that what is under her shirt is what you are really interested in but its all about making her think you are that one guy who is different from all the others...

Considering that 90% are considered sane I think being different might not be a good thing. Be boring and stiff, just like everybody else, but be more boring and stiff than the others, maybe. Some simple statistics of all people I know have revealed that being stiff and boring attracts women well.

But if you are lucky, she will yammer on for hours and all you will have to do is nod periodically...

A good book can save any date

And if worst comes to worst, take her to a movie or something, than you cant talk but can still enjoy each others company.

Take her to an adult movie and you'll get pretty good opportunities for pickup lines, such as: "I bet you can't do like that girl!", which will immediately make her want to prove you wrong.

[Sjakihata]

And the most important aspect to cash the check, have $$$, having a great character is great and all but boats are better.

Ah, but she offered to buy me coffe :) And besides, I do got a boat

lancelot, I certainly hope she wont yammer on for hours, first that would be no fun and second I'd be bored to death

[Fragony]

And besides, I do got a boat

Way to go mia muca, no true socialist should leave home without it

Looks like you are ready to love manos! And remember, a true captain also sails the red sea.

ps, what kind of boat?

[Sjakihata]

this is beginning to feel like the j-drama Densha Otoko.

Oh, but I have had girlfriends before, it's just the dating business Im not quite used to. Thanks for you optimism though

[GoreBag]

this is beginning to feel like the j-drama Densha Otoko.

Were we supposed to get that reference?

[Byzantine Prince]

This is terrible. No one can help you if you don't already know. It's all in the way you act and speak as a person.

[Divinus Arma]

Depends on the girl. Is she shallow or deep?

If she is shallow than just show her what a bad-arse you are. I got a new girlfriend as a teen when I slammed a kid against a wallocker in rage one day. The chick, who I had never seen before, saw me react to this annoying bully by grabbing his throat and slamming him against a locker. She just happened to be standing there and thought I was the coolest thing since sliced bread. She was a shallow emotionally void skank though.

I am NOT advocating violence. I am simply explaining a point. There are many ways to prove that you are a shallow meathead in order to win over emptyheaded skanks.


I prefer intelligent girls now as an adult. Smart feminite chicks are by far the rarest and hottest of all broads. They usually hide their beauty because they want to be taken seriously rather than be treated as objects. Look for loose fitting clothes and poorly styled hair. Multi-colored "highlights" are a big no-no in the world of hot smart chicks. Too much attention.

These girls like to be heard. Reemphasize their own points and prove your own intelligence with insight. If she aks for more info, she usually wants it. No tricks there. Just be sure to ask her opinion once your done giving yours. Its all about mutual exchange and promoting her positive self-image as your equal. You want to come across as smarter than her (girls like leaders of any kind) but not arrogant or smug about your intelligence. Humility in a smart guy is a rare thing that chicks dig because most smart guys have a weird arrogant compensation for being a pussy thing going on.

I happen to be one of those freak smart guys who can also take a good beating too. Unfortunately, I am contemptful of the weak minded. Oh well, no matter, I have a pretty little wife with a kid on the way so my world rocks.


Good luck with that pooty tang my friend. Thats all the advice the Div will ever give in a thread like this for a very long time.

[R'as al Ghul]

All right, here's the deal. I've met this good looking and intelligent girl, we stayed up chatting till about 6 in the morning in a local studenthouse bar[...]
So my question is, what sort of topics are considered normal to talk about at such dates?
Ps. Yes, Im crazy about her.

It looks as if you had enough topics that night.
Maybe you're just nervous?

[Sjakihata]

It looks as if you had enough topics that night.
Maybe you're just nervous?

Yes, the problem is that we pretty much exhausted a lot of topics (movies, books, music, politics - and we also pretty much agreed on a lot, she was a fan of Akira Kurosawa, Kubrick, Lynch, Ridley Scott all of them) so that's actually why I started this thread.

Also Im nervous for mainly two reasons: 1) havent been on a formal date like this is ever, 2) she is a 3-4 years older than I am.

Oh well, I guess I should just relax, lay back and enjoy the ride

[Scurvy]

always smile

[Geoffrey S]

Topics like travel and such things are excellent, but the best is always to listen to what she has to say and respond in a meaningful way; it doesn't have to be anything profound, just make clear you listened to her properly.

[Scurvy]

Topics like travel and such things are excellent, but the best is always to listen to what she has to say and respond in a meaningful way; it doesn't have to be anything profound, just make clear you listened to her properly.

or alternatively say "yes" at irregular intervals

[Louis VI the Fat]

2) she is a 3-4 years older than I am.

Ah, so what are you worrying about? Just show her your willingness to become her young hot sex-toy.

[Dutch_guy]

Ah, so what are you worrying about? Just show her your willingness to become her young hot sex-toy.

Best advice I've heard all day.

[Divinus Arma]

Sorry, no edit:

I just read that you already stayed up until 6am talking to her.

Dude, you are already in there. Just rub one out before your date so you can just be yourself. The hard part is over. Just have fun. Life shall be good.

[Alexanderofmacedon]

Play it cool.

[LeftEyeNine]

Keep it hot

[Divinus Arma]

Microwave it lukewarm.

[Strike For The South]

Burn it

[GoreBag]

Just rub one out before your date so you can just be yourself.

Even though my question has yet to see an answer, I had to say that this is sound advice. I concur with DA.

[Sjakihata]

Even though my question has yet to see an answer, I had to say that this is sound advice. I concur with DA.

Actually, I've given that advice to someone here on the org before - and that is exactly what Im going to do

[Rodion Romanovich]

This is how to always succeed, no matter how you behave:
1. be tall
2. be a musician

If you can't fulfill those requirements, you can always:
1. be yourself, try to minimize acting, at least use your own presentation of the thoughts, but you may lie about the actual thoughts, as long as you think it through enough to make it solid. However she might try to pressure you and then it's safest to stick to the truth, or you might end up not being able to think up solid lies fast enough.
2. communicate - read her mind and act accordingly. Try to always keep track of how far she thinks you are on the way towards becoming a couple/getting laid or whatever your/her intention(s) is/are. Try to not advance to far ahead of her, try not to be too far behind her. Don't expect her to take the first step, she won't, at least not if you expect it. The steps will look different in every case, so don't expect it to follow a rigid schedule.
3. be self-confident, but not as self-confident as an 80 years old man is about his moral rules.
4. in your approaching her, don't ever plan around she having to make any certain move, the chances that she will do that are minimal. Don't prepare any lines, the opportunity in which they would come in handy will never come.
5. like her enough to be able to convince yourself she's worth the trouble, but don't like her more than that, or you'll consider the conquest too important to succeed with, in which case it's difficult to succeed. Don't think of her when you aren't with her, girls don't like that until they're 40 years old, lonely and overworked and need someone to say they are good human beings and that they deserve to live.
6. don't consider your attraction to her more important than that you can joke about it, with her or with yourself.
7. don't fall for the trap of thinking conquering a woman is done by showing friendliness, fairness and being caring. It's done by teasing, and causing her to blush. Girls don't like the truth and the reality and like to deny it - a truthful, fair and friendly man makes them remeber how horrible this world that we live in is, and they associate you with the pain it makes them feel.
8. if you've passed the step of being able to have conversations to her, you've past the most difficult part. Now you have an excuse to talk to her at any moment you like, which means you have the possibility of choosing between the full range of approaches - everything from direct and open, to indirect and teasing. See #2 to know which to choose at which time.

[A.Saturnus]

Legio, it's too bad your first suggestion (be yourself) contradicts all the others. So just be yourself, if that pisses she off, then so be it.