what is your fantasy news headline?

[solypsist]

remember all org rules still apply...

mine would be:

Bush Converts To Islam

"I just like them Burkas" - GW Bush, Washington Post April 2 2006

or

Charleton Heston and Bush Found Dead, Nude.

[master of the puppets]

Solypsist Wins By a Landslide
-upon the untimely death of george bush and perfectly timely heart attack of Dick Cheyne Solypsist has ascended to president.

PLANET UNDER ATTACK alien scourge levels new york, aliens rebuffed by valient resistence led by the man known only as "master of the puppets" more details at 8.

[lars573]

Bush and cheny killed by decapitation.

[Ianofsmeg16]

Isle of Man Recgonised as Independant Kingdom
Argentina finally recognises British Supremecy in the Falklands :D

[Rodion Romanovich]

Mass media is biased!
New survey shows that all newspapers exaggerate, and often take sides

Jesus body found
Sensational discovery in Nepal by a British archaeological team

Iran and USA forming coalition against terrorism

Third world war started after heated backroom discussion

[Fragony]

OSAMA BIN LADEN GETS AN ANAL PROBE
'finally'

[LeftEyeNine]

Forum Mod Earns A Fortune on eBay

Totawar.org moderator nicknamed solypsist, sold his privileges over the community to an unidentified seller for over $1.500.000 on eBay. Quickly after the purchase and the handing of the privileges, the number of posts as if Bush is trying to be a poet increased enormously, while the most visited part of the forum was instantly affiliated with adult content contributors.



"I have loads of them. All with slanted eyes.." said solypsist to our reporter.

[LeftEyeNine]

Aliens Invade USA, Texas stands

Getting thoroughly impressed by how American forces used to save Earthlings from alien invasion in a couple of movies, Saturnians have at last decided to land in USA and see what happens.

Since George W. Bush took revenge from Dick Cheney with a shotgun, who had shot one of his friends on hunting, USA got caught quite unprepared to the invasion.

All states being claimed as extraterrestrial territory by aliens in a couple of hours, only Texas was able to make a stand. Some heroic guy with alias strike for the south, saved his countrymen from invasion. "They can't stand shovels. Hit 'em in the head with a shovel. They are done. And that proves why I'm GMoAtT" said the hero to our alien-infested mics. Eeeeek !!



SFTS talking about shovel trick on aliens and a looking-like-a-dead-sheep villager in the tiny picture infested by aliens.

[Goofball]

Cheney - Rumsfeld Secret Affair Exposed

"I wish I could quit him..." says a tearful Rumsfeld during Barbara Walters interview.

[GoreBag]

Infrastructure Crumbles in Face of Zombie Attack
Holy crap, we're all screwed!

[Uesugi Kenshin]

Texas Declares War on United States

Vermont Spearheads Invasion of Texas, Texans Are Overrun and Surrender After Two Hours of Combat
"We just couldn't stop those Green Mountain Boys!"

[Alexanderofmacedon]

Texas Declares War on United States

Vermont Spearheads INvasion of Texas, Texans Are Overrun and Surrender After Two Hours of Combat
"We just couldn't stop those Green Mountain Boys!"

You know me and Anthony are going on a killing spree? discovery1's dorm is already going to be cleared out...

...don't push us!

[JimBob]

God Comes To Earth
Tells Humanity "You Know Where You Can Shove It."

[Csargo]

Texas Declares War on United States

Vermont Spearheads INvasion of Texas, Texans Are Overrun and Surrender After Two Hours of Combat
"We just couldn't stop those Green Mountain Boys!"

Texans revolt against Vermontian Overlords. Vermontians surrender within ten minutes of Texan uprising. After overthrow of Vermontian Oppressive government rag tag Texan army goes on Offensive against US. US defeated within a couple of weeks. Texans take over country and rename it Texan Union of States.

Headed by me of course.

[Ja'chyra]

Heads of All Major Religions Say "Sorry"

In a joint statement today the heads of all the worlds religions apologised saying that religion started as an April Fools Day joke and just seemed "To get out of hand"

Prime Minister Sacked For Not Upholding Election Promises

Tony Blair was today fired from his post as Prime Minister for failing to stick to promises made to the electorate during his campaign speeches.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

George W. Bush and John Kerry die in a high-speed Ferrari crash!

German and British Imperialism Restored! Imperialist Club Members Granted Ruling Positions!

Americans and French wipe each other out in a sudden war!

Actually, maybe that last one isn't so good...maybe only half the French, so we can have some fun invading in our Imperialist society.

[Divinus Arma]

Senate and House get tough on immigration; pass comprehensive legislation
Tens of Millions flee in massive emigration from the United States.

Washington D.C.- The President is expected to sign into law today a bill that would effectively resolve the illegal immigration problem in the United States. Among the most important articles are requirements that employers be jailed for hiring illegal immigrants and that children of illegal immigrants would no longer be given citizenship.

The most controversial provision of the bill required the instant vaporization of illegal immigrants using sophisticated satellite particle beam technology to be deployed in unison with the break-through DNA distance tracking technology developed jointly by JPL and the DoD. The ability of the technology to distinguish between legal status and nationality is a closely guarded secret, since the system is able to find all illegal immigrants, regardless of country of origin.

Despite international condemnation and a universal declaration of war by the world against the U.S., President PanzerJager has decided to continue, threatening to find new applications for what he calls a "laser". In a two second televised global address, PanzerJager was quoted as saying simply: "All your base are belong to us".

In related news, Mexico has begun building a wall to prevent re-immigration from Mexican citizens fleeing from the United States. They are expected to man the 700 mile wall with .50 cal crew served weapons every 200 meters with interlocking fields of fire supported by artillery deploying HE and WP.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Mexico Admits Hypocrisy
In a stunning announcement today, the Mexican Government has admitted its immigration policies and treatment of native Indians is blatantly hypocritical compared to what it demands from the USA.


Crazed Rabbit

[The_Doctor]

Mexico joins Union
Illegal immigrant problem ends.

[Avicenna]

Bush discovered to be alien robot
"No wonder he spoke so funny," said a member of the Senate,"I could never understand what he was saying."

[GeneralHankerchief]

Mohammed Returns to Mecca, Preaches to Radicals

Says "there's no more virgins, so there's no need to go on suicide missions in mine or Allah's name anymore."

[Alexanderofmacedon]

EDIT: That was stupid...i cant think of a good one at the moment...

[yesdachi]

Liberals Fight For Zombie Rights.
The vigilante style of zombie killing must stop, they deserve a trial and then if convicted an appropriate jail sentence, rehabilitation or put into a program where they can learn a trade. Killing is wrong, we are better than that.