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Thread: what is your fantasy news headline?

  1. #1
    karoshi Senior Member solypsist's Avatar
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    Default what is your fantasy news headline?

    remember all org rules still apply...

    mine would be:

    Bush Converts To Islam

    "I just like them Burkas" - GW Bush, Washington Post April 2 2006

    or

    Charleton Heston and Bush Found Dead, Nude.
    Last edited by solypsist; 04-03-2006 at 15:57.

  2. #2
    agitated Member master of the puppets's Avatar
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    Talking Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Solypsist Wins By a Landslide
    -upon the untimely death of george bush and perfectly timely heart attack of Dick Cheyne Solypsist has ascended to president.

    PLANET UNDER ATTACK alien scourge levels new york, aliens rebuffed by valient resistence led by the man known only as "master of the puppets" more details at 8.
    A nation of sheep will beget a a government of wolves. Edward R. Murrow

    Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. —1 John 2:9

  3. #3
    Dux Nova Scotia Member lars573's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Bush and cheny killed by decapitation.
    If you havin' skyrim problems I feel bad for you son.. I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one.

    VENI, VIDI, NATES CALCE CONCIDI

    I came, I saw, I kicked ass

  4. #4
    Not affiliated with Red Dwarf. Member Ianofsmeg16's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Isle of Man Recgonised as Independant Kingdom
    Argentina finally recognises British Supremecy in the Falklands :D
    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye.
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown,
    The dream is gone.
    I have become comfortably numb...

    Proud Supporter of the Gahzette

  5. #5
    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Mass media is biased!
    New survey shows that all newspapers exaggerate, and often take sides

    Jesus body found
    Sensational discovery in Nepal by a British archaeological team

    Iran and USA forming coalition against terrorism

    Third world war started after heated backroom discussion
    Under construction...

    "In countries like Iran, Saudi Arabia and Norway, there is no separation of church and state." - HoreTore

  6. #6
    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    OSAMA BIN LADEN GETS AN ANAL PROBE
    'finally'

  7. #7
    Boy's Guard Senior Member LeftEyeNine's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Forum Mod Earns A Fortune on eBay

    Totawar.org moderator nicknamed solypsist, sold his privileges over the community to an unidentified seller for over $1.500.000 on eBay. Quickly after the purchase and the handing of the privileges, the number of posts as if Bush is trying to be a poet increased enormously, while the most visited part of the forum was instantly affiliated with adult content contributors.



    "I have loads of them. All with slanted eyes.." said solypsist to our reporter.

  8. #8
    Boy's Guard Senior Member LeftEyeNine's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Aliens Invade USA, Texas stands

    Getting thoroughly impressed by how American forces used to save Earthlings from alien invasion in a couple of movies, Saturnians have at last decided to land in USA and see what happens.

    Since George W. Bush took revenge from Dick Cheney with a shotgun, who had shot one of his friends on hunting, USA got caught quite unprepared to the invasion.

    All states being claimed as extraterrestrial territory by aliens in a couple of hours, only Texas was able to make a stand. Some heroic guy with alias strike for the south, saved his countrymen from invasion. "They can't stand shovels. Hit 'em in the head with a shovel. They are done. And that proves why I'm GMoAtT" said the hero to our alien-infested mics. Eeeeek !!



    SFTS talking about shovel trick on aliens and a looking-like-a-dead-sheep villager in the tiny picture infested by aliens.

  9. #9
    RIP Tosa, my trolling end now Senior Member Devastatin Dave's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    End of the World!!! DevDave Made Moderator for Back Room!!!

    Someone give Soly and Ser Clegane some oxygen!!!
    RIP Tosa

  10. #10
    Not affiliated with Red Dwarf. Member Ianofsmeg16's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    AMERICA ADMITS DEFEAT IN IRAQ!story on pg 7, 8 +9

    and in other news: Pigs have flown
    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye.
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown,
    The dream is gone.
    I have become comfortably numb...

    Proud Supporter of the Gahzette

  11. #11
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    All Taxes Lowered 15%, All Tax Credits Eliminated

    or

    Welfare Recipients Required to Take Drug Tests
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  12. #12
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    And LeftEye, the correct term for being from Saturn is not Saturnians, Its Saturnese
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  13. #13
    Son of a Star Member Bar Kochba's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Israel conquers middle east
    "It is not so much that we need to be taken out of exile. It is that the exile must be taken out of us."- Lubavitcher Rebbe


    "Its a great mitzva to be happy always" Rebbe Nachman of Breslov

    We want moshiach now!!

  14. #14
    agitated Member master of the puppets's Avatar
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    Talking Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Quote Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump
    Welfare Recipients Required to Take Drug Tests
    HOORAY

    "muhammed claims place in 9/11" (jk)
    A nation of sheep will beget a a government of wolves. Edward R. Murrow

    Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. —1 John 2:9

  15. #15
    Yesdachi swallowed by Jaguar! Member yesdachi's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Hilton, Simpson, Lohan, Yesdachi sex tape uncovered!

    Recent Mega Millions winner, Yesdachi, was the center of attention, reports Jeri Ryan of Star Trek fame, who recorded the action for her personal use.

    Peace in Europe will never stay, because I play Medieval II Total War every day. ~YesDachi

  16. #16
    Not affiliated with Red Dwarf. Member Ianofsmeg16's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    HELL FREEZES OVER
    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye.
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown,
    The dream is gone.
    I have become comfortably numb...

    Proud Supporter of the Gahzette

  17. #17
    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    The .orgites/.orgahs/.orgasms/.orgies party wins the election in [insert country of your choice here]
    Under construction...

    "In countries like Iran, Saudi Arabia and Norway, there is no separation of church and state." - HoreTore

  18. #18
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    All US Leftists Move to Europe
    Related Stories: Economy Booms, Terrorists Surrender

    Christine Gregoire Admits Fraud, Resigns
    People of Washington Cheer

    DC Politicians Kill Each Other in Blood Bath
    People Rejoice

    World Leftists go Back in Time, Try Appeasement with Ghengis Khan.

    It doesn't work.

    Crazed Rabbit
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  19. #19
    Master of useless knowledge Senior Member Kitten Shooting Champion, Eskiv Champion Ironside's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    The world ended yesterday.
    We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?

    Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7
    Activity Recorded M.Y. 2302.22467
    TERMINATION OF SPECIMEN ADVISED

  20. #20
    Rock 'n' Roll Will Never Die Member Axeknight's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Balding Men Admit Comb-Over "Doesn't Really Work"

    Bad Stuff Happens, Chuck Norris Blamed
    "It's Them Roundhouse Kicks," Says Government Official
    Last edited by Axeknight; 04-03-2006 at 21:11.

  21. #21
    Medical Welshman in London. Senior Member Big King Sanctaphrax's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Superman sighted in Metropolis!

    In shock move, clothes banned on attractive women between 18 and 25.
    Co-Lord of BKS and Beirut's Kingdom of Peace and Love.

    "Handsome features, rugged exteriors, intellectual chick magnets, we're pretty much twins."-Beirut

    "Rhy, where's your helicopter now? Where's your ******* helicopter now?"-Mephistopheles.



  22. #22
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Dutch Government endorses Chuck Norris
    "Now we can get our bikes back," commented one minister.

    EU annexes Belorus
    What Revolution?

    Libertarian world government a fact
    Where did the commies go?

    "Solypsist" becomes president of said world government
    His propaganda became legal that instant.
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

  23. #23
    Time Lord Member The_Doctor's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Bartix conquers America

    1400 post.
    Last edited by The_Doctor; 04-03-2006 at 22:14.

  24. #24
    Tovenaar Senior Member The Wizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Pigs fly
    North Korea annexed South.
    "It ain't where you're from / it's where you're at."

    Eric B. & Rakim, I Know You Got Soul

  25. #25
    Dux Nova Scotia Member lars573's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Daleks conquer North Korea, flying blue phone booth sighted over South Korea.
    If you havin' skyrim problems I feel bad for you son.. I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one.

    VENI, VIDI, NATES CALCE CONCIDI

    I came, I saw, I kicked ass

  26. #26
    Sovereign Oppressor Member TIE Fighter Shooter Champion, Turkey Shoot Champion, Juggler Champion Kralizec's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Scientology is false
    Xenu turns out to be an "ok guy"

  27. #27
    Intifadah Member Dâriûsh's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    President Ahmadinejad opens strip club on Khorramshahr Avenue
    Tehran, February 11, IRNA: “…I felt the need for change, you know, heh heh, trying out something new.” IRNA quotes the president as saying at the opening banquet, attended by all twelve Guardian Council members…
    "The ink of the scholar is more holy than the blood of the martyr."


    I only defended myself and the honor of my family” - Nazanin

  28. #28
    |LGA.3rd|General Clausewitz Member Kaiser of Arabia's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Kaiser of Arabia granted title of Holy Roman Emperor, Pope, and Eternal President of North Korea. World Ends.

    Why do you hate Freedom?
    The US is marching backward to the values of Michael Stivic.

  29. #29
    Intifadah Member Dâriûsh's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Heh this is fun

    European Union to formerly adopt Sharia Law
    August 1, 2012, Brussels, Belgium (Reuters): “I love it, I am really happy to have accomplished this in my lifetime, I am so proud” says the barely coherent President of the Council of the European Union, speaking at the Brussels summit. Paramilitary commandos patrolled the capitol anticipating US financed terrorism as…


    Halliburton to auction United States presidency on Ebay
    Aljazeera.net September 9, 2008, 20:13 Makka Time
    Expectations are high in Washington as Halliburton chairman David Lesar is expected to officially submit the United States presidency for online auction. Interested buyers from Saudi Arabia, Venezuela, China, and France have already…
    "The ink of the scholar is more holy than the blood of the martyr."


    I only defended myself and the honor of my family” - Nazanin

  30. #30
    Dyslexic agnostic insomniac Senior Member Goofball's Avatar
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    Default Re: what is your fantasy news headline?

    Cheney - Rumsfeld Secret Affair Exposed

    "I wish I could quit him..." says a tearful Rumsfeld during Barbara Walters interview.
    "What, have Canadians run out of guns to steal from other Canadians and now need to piss all over our glee?"

    - TSM

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