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Thread: is your house zombie safe?

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    karoshi Senior Member solypsist's Avatar
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    Default is your house zombie safe?

    i was thinking about the imminent possibility of zombies and decided i needed to make a checklist to check my survivability.

    Pros: I live in a studio apartment that has roof access and a single steel door with police locks. My neighborhood is well stocked with bodegas, grocery stores and chinese take out.

    Cons: My apt. is on the second floor with floor to ceiling windows. I live in New York City, and this alone means the odds are greatly against me.



    So, how 'bout you? Will you be planning your next move as carefully as I will be to survive the zombie infestation?

  2. #2

    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Move to the Arctic if you can stay warm there. The Arctic weather can freeze the zombies' legs to uselessness. Or move to the desert. I don't know how long a zombie could last with a dry body.
    Wooooo!!!

  3. #3
    Ambiguous Member Byzantine Prince's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I will tell you once I find out what the hell you are talking about.

  4. #4
    Narcissist Member Zalmoxis's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    No, I'm screwed. I don't own a weapon, I live somewhere on the 1st story surrounded by an apartment complex whose highest story is.. 2. My door is made of wood, and I have easily accessible windows in many rooms. This place is a ticking time bomb.
    "Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." - John Kenneth Galbraith

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    Naughty Little Hippy Senior Member Tachikaze's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I have a zombie-eating chihuahua. No problems here, mate.


    Screw luxury; resist convenience.

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    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I live in a one-story home with two entry doors and 8 windows, surrounded by others just like it. I won't be able to stay here when the zombies come, but I do own a lot of guns and propane so that might help me get to the truck and on my way to the nudey bar.
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  7. #7

    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    pros: 20 minute drive from the mountains, well armed, and errmmm wait a second! What the hell kind of thread is this anyway!?
    "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." -Einstein

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  8. #8
    L'Etranger Senior Member Banquo's Ghost's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I've planned carefully for this eventuality.

    I live right next to a cemetary - but it has ten metre high walls. So when the zombies start animating, I can hear them scrabbling on the walls, giving me plenty of time to bail out the back - leaving only my complete collection of Buffy DVDs in a prominent position so they will waste time laughing at me rather than chasing.

    My cat appears to be fond of dead and decomposing things, so I am training him to move up from mouse heads and bird bodies to human remains, via Whiskas catfood.
    "If there is a sin against life, it consists not so much in despairing as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this one."
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    Clan Silent Assassins Member Faust|'s Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I live in a complex where the bottom floor (my floor) is partially beneath the ground and has large windows... zombies will start to clambor at my apartment just because its an easy path to take and they take to the dampness. I own only knives and a compound bow, but I'm skilled with them. I can take out at most 6 with my bow, then I will have to avoid their string-puppet limbs and cut them up with my knife. If they fill the halls and flood through the windows then it will be my destiny to die a warrior's death, brutalizing many a corpse, but eventually succumbing to the fleshy mass (and yes, I do mean the zombies).
    Last edited by Faust|; 04-05-2006 at 08:43.

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    Boy's Guard Senior Member LeftEyeNine's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I live in a flat that has nothing pro against such invasion. However I can eat zombies and my brain is so loaded that they'd posion to death if they attempted. So no fear over here.
    Last edited by LeftEyeNine; 04-05-2006 at 08:24.

  11. #11

    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    My building has nothing advantageous for a zombie invasion, however, I've seen plenty of zombie flicks and played Urban Dead so I know how to behave - that's right a shotty and some necrotech equipment


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    Robber Baron Member Brutus's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Having encountered many zombies during my life in public transportation, shopping areas and during work, I'd say they're pretty harmless...









    If not, there's always the shovel from the shed.

  13. #13
    Philologist Senior Member ajaxfetish's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    On a related note, I think 'Zombie Instinct' would make a great band name.

    As for me, I'm on the first floor of my res hall with fairly secure doors but vulnerable windows, a minimal stockpile of junkfood, and no weapons beyond a hammer and a pocketknife. However, as the RA I could cite the zombies for harassing my residents and have campus patrol escort them off campus.

    Ajax

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    master of the pwniverse Member Fragony's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Nope I am screwed. Only one entrance, and jumping from my window would mean jumping right into the undead hordes. My only weapons are a sword and a baseball-bat, end of frag.

  15. #15
    Coffee farmer extraordinaire Member spmetla's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Lets see:
    Pros:
    Lots of swords, knives 1 crossbow 2 hunting bows, one shotgun and a .38 pistol, and a civil war .58 cal enfield and homemade chainmail (yes I'm a dork but apparently well prepared)

    The house is wood so fire is a danger but we have a porch/watchtower set up on our roof for viewing the sunset so just close the trapdoor to the lower story and ride out the storm if nessasery

    Our Farm is fenced in with hogwire so hopefully they just go after easier targets

    Tool bench is near and we can quickly grap chainsaws and axes if we see the zombies approach, laziness has also caused us to stockpile oils, diesel and gasoline so pyro is a weapon and fuel is no problem.

    Coffee farming country means a lack of people so few targets, also lots of dogs which would provide amble warning the few neighbors tend to have guns so shooting would alert us to something amiss

    A brother dad and friend to help fight and only my mom and 2 hippy neighbors to protect

    We have several trucks and one big Dumptruck which could provide the mass and protection needed to drive through thickly infested urban areas

    I'm in the national guard so I have body armor and a helmet allowing for some sort of protection against friendly fire, also once we escape the house go to the armory stock up on weapons and then head to my dad's sailboat and use the ocean as a moat or sail to someplace uninfected like japan or australia

    Being on a coffee farm we have plenty of caffiene so no sleeping on watch

    Cons:
    The house is wood, zombies can break through that no problem

    A dirt road makes escape slow and dangerous, especially in bad weather or night time

    If they get a car traveling up our road escape is blocked until the obstrution is moved

    limited food supply and if forced to the roof no food or water

    getting to the vehicles might require fighting to them which would be difficult against large numbers

    we don't lock our door at night so if sleeping there is no warning

    I live on an island so if I can't make it to our boat we'll need to kill all the zombies or die trying



    Just so you guys know, my best friend and I as kids loved planning for zombie attacks. If you happen to be driving and it happens go to a gunshop or hardware store then a harbor.

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  16. #16
    Clan Takiyama Senior Member R'as al Ghul's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Haven't thought about it. Damn, I'm toast.
    My flat is on street level, 3 minutes walk to the cemetary.
    Plus, I have at least 5 very unsecure windows.
    Once they get into the house, I can only flee over the balcony, if they aren't in the garden yet.
    I can only defend myself with a fire-exstinguisher, some sticks and kitchen knifes.
    I do have a baton, though which I've stolen at a tracks and field competition I had won when I was 16.
    I managed to scare away Jehovas witnesses with it once.

    What now? How can I improve my situation?
    How much are cricket-bats?

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  17. #17
    Gangrenous Member Justiciar's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I have a shed full of sharp objects. That's about all I have going for me.
    When Adam delved and Eve span, Who was then the gentleman? From the beginning all men by nature were created alike, and our bondage or servitude came in by the unjust oppression of naughty men. For if God would have had any bondsmen from the beginning, he would have appointed who should be bound, and who free. And therefore I exhort you to consider that now the time is come, appointed to us by God, in which ye may (if ye will) cast off the yoke of bondage, and recover liberty. - John Ball

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    Scandinavian and loving it Member Lazul's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    If Zombies can climb through windows... im screwed, but I can easily access atleast three axes, one large knife and varius long hard objects, suitable to smash zombie-heads with. The viking in me tells me the axe works best.
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  19. #19
    Thread killer Member Rodion Romanovich's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    I can't believe you automatically assume zombies are evil because they aren't good looking - so shallow! Zombies are also humans! All they need is caring and understanding like everybody else! Drop your sharp items and give the poor fellas a hug!
    Under construction...

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  20. #20
    Standing Up For Rationality Senior Member Ronin's Avatar
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    Cool Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Quote Originally Posted by LegioXXXUlpiaVictrix
    I can't believe you automatically assume zombies are evil because they aren't good looking - so shallow! Zombies are also humans! All they need is caring and understanding like everybody else! Drop your sharp items and give the poor fellas a hug!
    exactly!!!

    Why can´t we all just get along?
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  21. #21
    Member Member TB666's Avatar
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    Default Sv: is your house zombie safe?

    Nope, my home isn't safe at all. 2nd floor, only one kinda weak door so I'm screwed.
    But I got swords, knifes and blunt object to hit them in the head with so I will take my chances outside instead.

  22. #22
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Guns and hill country. Not to mention Texans>zombies
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

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    1000 post member club Member Quid's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Finally, a sensible thread.

    I live also right next to a graveyard. Fairly big in size so I am well screwed. I have a rifle but no ammunition. I am not able to do any martial arts, I dont' have any pets and I live on the third floor. I suppose, if you can't beat them, you might as well join them...muuauahahahahaha, I am coming...near you!

    Quid
    ...for it is revenge I seek...


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  24. #24
    Shadow Senior Member Kagemusha's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    With the lack of sleep i have had lately i would use the basic infiltration tactics.The Zombies would just think me as one of them.Then i would have the opportunity to eat you all!
    Ja Mata Tosainu Sama.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Senior Member Idaho's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Hmmm..

    Pros - lots of camping equipment- close to open wilderness

    Cons - don't have any weapons, no 4x4, house has wooden door and lots of windows and am next to the largest cemetary for 50 miles
    "The republicans will draft your kids, poison the air and water, take away your social security and burn down black churches if elected." Gawain of Orkney

  26. #26
    Come to daddy Member Geoffrey S's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Hmm. Two floors, surrounded by houses. I've got a chainsaw in the shed and a bike, so I should be able to outrun them. There's a large shopping centre a short cycle ride away, so it should be okay.
    "The facts of history cannot be purely objective, since they become facts of history only in virtue of the significance attached to them by the historian." E.H. Carr

  27. #27
    Senior member Senior Member Dutch_guy's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Well I live in a fairly large brick house, I'd definatly stand a chance if I could make it to the kitchen and barricade myself in there...or just try and run for the door and hide in the garden.

    I'm an athiest. I get offended everytime I see a cold, empty room. - MRD


  28. #28
    Boy's Guard Senior Member LeftEyeNine's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    This thread is turning out to be a legendary one..

    Well, Legio has a different point of view, but they eat brains for sure and this is not friendly manner at all, maybe my ear but not my brain.

    By the way Texans >= Zombies would be a more precise inequality.

  29. #29
    Arena Senior Member Crazed Rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    Hmm. Right now I'm at college, which means I'm in a small room with poor doors and surrounded by lots of other people, with no access to a car (though my friends have some). Of course, outside there are lots of open spaces, and the college is in the middle of nowhere, so if you get out of town, you're okay, until you starve.

    At home, my family has a house in the country, with a garage full of old sledgehammers, double bladed axes, chainsaws, shovels, etc. Plus, if there is adequete warning, the house can be barricaded, or done so whilst the zombies are delayed by someone on the roof of the garage, so they'd just shuffle around outside and not try to break in. Inside the house, there's oppurtunity for multiple barricades and fallback positions. And, of course, there's our full size van, which would be great for running over zombies.

    Crazed Rabbit
    Ja Mata, Tosa.

    The poorest man may in his cottage bid defiance to all the forces of the Crown. It may be frail; its roof may shake; the wind may blow through it; the storm may enter; the rain may enter; but the King of England cannot enter – all his force dares not cross the threshold of the ruined tenement! - William Pitt the Elder

  30. #30
    Yesdachi swallowed by Jaguar! Member yesdachi's Avatar
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    Default Re: is your house zombie safe?

    There is a cemetery just around the corner from me and being in a suburb area there are thousands of houses and people who I am sure are ill equipped to handle a zombie threat, so even with my metal doors and guns I have big windows and a sweet n’ tasty brain, I’d be screwed. Best bet would be to try and get out of town.
    Peace in Europe will never stay, because I play Medieval II Total War every day. ~YesDachi

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