is your house zombie safe?

[Banquo's Ghost]

I will now like to bring up more indepth the "fast" Zombie dilemma.Do you guys think that the zombies evolution took some major step last Summer when they started to run around in dawn of the dead?Or is this just biased Zombie propaganda to fool us to believe that they really can run?Becouse if they can the threat has just became lot more serious.

I believe it is propaganda. Analyse it logically: Zombies are dead, and dead things share one attribute - their tendency towards immobility. Experimental science backs this up - try taking a decomposing body and jerking it up and down (please note this is a felony in all states save Montana, where it's considered a formal engagement) - important bits fall off fairly rapidly, unless you've got a fresh one, in which case they squelch a lot.

Now, this isn't to say a zombie might not be able to reach a brief sprint over say, the last couple of metres. Losing ambulatory limbs is less a concern when they're that close to sucking out your brain.

Frankly, zombies are like the Chinese - its the overwhelming numbers and single mindedness you have to worry about.

Oh, and for the gun crowd feeling safe with their arsenals: Watch the terrifying documentary film by those fearless investigators Wallace and Gromit about the were-rabbit threat. You think your semi-automatic side-arms are gonna deal with those suckers???

[spmetla]

Now maybe only the older zombies that have decayed abit would be slow moving then. Your cemetaries will be the source of these but fresh ones that have only been turned within a day of their death might still be able to move at a good speed. Also fresh zombies due to the flesh still being "tender" make baseball bats and other blunt melee weapons less effective because they haven't become so stiff that a good swing at the head might decapitate them.

Do you guys think that people who have lost their teeth in life (and use dentures) would be able to infect people? I'm not gonna risk letting one of them gum up my arm or anything but I guess the "elderly" zombies would be a lesser threat.

Are we all in agreement that we don't speculate that animals can be turned? Zombies only try to infect living humans right?

[LeftEyeNine]

This is a far more entertaining and thoughtful distraction than arguing over politics.

I agree. Far better than anything else going on between leftists and rightists here. This is as useless as it is but at least you don't have to offend someone. They are zombies to be offended.

So back on topic, yesterday I've discovered that a helmet on fire scares them as well as providing protection. Wherever you may be residing, keep a helmet wrapped with a bandage soaked into gasoline and a lighter with you.

[R'as al Ghul]

So back on topic, yesterday I've discovered that a helmet on fire scares them as well as providing protection. Wherever you may be residing, keep a helmet wrapped with a bandage soaked into gasoline and a lighter with you.

NICE.
You can join their ranks in no time.

[Ronin]

Now maybe only the older zombies that have decayed abit would be slow moving then. Your cemetaries will be the source of these but fresh ones that have only been turned within a day of their death might still be able to move at a good speed. Also fresh zombies due to the flesh still being "tender" make baseball bats and other blunt melee weapons less effective because they haven't become so stiff that a good swing at the head might decapitate them.

Do you guys think that people who have lost their teeth in life (and use dentures) would be able to infect people? I'm not gonna risk letting one of them gum up my arm or anything but I guess the "elderly" zombies would be a lesser threat.

Are we all in agreement that we don't speculate that animals can be turned? Zombies only try to infect living humans right?

In the majority of the movies I´ve seen I´ve never seen a zombie go for...or infect an animal, actually they seem to ignore them altogether.

The exception seems to be Resident Evil...were you have some pretty gnarly zombie dobbermans.......but those were infected by a man-made virus, so I don´t know if you can count them as "real" zombies.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Are we all in agreement that we don't speculate that animals can be turned? Zombies only try to infect living humans right?

Absolutely not! Zombie pets are a real threat. All those hamsters and guinea pigs and rabbits and gerbils that your children imprisoned for their miserable, short lives and then buried in matchboxes are, as we speak, joining the hordes of revenants and will be planning revenge.

The tripping threat alone is too horrible to contemplate. They will also soak up a lot of valuable ammunition.

Zombieism is not an infection. It's more like a group hug thing, a bit like when your grandmother comes to visit and locks you in an iron grip before planting a wet kiss in your eye. It's the hugging, not the saliva.

[LeftEyeNine]

NICE.
You can join their ranks in no time.

You should be bald for further precaution, good point. R'as al Ghul is a promising zombie defender.

[R'as al Ghul]

Zombieism is not an infection. It's more like a group hug thing, a bit like when your grandmother comes to visit and locks you in an iron grip before planting a wet kiss in your eye. It's the hugging, not the saliva.

Now that made me think.
One of my grannies always pinches me in the cheeks because she's too small for proper hugging.
Is that dangerous, too?

Note to self: Refrain from visiting her, call more often.

[LeftEyeNine]

Now that made me think.
One of my grannies always pinches me in the cheeks because she's too small for proper hugging.
Is that dangerous, too?

Note to self: Refrain from visiting her, call more often.

Yes I knew that. He can notice zombie dangers in no time. This guy will rise quick and strong among our forces.

[R'as al Ghul]

Yes I knew that. He can notice zombie dangers in no time. This guy will rise quick and strong among our forces.

Thanks, but it seems there's still much to learn.
Pass me a cricket bat and I'm ready to go but I don't trust fire.


-1 zombie

[Banquo's Ghost]

Just in from Hysteria Centrale, Fox News:

Devil rabbit terrifies Northumberland

Spoiler Alert, click show to read: 

Devil rabbit terrorises village
'We are dealing with a monster', admits shaken local
By Lester Haines
Published Friday 7th April 2006 09:36 GMT


Pity if you will the poor burghers of the Northumberland village of Felton - living as they are under a palpable pall of fear provoked by the attentions of a monstrous, allotment-menacing devil rabbit.

That's according to the Times, which reports that the "Beast of Felton" - a deer-sized, black and brown creature with "diabolically shaped ears" - has already decimated "a market stall's worth of Japanese onions, parsnips and spring carrots".
Click Here

The first sighting of the Mephistophelean herbivore came back in February. Allotment holder Jeff Smith, 63, recounted: "This is no ordinary rabbit. We are dealing with a monster. It's absolutely massive.

"The first time I saw it, I wasn't sure what it was. Its prints are huge, about the size of a deer. It's a brute of a thing. We have two lads here with guns who are trying to shoot it, but it's too clever. They never see it."

The two lads in question are hired guns tasked with killing the vegetarian vandal. One of the Magnificent Two, underkeeper Brian Cadman, said: "Only a few people have seen it so far but I've seen the evidence and I think it's going to be a big 'un.

"I've been out here at night with another underkeeper. We have not had much luck yet, but you can see what it's been eating. It's been taking huge bites out of cabbages, carrots and turnips."

With the beast still at large, the mood in Felton has turned from fear to vengeful anger. Smith told a meeting of the local parish council on Monday: "When we get it killed - when we shoot it - we are going to hang it up on a tree so folk can see it."

Whether the locals then rushed to the village green with wooden agricultural implements and burning torches before storming into the night in search of the unholy creature's creator is not noted. Nick Park was unavailable for comment this morning. ®

I told you the zombie pets and were-rabbits were coming! Flee you fools!

And don't think the US is safe: These things eat vegetables - the White House is very, very afraid...

[The_Doctor]

I worked out that I am in a pretty good position.

Most of my neighbours have big cars/truck-like-things. Hijack one of those and drive to:

Altcar Rifle Range.

It is only ~4 miles away, as the crow files.

Then get some guns and ammo. Then drive to:

Liverpool, specifically the Mersey Ferry terminal. Then hijack the Mersey Ferry and sail away.

I will also rescue Red Peasant any other Liverpool Org members.

[Kagemusha]

Now maybe only the older zombies that have decayed abit would be slow moving then. Your cemetaries will be the source of these but fresh ones that have only been turned within a day of their death might still be able to move at a good speed. Also fresh zombies due to the flesh still being "tender" make baseball bats and other blunt melee weapons less effective because they haven't become so stiff that a good swing at the head might decapitate them.

Do you guys think that people who have lost their teeth in life (and use dentures) would be able to infect people? I'm not gonna risk letting one of them gum up my arm or anything but I guess the "elderly" zombies would be a lesser threat.

Are we all in agreement that we don't speculate that animals can be turned? Zombies only try to infect living humans right?

My good man its the Salive(spelling)that infects not the teeth.

[Vladimir]

I worked out that I am in a pretty good position.

Most of my neighbours have big cars/truck-like-things. Hijack one of those and drive to:

Altcar Rifle Range.

It is only ~4 miles away, as the crow files.

Then get some guns and ammo. Then drive to:

Liverpool, specifically the Mersey Ferry terminal. Then hijack the Mersey Ferry and sail away.

I will also rescue Red Peasant any other Liverpool Org members.

Four miles away!? My God man, you'll never make it in time! Do you think you're the only one with that idea? The place will be looted before you get there. That is, providing that the zombies haven't already set up an ambush.

[The_Doctor]

Four miles away!? My God man, you'll never make it in time! Do you think you're the only one with that idea?The place will be looted before you get there.

Yes. I will also assume the TA has been overwhelmed and the place has been abanded.

That is, providing that the zombies haven't already set up an ambush.

Zombies can't setup ambushes. They can only walk around saying "mmmaaaiiiirrrr".

[Kagemusha]

Guys i already posted this in the Frontroom.Me thinks modding is turning me into Zombie!

[Vladimir]

Guys i already posted this in the Frontroom.Me thinks modding is turning me into Zombie! [/IMG]

Ya might want to do something about that glazed over look in your eyes and the deathly pallor of your skin.

[Kagemusha]

Ya might want to do something about that glazed over look in your eyes and the deathly pallor of your skin.

BrAINZZZZZZZ!!!!

[Axeknight]

Guys...

... you've got red on you

[caravel]

You cannot kill that which is already dead, so forget assault rifles, which is why I have my needle and thread and a bag of salt prepared... I just have to convice the zombie to sit still while i'm sewing up his mouth and eyes.

[scooter_the_shooter]

Guns work in almost all of the movies. My ak better be able to take down a zombie!!!!


Or i am in trouble!!

[caravel]

Guns work in almost all of the movies. My ak better be able to take down a zombie!!!!


Or i am in trouble!!

Be on the safe side and equip yourself with an rocket propelled grenade launcher.

[scooter_the_shooter]

I would but thats not legal in my country sadly the 2 12 guages would probably be my best bet if I bought extended tubes for them.

[The_Doctor]

You need fire and lots of it.

[doc_bean]

If there's one thing I learned from Quake, it's that a grenade launcher is the best choice when going up against zombies.

Now, where can I get one ?

[Cha]

Guys i already posted this in the Frontroom.Me thinks modding is turning me into Zombie!

Probably your constant contact with electromagnetic waves are mutating your DNA.

If there's one thing I learned from Quake, it's that a grenade launcher is the best choice when going up against zombies.

Now, where can I get one ?

Grenades are overrated. Remember, this is a zombie we're talking about. Zombies are alive in conditions that would kill a human. There still could be cancer or a spear struck through a zombie's belly and yet that wouldn't stop that zombie. Unless a grenade is in close contact with a body, that grenade can't rip a body apart. What makes the grenade lethal to a human is the shrapnel and the concussion from the explosion. A shrapnel would be like acupuncture to a zombie. Grenades are weak when compared to an artillery round or a mine. Even a human in close proximity to a grenade could survive if that human lies low. There was this soldier in South Korea who went berserk, and he threw a grenade at soldiers who were sleeping. Those soldiers survived that blast.

And if what I say sounds like b.s. then bare with me; I'm not a munitions expert.

[Adrian II]

So, how 'bout you? Will you be planning your next move as carefully as I will be to survive the zombie infestation?

Me have no problem. You all come visit, have brrrrain barbecue.

[GoreBag]

You need fire and lots of it.

Fire is a controversial theory among zombie lore. In some versions of the mythos, it scares and keeps away zombies, therefore, have plenty of it. But, it's big and bright, so it'll draw more zombies to it. They all seem to know that fires burn out eventually, so a ring of fire around your position is only a temporary solution.

Also, zombies that are already on fire won't last too long, but are doubly dangerous before they keel over and snuff it. That being said, the molotov cocktail is a classic weapon of those besieged by shuffling carcasses (see Zombi 2 especially).

Personally, I'd limit my use of fire to trickery and desperate situations.

[yesdachi]

So I’ve been thinking about the best way to fight a horde of zombies and I have decided it is to create my own army of the undead monsters. I have already acquired some equipment on e-bay from the former Soviet Union, gathered some chemical components (and a KitKat) from my local drug store, and liberated a few test specimens from the cemetery a block away.
------
Initial tests have been positive and I am surprised at how quickly I have designed the zombie creation formula. My first test subjects have already mastered the ability to speak (only the word “brains” so far) and are much stronger than I thought they would be.
------
I have some disappointing news, I was forced to destroy one of my favorite zombies today, he had broken free from his restraints during the night and escaped into my open lab area. I heard the commotion and quickly ran to investigate. To my surprise he was drinking vial after vial of the chemicals I had been preparing as an antidote for the creation formula (they were running out the holes in his torso and making a mess all over the floor) I attempted to communicate with him and was quickly attacked, forced to defend myself I used a 9mm and a Bunsen burner, those chemicals caught fire real quick and his desire for brains was quenched for good.
-----
I am a bit concerned, after the incident last night I have not been able to find my lab hamster whose cage I found broken. I will continue to look but I fear the little guy has run away.
-----
I have noticed some unusual screams from the house next door to mine and thru the shades see figures moving in a jerky manor… similar to my zombies. Wait a tick, my hamster couldn’t have been infected, escaped and in a desperate search for brains attacked my neighbors in their sleep last night? Oh no, what if I have inadvertently created the threat I so desperately wanted to battle against. Dear lord what have I done! Nooooooo!

[Upxl]

Taking my emergency bottle of Jack Daniels I'd jump through my window thus landing on the flat roof of the modern part of the house.
Putting fire to the older part, the zombies wouldn’t have any way to gain access to the roof (since the stairs are burned).

Waiting for the cavalry to arrive, I would just sit back enjoying the sun and the sight of zombies trying to get out of our pond while relaxing with my good buddy JD.