Are you sitting comfortably?

[InsaneApache]

The nanny state certainly hopes you are, with 'useful' tips that are enough to drive you potty

NOTHING could be easier than easement. You just sit there, flicking through The Sun, checking that the bathroom door is locked and waiting for nature to do its business.

Nanny society though we are, the mature adult does not expect to be told how to eat or to breathe. Up in Dundee, however, the local NHS trust has issued an instruction book on how to do the other thing that all species do; in our case, usually once a day.

and.....

Even though they probably don’t know the meaning of “defecation” in Dundee, preferring a more Anglo-Saxon term pronounced in the Scottish way to rhyme with “bright”, the leaflet has been distributed to clinics and GPs’ surgeries in the region. A spokeswoman for NHS Tayside turned the other cheek to accusations that the leaflet was a waste of money and would be better employed hanging on a nail behind the bathroom door.

what a pile of ****.

excrement

[The_Doctor]

[The Black Ship]

Now, now...what else can you expect from your nanny? Perhaps next year she'll let you wipe yourself.

[solypsist]

or install a cctv for "our safety"

Now, now...what else can you expect from your nanny? Perhaps next year she'll let you wipe yourself.

[Alexanderofmacedon]

[A.Saturnus]

While this sounds absurd, the principle idea may save lives.
Surprising to most people, a high percentage of deaths happen on the toilet. I don't have numbers at hand but from fatal incidency, toilets are among the most dangerous places you can find. Of course, toilets are not inherently threating to normal people, but they become problematic when in combination with certain medical circumstances. For patients of cardiovascular diseases, a visit to the toilet can actually be life threatening. Due to the pressure during defacation, the stress on the heart is substantially increased. It's not uncommon that people who have to avoid physical stress because of heart sickness fall victim to an infarct at precisely that moment. Assumbly, right breathing and posture can significantly decrease the stress during defacation. Therefore, instructions on how to use the toilet properly may be paramount for survival for a number of patients.

Now, excuse me while I'm off...

[Louis VI the Fat]

Oi, you forgot an 'h' in your title Apache.

[Tribesman]

Are you sitting comfortably?
Then we shall begin

I am getting too old

[InsaneApache]

Oi, you forgot an 'h' in your title Apache.

No I didn't. I just didn't want another warning for saying ****.

(For saying what? - Beirut)

[Csargo]

I'm quite fine thank you for asking.

[KafirChobee]

A.Saturnus - quite right, you know. Believe it or not - the local FOX News did a week long review of this very subject (missed it personally, but saw their advertisements "YOUR BOWEL MOVEMENT COULD KILL YOU! News at 10) .....then again, who would know more about it? Than FOX?

[Duke Malcolm]

Huzzah! Now when I go to see my GP for my check-up I can find out finally how to do that, ah, what was it...? ...Ah yes, defecate.

or install a cctv for "our safety"

Psh, you are somewhat behind the times, good man. We already have that, to stop the insolent yobbery of the neds... In my school there is one perched neatly outside the boys' toilets...

[Avicenna]

Wow, not even Singapore does that!

CCTV to monitor if you're doing it as they tell you?