funny Barbarian Invasion review on Amazon

[R'as al Ghul]

Hi,

I checked the price for BI* on Amazon.de when I found this hilarious review:
*I still haven't got it for some weird reason.

The game is simply too difficult. I really liked the the normal game without the Add-on. But now, in Barbarian Invasion, so many things have changed!!
1.Although the map remained the same, the positions of the cities has changed.
2. The factions included in the vanilla Rome aren't there any more.
3. You have not enough money.
4. The opponent is too strong.
5. This stupid hordes that are included now, are simply too strong. If they attack you, you don't stand a chnace because
they attack you always with 5 units at one time. How could the developers develop such a nonsense!!!!

The only good thing about the game is that you can fight in the night. That's all!!!

I discourage everybody to get the game! Play the vanilla game without Add-on, it's way better.

Have fun.

[Barbarossa82]

I wonder what he thought he was buying?

[Avicenna]

Of course, the name "barbarian invasion" implies that there are plenty of barbarian below-5-unit skirmishes because that's just common sense.

Argh, they can swim!!

[Zalmoxis]

Brilliant, there's no other word for this work of genius.

[GeneralHankerchief]

I pray for humanity if that review's serious.

I mean come on, it's not much of an expansion pack if they don't change anything around, is it?

So, CA, what changes are there planned for the new expansion pack? Any new factions?

Well... actually no. But we've changed the artwork on the Sacred Circle Temple lines- there are now fourteen rocks instead of thirteen.

Wow, very interesting! Definitely worth my hard-earned cash!

[professorspatula]

These are the kind of idiots CA and the developer community are up against. Fortunately they do bleed and can be eradicated from the gene-pool if necessary.

[Ciaran]

I wonder, how many actually rated that review as "useful" ?

[Garvanko]

Hilarious! Didn't the guy read any reviews before he bought it?

[BHCWarman88]

"2. The factions included in the vanilla Rome aren't there any more."


my god,how stupid is he?? it Barbian Invasion, with Barbarian Invasion.God have mercy on his Soul..

[Gaulgath]

5. This stupid hordes that are included now, are simply too strong. If they attack you, you don't stand a chnace because
they attack you always with 5 units at one time. How could the developers develop such a nonsense!!!!

Wow, five units! This game must be really hard! CA should make it so the barbarians send only one unit of peasants. That would be much more balanced.

[Ciaran]

Perhaps he means five stacks on the strategic map? Does that happen when fighting hording factions?

Well, then he should try MTW, and watch the Golden Horde approaching

[Lord Adherbal]

the sad thing is that CA actualy seems to pay attention to kids like this, by making their games (and promoting them as) "easy and user friendly".

[roman pleb]

[QUOTE=Ciaran]Perhaps he means five stacks on the strategic map? Does that happen when fighting hording factions?

Well, then he should try MTW, and watch the Golden Horde approaching [/QUOTE

I agree. I think he does mean 5 armies instead of 5 units. Whoever wrote that review still must be a bad player though if he can't handle a mob of runaway spearmen and horse archers!

[Alexander the Pretty Good]

You fools! Posting about it has brought it to the attention of CA's marketing division!

Yessir. MTW2 is now equipped with a panic button. Losing a battle? Strapped for cash? Easy, just hit the shiny red button! Problems solved, just like real generals! Did we mention flaming elephants?

[Captain Fishpants]

the sad thing is that CA actualy seems to pay attention to kids like this, by making their games (and promoting them as) "easy and user friendly".

No, we don't.

We do try to make games that are easy to play (that is not the same as easy to master) and user friendly. If we didn't, how would we ever attract new players and be able to go on making TW games?

However, this chap's review is something of an oddity. Maybe he simply doesn't know the history of the period. This would explain his outrage at the changed factions, at least. I wonder what he thought he was going to get when he bought the expansion pack?

Ho hum.

[Taurus]

hehe. Nice review, but I also pose the question, what did he think he was buying?

[Mithras]

3. You have not enough money.
4. The opponent is too strong.
5. This stupid hordes that are included now, are simply too strong. If they attack you, you don't stand a chnace because
they attack you always with 5 units at one time. How could the developers develop such a nonsense!!!!
6.The barbarians have big scary voices
7.Plus they say mean things
8....and they actually resist when you attack them!

Big baby. I love the way total war expansion packs put your balls to the wall. The fact that theirs a chance to loose adds a level of interest not found in the initial release.

[x-dANGEr]

I think he may be 5.. And so, he may haven't found the game too user-friendly.. Or even understood it.

[edyzmedieval]

I wonder what would he have written if there was GORE in the game...

[professorspatula]

To be fair, this is what happens when you try to make your games appear to the wider market. You get idiots like that who break down and cry whenever they stumble upon something in a game that makes them actually have to think. He ought to stick to Lego Star Wars or something.

[Chaotica]

Perhaps he means five stacks on the strategic map?

I think he does. Actually, he wrote something about "teams", translated literally...

... which is ridiculous as well, I guess.

Edit: Oops, this seems a bit older, I see.

[Celt Centurion]

Argh, they can swim!!

Yes, but did the smelly barbarians ever go into the water?

Strength and Honor,

Celt Centurion

[Celt Centurion]

If the human player acts quickly enough, he can have a blacksmith and armorer before the hordes arrive. Even with a small army with armor, I have held out against 4-5 stacks of hordes without it. Sally forth every turn, and draw them in close enough for arrow towers to earn their pay. By the time the buggers assault, they are usually cut down by 40-50%. I have only lost on one such assault, and it was the very first time I played BI. Five turns of sallying out had reduced their stacks, but it had also taken my army down to about 40% as well. The next time I played that campaign, my first act was to build a ship at Tarentum (or that eqivalent in BI), draw troops from all over the Italy regions, and put them on a ship, and put them into Salona. When the Goths attacked, I had a nearly full stack in the city, and cut the Goths down to a small fraction of what they were. Then, I pursued them, and within about 10 turns, the Faction Destroyed tile for the Goths came up. Good riddance! The writer of the review might want to try again.

Yes, the human player will lose some battles early on, but learn from it. Money? Play enough campaigns, and learn. After almost two years of RTW and BI, I'm still learning and experimenting.

The fellow who wrote this review, I wonder, has he even played it for more than a dozen turns or so and given up?

One of you members of this forum mentioned, "get corrupt governors out of cities." That helps the money matter. Another mentioned the culture penalty by "foreign" buildings. When I take over a city, "foreign" buildings get replaced, one way, or another. In the Huge City realm, I eventually take it to where the only foreign buildings are the ones that cannot be torn down, such as an Imperial Palace, Latifunda, mines, or Epic Stone Wall. If I could, I'd tear down and rebuild those as well. Thank You to the person who suggested that. It helps in "keeping the peace."

Strength and Honor,

Celt Centurion

Perhaps he means five stacks on the strategic map? Does that happen when fighting hording factions?

Well, then he should try MTW, and watch the Golden Horde approaching