I've experienced both of these - the CTD on ESC is the most annoying, as it usually happens after a turn with loads of difficult battles.... I find if I do a quick save (Ctrl-S) before hitting ESC I don't get the CTD, and even if it did happen, I haven't lost my progress!
The issue with units not being selectable from a stack sometimes occurs, but I find it isn't always every unit in that stack. It can be freed up in a few ways - merge stacks by using Ctrl-M (with the province selected, not the stack); take out the units you can pick up from the stack; or sometimes move units from another stack into the "stuck" one and merge units. I often get this one on bribed stacks after they've just finished a battle.
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