Interesting perspectives, thanks. Here's my take:

From the perspectives of others, we are judged/defined by what we do (or by what they have heard or read about us ...). No one else can know what's "underneath." They may not be accurate in their assessment, but to them, it is who we are.

We define ourselves by our thoughts, feelings, values, and interests, as well as by our deeds, accomplishments, failures, etc.. As was pointed out, this is dynamic. How accurate are we in our assessment of ourselves?

Finally, we are what we are, despite any subjective definition--ours or someone else's--there is so much that we do not know about ourselves.

So ... it's both, and neither.

The point made, of making a constant effort to match ideals with actions--is a poignant one to me.