Love/Hate rhymes

[Sasaki Kojiro]

These are entries to a washington post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but the least romantic second line:

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

*************************
I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

*************************
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

**************************
Of loving beauty you float with grace.
If only you could hide your face.

****************************
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.
This describes everything you are not.

******************************
I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

*******************************
I love your smile, your fac e, and your eyes.
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

************************************
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

************************************
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

***************************************
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

****************************************
My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "Go To Hell".

*******************************************
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

[Zalmoxis]

I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

Comedy gold!

[Csargo]

Thats hilarious

[edyzmedieval]

OMG....

[Beirut]

I stroke you with gently spoken verse
Before I stick on you a curse

You fill my heart with cheer
Now get my ******* beer

Your body floats just like a dove
But it's really your sister that I love

You made my world when you walked through my door
Now get the mop and clean the floor

A lovely word it is your name
Now go away, I'm playing a computer game

I see your picture on the wall
Hopping soon that it will fall

I miss you my love please come back
Though the smell of you gives me an asthma attack

[Rodion Romanovich]

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

[edyzmedieval]

You made my world when you walked through my door
Now get the mop and clean the floor

A lovely word it is your name
Now go away, I'm playing a computer game

[Beirut]

Baby, sweetie, you mean so much to me
Now get the hell out, I'm playing Doom 3

Your beauty's intense it breaks every law
Now be a good girl and lose the bra

Your nearness to me fullfills my greatest wish
Though you look like a monkey and smell like a fish

Such beauty you showed on my bed where you laid
Made me think of a bug and reach for the Raid

I kiss each footprint you leave on my floor
Now turn around wench, I'm kicking your *** out the door

A great story t'is your love the greatest ever told
Too bad you lost your looks and you're so freaking old

[edyzmedieval]

Nice.

Where'd you get em?

[Scurvy]

brilliant :D

[Beirut]

Nice.

Where'd you get em?

Just made 'em up.

[edyzmedieval]

Make more please.

[Avicenna]

Quebecans must have a funny accent, if 'law' rhymes with 'bra'

Great ones, by the way, Beirut and Sasaki.

EDIT: copyrighted*:

You're loving, intelligent, fun to boot,
Now get out, or feel the axe of Beirut!

[edyzmedieval]

They speak Frenglish.

[Uesugi Kenshin]

It seems to rhyme to me.....Then again I'm just a silly American.

Great rhymes Beirut!

[Beirut]

Your body is heaven, a pool into which I dive
But your face is real ugly and off the cliff I drive

I love you my sweetie I must have you right now
Though you're fat as a pig and as cute as a cow

I'm endlessly yours throughout all of the years
But your breath stinks like **** and brings me to tears

I'm loving your body all gorgeous and tight
But you're ugly as sin so please turn out the light

Making love to you baby, it's really where it's at
But I'm gone when it's over, if you want a friend get a cat

I married you baby and it makes me so happy
But I want a threesome you cow, call a hooker, make it snappy

Your hair is so soft, it shines and it's nice
Bummer for you you're infested with lice

Your love fills my heart like the sky and the land
Now make dinner you wench or taste the back of my hand