insulting proverbs

[Peasant Phill]

In a recent thread I kinda discovered that the dialect I speak (region around Courtrai/Kortrijk) has quite a lot of somewhat graphic proverbs concerning people that are ugly. I'm wondering if other dialects or languages also have such proverbs. Please note that I didn't make these up and are beeing used by a reasonable amount of people. Also note that some are hard to translate correctly with still the right meaning.

"He/she has a face to pave streetstones with"

"He/she has a face to walk behind a garbagetruck"

"He/she has a face to sort **** on" (I told you they were graphic)

"He/she has a face to roderen clubs on"
roderen is a dutch word but I can't find fitting translation.
'roderen' is averb that means using a tool until it performs optimally. for instance you have to use your soccer shoes for some time before they fit your feet perfectly.

Does your language or dialect have such proverbs? Please share them.

(No swearing - Beirut)

[English assassin]

Doesn't everyone? I like "a face like a bulldog licking [slang word for urine that rhymes with hiss] off a nettle" myself. Although "a face like a blind cobblers thumb" is good too.

A face that would stop a clock or a face only a mother could love are marginally more polite versions.

(And its only a matter of time before this thread inevitably spins off the Kingdom of Peace and Love rules, surely?)

[Fragony]

Dutch is an incredibly fun and dynamic language when it comes to insults, but it isn't really of any use posting them because it doesn't really work in translation.

[Moros]

"He/she has a face to pave streetstones with"

Are you sure that's local dialect? I've heard that one a lot too, and I'm from Bilzen, Limburg!

He's got a face to wipe your [a bodypart of 3 letters] with.
is one I've heard to.

[InsaneApache]

A gob like a bag of chisels.

A face like a burst couch.

She had a face that looked as though she'd been chasing a parked bus.

She had a very interesting left eye....the right one keeps looking at it.

[Peasant Phill]

I could be that it's more than regional, i only said so because I wasn't sure if it was common somewhere else.

EA, it's not my intention to use these against someone on the .org nor do I wish that someone would use them against someone on the .org. So I don't think that the Kingdom of Peace and Love rules will have to apply.

[Peasant Phill]

"She had a face that looked as though she'd been chasing a parked bus."

Nice one InsaneApache

[Duke Malcolm]

He's got a face to wipe your [a bodypart of 3 letters] with.
is one I've heard to.

Arm? Leg? Toe? Ear?

[caravel]

"he/she must have had a good beating with the ugly stick"

"he/she must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"

[Avicenna]

He/she has the head of a man and the brain of a pig.

Most insulting is done by your wit, and just making things up.

EDIT: this isn't English, of course.

[Ianofsmeg16]

"The Only Decent impression you could do is a man with no Talent"

Shamelessly stolen from Blackadder goes Forth

[Zalmoxis]

"he/she must have had a good beating with the ugly stick"

"he/she must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down"

Those are great. Sadly, I don't know any proverbs like this.

[Reverend Joe]

"She has a face like a horse." (Used specifically for Women.)

Wish I could think of one for Men...

[Papewaio]

"He/She chewed on the ugly stick."

"A face made for radio"

In response to how good looking a women is "She has a nice personality."

[Zalmoxis]

"A face made for radio"

So subtle and yet so cruel, I give it a thumbs up.

[Quid]

He/she could eat fries through a tennis racket.

Have heard most of the others. Some very funny ones. Unfortunately, I can't usually come up with proverbs at the right time. I am usually too pre-occupied with looking at the person in question, shaking my head...

Quid

[Ja'chyra]

She (Or he I suppose) could suck a golf ball through a garden house.

A face to scare the weans with.

I could care less, but I'd be dead.

Tell Kevin.

[Beirut]

So I don't think that the Kingdom of Peace and Love rules will have to apply.

Oh, you're darn right they apply.

[English assassin]

She (Or he I suppose) could suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

I always thought that one was a "compliment" of a sort? I don't think Org rules allow me to say why though.

Although I can't see any harm in asking a completrely and utterly unrelated question, which is I wonder what Monica Lewinsky is doing now?

[Quid]

Although I can't see any harm in asking a completrely and utterly unrelated question, which is I wonder what Monica Lewinsky is doing now?

Oh sly, Ea, very sly!

Quid

[GoreBag]

"He/she has a face to roderen clubs on"
roderen is a dutch word but I can't find fitting translation.
'roderen' is averb that means using a tool until it performs optimally. for instance you have to use your soccer shoes for some time before they fit your feet perfectly.

I believe you mean 'breaking in'. For instance, my favourite pair of jeans are five years old and very comfortable, since I broke them in after such a long time.

Anyway, around here, we use pronouns for this condition more often, like 'double-bagger' or 'butterface'.

[Peasant Phill]

I believe you mean 'breaking in'. For instance, my favourite pair of jeans are five years old and very comfortable, since I broke them in after such a long time.

Yes that's what I meant, unfortunatly it doesn't have that same ring to it. The words breaking, club and face doesn't leave much to the imagination now do they.