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Thread: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

  1. #1
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    What does God drink to get his pep back?

    Orchestrating terrorist attacks on homo-abortion mongers and giving strokes to Hebrews who let the unclean into the holy land can wear a higher power down. Thank God for Pat Robertson's magical milkshakes!!!!!

    Pat "invented" this special blend milkshake and because he drinks it every day he can leg press 2000 pounds. Yes, thats right, 2000 pounds.


    http://www.cbn.com/communitypublic/shake.asp

    http://apnews.myway.com/article/20060526/D8HRO5SO0.html


    Shoulda stuck with ripping phone books in half, old man. I hope God gives you a stroke for being an opportunistic liar. If you're gonna prove to everyone you're a fraud the least you can do is get caught doing something cool, like being with a hooker.
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  2. #2
    Praefectus Fabrum Senior Member Anime BlackJack Champion, Flash Poker Champion, Word Up Champion, Shape Game Champion, Snake Shooter Champion, Fishwater Challenge Champion, Rocket Racer MX Champion, Jukebox Hero Champion, My House Is Bigger Than Your House Champion, Funky Pong Champion, Cutie Quake Champion, Fling The Cow Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Virus Champion, Solitaire Champion, Worm Race Champion, Rope Walker Champion, Penguin Pass Champion, Skate Park Champion, Watch Out Champion, Lawn Pac Champion, Weapons Of Mass Destruction Champion, Skate Boarder Champion, Lane Bowling Champion, Bugz Champion, Makai Grand Prix 2 Champion, White Van Man Champion, Parachute Panic Champion, BlackJack Champion, Stans Ski Jumping Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Sofa Longjump Champion Seamus Fermanagh's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    I heard this on Macrini this morning and got a good chuckle.

    Pat's JQ'ed about 25 miles away, so we hear ALL of his stuff.

    Let's just say that Pat's been pressing a ton of ____________ about some things for some time.
    "The only way that has ever been discovered to have a lot of people cooperate together voluntarily is through the free market. And that's why it's so essential to preserving individual freedom.” -- Milton Friedman

    "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule." -- H. L. Mencken

  3. #3

    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    You don't understand , those were 2000 God pounds , a God pound is not the same an ordinary pound .
    The leg press must have taken one of those God minutes as well rather than an ordinary minute , as the photos of his amazing athletic achievement in 2003 span a period of 9 years

  4. #4
    Narcissist Member Zalmoxis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    I love capitalism.
    "Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite." - John Kenneth Galbraith

  5. #5
    Senior Member Senior Member Yeti Sports 1.5 Champion, Snowboard Slalom Champion, Monkey Jump Champion, Mosquito Kill Champion Csargo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    Quote Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump
    Thank God for Pat Robertson's magical milkshakes!!!!!

    Pat "invented" this special blend milkshake and because he drinks it every day he can leg press 2000 pounds. Yes, thats right, 2000 pounds.
    Pat Robertson's milkshake why use Pat Robertson's milkshake when you can have (drum roll)

    CSAR'S fantabulous milkshake you can leg press a gazillion mamillion pounds without even breaking a sweat. For more info call 1-800-DUMBA** they'll be glad to help you with your purchase.



    Pretty funny MRD gave me a good laugh

    Or wait did I cry I can't remember
    Quote Originally Posted by Sooh View Post
    I wonder if I can make Csargo cry harder by doing everyone but his ISO.

  6. #6
    smell the glove Senior Member Major Robert Dump's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    ok well in case no one knows what Patty claims to have leg pressed is more then the world record, and more than any known leg press machine could viably hold without breaking in half.

    i love this guy, he reminds me of the old preacher in the church i grew up in....as he got older and older and made more dementia-induced sermons the church "elders" refused toi replace him and my dad and stepmom
    eventaully left Rogers Lane Chuirch of God when he gave a 90 minute sermon that wa solely about oral sex, and how oral sex -- even between a married couple -- doomed you to hell. I suspect my parents leaving had something to do with:

    -they gave each other oral sex and

    -There were dozens of children in thje congregation, including a 10 year old MRD, who asked their paretns after the pot luck "what is oral sex?"

    Thanks, Pastor Odom, and thanks Pat Robertson. Oddly enough my "real" mom, who was also a Pentecostal, used to make me put my hands on the television when Pat Robertson prayed during the 700 club when i made my weekend visits. Obviously, that did a lot of good for me
    Baby Quit Your Cryin' Put Your Clown Britches On!!!

  7. #7
    Mad Professor Senior Member Hurin_Rules's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    Quote Originally Posted by Major Robert Dump
    I suspect my parents leaving had something to do with:

    -they gave each other oral sex and
    You are a brave, brave man even to contemplate such things. I, for one, surely arrived by stork.
    "I love this fellow God. He's so deliciously evil." --Stuart Griffin

  8. #8
    Old Town Road Senior Member Strike For The South's Avatar
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    Default Re: Pat Robertsons Magical Milkshakes

    MRD I had a pastor like that when I was little. Although weve replaced him
    There, but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford

    My aim, then, was to whip the rebels, to humble their pride, to follow them to their inmost recesses, and make them fear and dread us. Fear is the beginning of wisdom.

    I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation.

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