Philosophical Question

[Lemur]

Oh yes, 100% serious. That's why it's beautiful.

[Upxl]

Pirates no question.

Problem with ninjas is the same one as the Spartans.
Powerful yes, but also very traditionalistic.

Pirates on the other hand “acclimatize”.
They would kick ninja ass.
Besides, “never bring a sword to a gunfight” remember?

[Avicenna]

Ah, but how can you aim, when you cannot see?

That is why the ninjas are victorious my friend, they would fight in the night.

[doc_bean]

Ninja's would attack rich folks who were used to the light and didn't pay too much attention to the dark. Pirates, living in a big dark ship, have hightened senses in the dark. Advantage countered, and the pirates still have guns.

[Fragony]

and the pirates still have guns.

And eyepads, and looking badass is half the work.

And ninja's make funny noises.

[Banquo's Ghost]

Another vote for pirates. Not only are they way cooler (heck, they can wear eye patches) but they have the ultimate backing of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

'Nuff said.

[Avicenna]

Pirates would have candles on and be indoors drinking, playing funny games or something along those lines half the time in the dark. Ninjas still have the night vision advantage. Plus, the ninjas are in black! Also, a whole clan of ninjas will inevitably include females, who could seduce the pirates. Then, the males come in with ze swords.

By the way, your modern day 'cool' pirates: http://www.venganza.org/spread/bash.htm

[Fragony]

(eye patches)

That's cruel.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

It depends how much grog the pirates have had, I would say. I imagine the presence of large numbers of ropes for them to swing on, and/or Errol Flynn (ok, technically he would be a zombie pirate, but still) would increase their chances substantially.

We must also take into account the inverse ninja law, which states that the skill of ninja in a group is proportional to the inverse of the number of ninja in that group.

Inverse ninja law.

The law can be expressed mathematically in the equation



where p is equal to the average ninja power (anp) of the group, ae is the elite jib constant, which represents the power of a lone ninja, and N is equal to the number of ninja in a group. Following those rules, the ratio for determining the relative skill of any enemy group of ninja is ae divided by N. In layman's terms, the more enemy ninjas there are, the weaker each individual ninja is (unless the lone ninja is left in a near dead state to fight a larger battle at a later date).

[Lehesu]

Crap! I forgot about the inverse ninja law! Now this entire question is sunk. You can't very well compare one ninja versus one pirate, that would be ridiculous. And with the inverse ninja rule, any true comparison between pirates and ninjas would depend wholly on the size of the said ninja clan. But at what size ninja clan does one achieve the optimum and average level of skill inherent in the ninja as a class?

[doc_bean]

wel since a group, of pirates contains no ninja's, their power level would be infinite. therefor pirates still win

[Craterus]

It's ninja's so easily. The pirates would be eliminated one by one.

Ninjas are professionals. Pirates are a disorganised rabble.

[Kralizec]

But they make up for it with parrots, and alcohol-induced frenzy!

[John86]

George Foreman. That grill pwns.

[Zain]

If it was a one on one battle between one typical Ninja and one typical Pirate, the Ninja would win hands down because the Pirate hasn't been trained in any kind of organized fighting. All they know is poke you with their hook and shoot you with their rusty old revolver. I doubt they can aim either, since they're off balance from being used to being on a boat, having a pegleg, and always drunk. Ninja's stay on land, are sober (usually), and have all four limbs, mostly. Ninja's have the physical upper hand too because of balance and aim with their shurikens. Pirates have guns and canons, woo, they probably don't even know how to use those weapons half of the time anyway.

[crossroad]

I have the answer. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

[Avicenna]

See, both these pirates are trying to cleave their heads off, and failing.

[Peasant Phill]

the right one is the 'great white ninja' or something like it.

The comparison isn't really fair now is it. In the 'girl seducing' department our old friend Jack Sparrow will win hands down. No need to test both their skilles any further as we all know that in movies the winner allways gets the girl(s).

However I would like to set up a breeding program to cross ninjas with pirates. We would get superior skilled stealth fighters who defie the inverse ninja law or we would get drunk brawling rabble that give their position away right before striking somebody in the dark by shouting " Aye feel my cutlass you matey"

[Mithrandir]

Is it just me or are there other people also still laughing at the banana movie ?

[English assassin]

Its not just you. But i should warn you I am easily amused.

As the Inverse Ninja law (can't believe we overlooked that one) has pretty much bolloxed up the pirates: ninja fight question, I have a new one. Who is cooler, pirates or musketeers?

I go with musketeers on this one, on the basis that rapiers are way cooler than cutlasses. Also musketeers have better witty putdowns than pirates. And although there does seem to be a bit of an inverse Musketeer rule, which is an uncool thing, at least we know the optimal number of Musketeers (ie, three).

[The Spartan (Returns)]

Ah, but how can you aim, when you cannot see?

That is why the ninjas are victorious my friend, they would fight in the night.

you perhaps ninjas can win, but todays pirates have AK-47's and bazzokas not just pistol and a cutlass.

[Soulforged]

And why do bananas fit in my hand so nicely?

(I love that video. Hilarious stuff.)

If instead of a guy a woman had said all that, it would be so sexy...

About the philosophical question, as it gives no especific place to the fight, I'll suppose that they are fighting in a vacuum. If it was a one on one, then the ninja wins in only one draw of his sword. If it was of equals groups then ninjas win too, they can hide at plain sight and kill every pirate by stealth and guile, and they can also control minds.

[A.Saturnus]

Define pirates.

[Mithrandir]

at least we know the optimal number of Musketeers (ie, three).

What about D'artagnan then ?

[Dutch_guy]

If instead of a guy a woman had said all that, it would be so sexy...

About the philosophical question, as it gives no especific place to the fight, I'll suppose that they are fighting in a vacuum. If it was a one on one, then the ninja wins in only one draw of his sword. If it was of equals groups then ninjas win too, they can hide at plain sight and kill every pirate by stealth and guile, and they can also control minds.

True, but Pirates have an impressive arsenal of witty one-liners which confuse the hell out of the ninja's, thus rendering their incredible fighting skills useless.

Also, any self respecting pirate has a parrot, which as we all know, has decided many a ninja - pirate battle.

[Avicenna]

True, but Pirates have an impressive arsenal of witty one-liners which confuse the hell out of the ninja's, thus rendering their incredible fighting skills useless.

Also, any self respecting pirate has a parrot, which as we all know, has decided many a ninja - pirate battle.

They're such stupid lines that they're confusing?

you perhaps ninjas can win, but todays pirates have AK-47's and bazzokas not just pistol and a cutlass.

As well as having boats which contain HE fuel.

[Quietus]

Pirates can never 'sneak attack' due to the sound of their wooden foot and numerous trinkets; not to mention their smell would draw attention (and the ninja would easily be alarmed).

[Lehesu]

The argument for modern pirates or pirates lasting longer than ninjas is irrelevant because we have modern day ninjas like Sam Fisher. And you can't tell me he isn't real. Unless you want to break my heart.

[Somebody Else]

Dread Pirate Roberts.

[Banquo's Ghost]

I go with musketeers on this one, on the basis that rapiers are way cooler than cutlasses. Also musketeers have better witty putdowns than pirates. And although there does seem to be a bit of an inverse Musketeer rule, which is an uncool thing, at least we know the optimal number of Musketeers (ie, three).

Musketeers for sure. The Inverse Musketeer Rule only applies when there are more than four musketeers, and they have no names and wear blue. Or work for Richlieu.