Philosophical Question

[Avicenna]

You know, let's just end this.

Kung Fu Masters rule the world.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Gentlemen, if I may direct you to that one scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark for guidance.

In the movie Indiana Jones (we'll call him a pirate) faces down an obvious ninja in the street.

The ninja starts twirling his fancy numchuks and doing the little ninja taunt.

Meanwhile Indiana Jones just pulls out his gun and shoots. No more ninja.

Case closed.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

Gentlemen, if I may direct you to that one scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark for guidance.

In the movie Indiana Jones (we'll call him a pirate) faces down an obvious ninja in the street.

The ninja starts twirling his fancy numchuks and doing the little ninja taunt.

Meanwhile Indiana Jones just pulls out his gun and shoots. No more ninja.

Case closed.

yup that was very memorable.

[Big King Sanctaphrax]

Indiana Jones-

Parrot: No.

Burning tapers in his hair: No

Ship: No

Flagon of grog: No

Festooned with flintlock pistols: No

Cutlass: No

Eyepatch: No

Peg leg: No

Maverick archeologist-yes

Pirate-No

Your characterisation, sir, is baseless.

[GeneralHankerchief]

Au contraire.

Indiana Jones is an archaeologist, true. But he happens to be one who has a particular leaning to treasure. As in pirates.

In addition, he seems to have that very pirate-y attitude toward to women. And he also has the pirate's most important weapon- a gun. And while he may not have any of the pirate deformities, I think we can safely say that if he were shot in the eye, we would be seeing a patch. The same thing applies with a peg leg.

Indiana Jones is closer to a pirate than you may think.

[Lehesu]

Well wait. Saying that Indiana Jones is close to a pirate is like saying that if I dressed up in black Pajamas, I would be a ninja. It just doesn't make sense. Indiana Jones is a EXtreme archaeologist, nothing more. He just doesn't have that pirate mentality.

[Evil_Maniac From Mars]

Chuck Norris

[Lehesu]

White people just look goofy doing karate.

[Lemur]

I would just like to point out that in the deplorable Pirate Movie of 1982, there was, in fact, a fight between pirates and ninjas. Just so you know ...

[edit]

There's also a web site devoted to the debate ...

[doc_bean]

I think the web site is devoted to the ninja vs pirate (internet) movie, which I found disappointing...

[Drisos]

Ninja's aren't warriors.. they're assasins. However, I still think they would win. Pirates are just a bunch of bandits.. crap weapons, no training, etc.

[English assassin]

Ninja's aren't warriors.. they're assasins. However, I still think they would win. Pirates are just a bunch of bandits.. crap weapons, no training, etc.

Although I agree ninjas would win the fight, this sells pirates way short. You don't drink grog in every dockside tavern on the Spanish main, not to mention the South Seas, without learning a thing or two about fighting dirty.

Also, I reckon ninjas would find the whole pirate-ninja culture clash hard to deal with. I BET a ninja would fall for the old "Hey- Isn't that your mother coming into the bar" trick (Ninja looks behind him, pirate kicks ninja in the pods).

[Sensei Warrior]

In a fight, the ninja's wouldn't win, they would use ninja smoke screens and run away. The Pirates would be all ARRGH, and laughing, and they would go out on the town to celebrate, and get drunk.

They all go out partying, gettin hammered, and getting the girls (because there is no contest on that one, Pirates beat Ninjas at getting Chicks hands down). And this party lasts all night long.

What scene do we encounter the next day? A scene of terrible carnage as we realize all the Pirates are dead. What happened you may ask? I will explain.

Ninja's ran away from the fight because they are assassins, not fighters.

The bartenders and barkeeps were giving the Pirates drugged grog because they are all Ninjas in disguise.

All the Chicks the Pirates got? All female ninjas (called Kunoichi). Sure the girl ninjas had fun with the Pirates, but they still killed the Pirates in the end. At least these Pirates died happy.

Any Pirates that didn't go out partying, didn't encounter ninjas disguised as bartenders, and didn't pick up any ninja chicks had there throats slit while they slept.

Any pirates left over (even though there wouldn't be but for arguments sake) would be hunted down now that the ninjas had vastly superior numbers.

In the end, Ninjas will lose the fight (because they ran away), but emerge the victors of the conflict (because of intelligent stategy). In my opinion overall ninjas win.

Phew I hope that clears up any confusion.

[AntiochusIII]

Hmm. I always thought this question somehow ties in nicely with the competition of retardedness between the narutards and the one piece fanboys, and how their shows are better, which, of course, only those with some simple knowledge of modern anime are aware of the conflict.

[Note: Naruto is a ninja anime (duh) and One Piece is pirate (double duh)]

Naturally, my elitism as an intelligent (!) anime (!!!) fan (!!!!!!) prevents me to take sides.

[Mithrandir]

Define retardness...

[doc_bean]

intelligent anime fan

[Avicenna]

Gentlemen, if I may direct you to that one scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark for guidance.

In the movie Indiana Jones (we'll call him a pirate) faces down an obvious ninja in the street.

The ninja starts twirling his fancy numchuks and doing the little ninja taunt.

Meanwhile Indiana Jones just pulls out his gun and shoots. No more ninja.

Case closed.

Of course, there is that tiny little technical error you have made in classifying them: Indiana Jones isn't a pirate, nor is the Muslim warrior a ninja. A ninja would most definitely not pop up in front of him in broad daylight on the streets of Egypt.

[Mithrandir]

nor swing his sword 10 times to show off his skills. He'd just decapitate his enemy after blinding him with acid.

[The Spartan (Returns)]

Hmm. I always thought this question somehow ties in nicely with the competition of retardedness between the narutards and the one piece fanboys, and how their shows are better, which, of course, only those with some simple knowledge of modern anime are aware of the conflict.

[Note: Naruto is a ninja anime (duh) and One Piece is pirate (double duh)]

Naturally, my elitism as an intelligent (!) anime (!!!) fan (!!!!!!) prevents me to take sides.

Naruto "cough" pwns "cough" One Piece "cough" "cough" "cough" "cough" "cough" (throws up)

[matteus the inbred]

What about D'artagnan then ?

D'Artagnan is a free radical.

I am still laughing at the banana thing. Soulforged is absolutely right though.

[IrishArmenian]

I thought originally that I would make this deep but I cannot anymore, for I stumbled upon, perhaps, the greatest discrovery in the 21st century, and that is, what if rogue Ninjas started to hijack goods, pillage, and plunder? They become PIRATES that used to be NINJA. Also, the pirates do not have to be just Atlantic Pirates, what about the other Eastern pirates. Pirates, also, haveing no tradtion can adapt, as opposed to the Ninja, which must stay in their traditional boundaries. To summarize: Pirates would win, hands down.

[Lehesu]

But the problem is, is that those are no longer ninja. They are rogue agents that have split from the clan. After much consideration, and play of Ninja Gaiden, I have decided that Ninjas would have to win. It might take the entire clan to die except one to get over that inverse ninja rule, but it is inevitable.

[Papewaio]

Old Indiana Jones (George Hall) as seen in Young Indiana Jones Chronicles the TV series

Parrot: No, snakes kept eating them. That's why Indy really hated snakes, not this sissy fear stuff that those revisionists made up to make him more like themselves.

Burning tapers in his hair: No

Ship: Well it got boarded.

Flagon of grog: By the looks of him he was having a few.

Festooned with flintlock pistols: No, by that point technology had moved on.

Cutlass: Yes, but it was along with the Ark and other treasures taken away by the government.

Eyepatch: Yes

Peg leg: He needed a cane so he might have had an artifical leg.

Maverick archeologist-yes

Pirate-An archelolgoist by any other name

Pirates don't fight Ninja as both are too busy. However Pirates would win as you will see:

Ninja are too busy cutting off their legs to please thier master, it does cut down on their oppourtunity to have descendents.
Pirates are too busy mastering getting their leg over someone, it does however mean they have (quite a few) descendents.

[Lehesu]

[QUOTE=Papewaio]
Ninja are too busy cutting off their legs to please thier master, it does cut down on their oppourtunity to have descendents.QUOTE]

What?

[yesdachi]

Ninjas. Any other answer is just nonsense. Especially if the battle happened on land and on land in the night it would be a slaughter.

Any decent ninja could hold their own in a 1 on 1 fight against a samurai (half their gimmicky weapons were made to counter traditional weapons). Ninjas were bada$$ and were trained to fight as much as they were trained to assassinate. If the assassination attempt went sour they would still need to take care of the job and that would often mean a 1 on 1 show down because running away would mean a lost opportunity that may never become available again and a dishonor to the clan.

[Crazed Rabbit]

Pirates.

Guns, coolness, hats, grog, cool swords, etc.

Crazed Rabbit

[Reverend Joe]

Who would win?

Warrior Monks. No doubt about it. That, or a phalanx of Spartans.

[Avicenna]

Even pirates can shoot the Spartans to death

[Sjakihata]

Ninjas did have guns and we trained to stand still 24 hours. Imagine that a park full of a ninja clan freezing looking like shubbery and bushes at dusk. Then in walking a band of pirates - it would be something like this: swiing, slize, zip zap, gung bong, ouch, yiikes, arrgh, swoosh, splat.

[AntiochusIII]

Hence the exclamations.

Yes, they exist. It's like Yetis, and Bigfoots, you just have to know the Way to find them...

And don't go to anime-dedicated forums. Those are scary. Disturbingly scary.

Define retardness...

In my little context, not the medical/formal term, which is a trait, but the deragatory term, which is a behavior.

Not the ones unfortunate in birth but the self-made fools we all know and love.

And yes, ninjas have guns. They have everything. Pirates? Depends on what kind of people they are looting. I'm certain modern pirates (around the South China Sea...) have guns. A lot.

But they don't have guts, hah!

No pirates ever had the daring to hide themselves for two days in an archaic toilet to slay their targets, for example.